After suffering from a devastating breakup and the aftermath of my decisions, I figured out the best ways to move on after a lost love.
It is imperative that you take the time to heal and move on because unresolved emotions can and will come back to bite you in the ass down the line.
If you’ve thought about rebounding or drinking your worries away, then you might want to reconsider because these things only guarantee more pain and suffering down the line.
I’ve been in the position you are in right now but I can assure you that this pain doesn’t have to last forever.
You will move on and find incredible happiness again. It may take time but it can be attained.
Here’s exactly what you need to do to move on after a breakup and let go of someone you love.
Ways To Move On After A Lost Love
1. Take Time To Feel It To Heal It
The thing with feelings is that it never really just disappears if you try to ignore it. Push it away and it will just fester until you find yourself having an explosion within your heart and mind that almost knocks you out.
Heartbreak is no joke. It’s never just a breakup. I look at the loss of a long, serious and powerful relationship almost like a death.
You have to say goodbye to the person you love and the future you’ve wanted to have with them.
That’s not a joke, not by any means. You should do your best to feel those emotions.
Don’t run from the loss, feel it and embrace it. Get accustomed to being alone or single.
These hard times are important to work through so that you come out the other side stronger and open for love again.
2. Avoid Rebounding And Be Alone With Your Feelings
People make the assumption that rebounding is one of the ways to move on after a lost love but that isn’t true.
If anything, you’ll find yourself far more broken if that doesn’t work out and they rarely ever do work out.
Why? Because it’s like putting a bandaid of an infection. You’re not treating the virus and venom within your bloodstream.
Eventually, you’re going to fall apart because it got too strong and you piled on another relationship before you even let go of the previous one.
Get used to being alone first.
When you find yourself feeling content and happy by yourself, that’s when it’s a good time to start looking for a partner.
By that point, you would have worked through most of your heartbreak and found comfort in your own company.
Finding comfort in your own company can only take place once you’ve looked within and improved your life in more than one way.
So in other words, you’ve become the best version of yourself right now. And that’s the perfect way to be when looking for new love.
3. Make Peace With Your Regrets And The Outcome Of The Relationship
To move on after a lost love, you must be at peace with the result of your relationship.
The inability to accept that the past cannot be changed often results in suffering that is immeasurable.
I speak from past experience. It absolutely sucks.
Every time I attempted to move on, I found myself burdened by the regrets of my choices or things I could have done differently. Living like this will keep you firmly stuck in the past.
The only way I knew how to make peace with my regrets was to journal about it, speak to my closest and trustworthy friend and draw up a list of lessons to learn so that my next relationship doesn’t suffer.
I even went so far as to speak to my ex about it so that I could move past it. On some rare occasions, you must face those regrets in order to move forward.
An apology goes a long way in facilitating forgiveness. Forgiveness from the one you lost could be the first step to forgiving yourself and not hating yourself.
4. Surround Yourself With Family And Friends
It’s funny how we experience this undying desire to be with the love that we lost and yet in that time, we isolate ourselves from the rest of the people in our lives.
You have to bring yourself to be present in the lives of others around you.
These are the people who care for and love you tremendously.
You can always find a romantic partner but you can never find another mother or father again.
Those irreplaceable people are the ones who will be there when you are at your lowest. If you’re at your lowest now, let them be your pillars of strength.
You may be tempted to open up to them, do it.
Get it out of your system for a while but reserve some time to be a good friend or family member as well.
Going out may seem like a bad idea while you’re heartbroken but whether you go our or not, you’re still gonna have that pain to deal with.
What’s so bad about taking an hour or two away from that just to be with your loved ones trying to have a good time?
Consider that the next time your friends or family want to spend time with you and your first instinct is to blow them off to sit at home wallowing in self-pity.
5. Invest Time In Your Career And Goals
When my relationship of 4 years ended, I felt like a failure and that haunted me for nights.
This sucked out any desire from my life. I became a ghost of my old self. And during that time, I allowed my own life to take a backseat while I drowned myself in rebounds.
I did everything wrong.
After a year, I realized just how much of time I wasted without making proper progress with moving on after a lost love.
I was worse off because I built a ton of other issues over my heartbreak.
It was only until I worked through my regrets, spent time alone, stopped rebounding and started working on improving myself did I make strides in processing everything.
I stopped looking for ways to move on after a lost love because I was focused on the new life and new identity I was building.
Whenever I accomplished something, it rebuilt my confidence and gave me many more reasons to start loving myself again.
Take this into serious consideration.
Make a list of all the things you want to dedicate your life to and chase after them with all the effort you have within you.
Work through your pain by working on yourself.
6. Get Into A New Routine
Chances are, if you were with someone for a significant amount of time, you probably crafted a routine around that person.
Now that they aren’t in your life, you have all this free time.
The thought of that used to depress me. I would just resign into my room and do nothing other than beat myself up for what I had lost.
In reality, what I should have done sooner was redesign my routine.
You’re going through a change that maybe you didn’t want.
And that steals some of the control from you. Here’s a chance to take control of your life and the changes in it.
You get to make some changes to your routine that suit you.
Create a new routine that emphasizes your goals, ambitions, social life and recovery.
It will be hard at first. But, it’s imperative if you plan on getting over a breakup.
7. Eliminate All Contact Completely
I probably should have started with this because it is crucial for proper healing.
Back in the day when smartphones and Facebook didn’t exist, we wouldn’t be able to contact someone after a breakup unless we called them up or saw them in person.
This may have been difficult but it aided in accepting that a breakup was over and potentially permanent.
Nowadays, we have far too many mediums to keep us involved and alert of everything our ex-lovers are doing.
This is unhealthy and creates an inability to accept the end of things.
You are better off removing your ex from all social media sites and from your contact list indefinitely.
Forget about all these people who speak of 30 days of no contact.
No contact means no contact forever unless someone reaches out to you, especially if they broke up with you.
Take some of the power back and make the choice to remove your lost love from your digital space.
8. Remove All Reminders Of Your Lost Love
Pictures, videos, notes, letters and so forth need to go. If you’re not ready to delete and trash these things, you can store them inside a box and keep them locked away.
I’m a very sentimental person and it took me a long time to do this but it felt therapeutic.
Holding onto old sentiments during a painful time doesn’t always facilitate healing.
Sometimes, it just keeps us trapped within those captured memories.
Think about why every single horror movie talks about a spirit being tied to a memento of sorts. Silly example, I know, but the message is still valid.
Reminders need to go so that you aren’t reminded!
Consistency Is Required When Trying To Move On After A Loss
There’s no time limit for how long it takes to heal after a loss but I can guarantee you that good times are on the way.
I took a long time to figure out this system but it taught me many lessons along the way.
Trust me, I sympathize with the pain that you’re going through. But you have to be consistent with these ways of moving on after a lost love for them to work.
In time, you will find yourself completely healed and renewed.
Once you are healed, then it is the perfect time to hit the dating scene again!
I have absolutely no doubt about it at all. And if you can do that, then there’s no way you will be single for a long time. In fact, you’ll probably find a higher quality person to love in the near future.
If you need coaching or require some advice on a relationship or dating emergency, you can visit my services page and get in contact. I offer email coaching and emergency email advice within 24 hours of receipt.
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