After a breakup, most people suffer the pain of missing their ex, along with a severe hit to their self-confidence. The end of any relationship guarantees some damage, but that doesn’t mean you have to remain scathed. On the contrary, breakups provide an opportunity to grow stronger and wiser. It can be hard to regain self-love after a rejection from someone you love, but I’ve mastered the art of bouncing back. In this article, you will learn about all the effective ways to love yourself after getting dumped.
The most important thing you can do is take all that love within you and channel it towards yourself. It’s the hardest thing to do, especially when you have directed that love to your ex, but it’s the most impactful.
I’m willing to bet that what feels easy to do right now is critique yourself and embark on a journey of self-loathing.
Rather than hurt yourself with constant negativity, criticism, and judgment, try being compassionate to yourself.
Imagine that you are counseling a friend through a breakup and talking to yourself in that manner. It will make a world of difference if you can pull this off on a daily basis for an extended period of time.
Okay, so with that being said, let’s move on to everything else you need to do.
Related article: How to get over a love hangover
How To Love Yourself After Getting Dumped
1. Allow Yourself To Grieve
It surprises me how many of us cast shame and judgment on ourselves for being hurt and upset.
Even if you mess up, there’s a big difference between feeling shame for your choices and shaming yourself for having feelings.
Allow yourself to feel these emotions as they rise and fall without unnecessary judgment to heal them.
2. Practice Self-Compassion
The voice in your head that is shouting words of criticism and judgment at you should be overpowered by your own voice.
Imagine that you are counselling a friend through a breakup, and speak to yourself with compassion, kindness, consideration, and positivity.
Whenever you feel inclined to indulge in negative self-talk, shift the focus towards words of encouragement and affirmations.
3. Build A Positive Routine
After getting dumped, everything will remind you of your relationship and ex. A significant change has taken place in your life that may elicit feelings of powerlessness.
What I advise most people to do is implement a new positive routine that isn’t exhausting or overwhelming.
Doing so will help ease your pain and give you a sense of control over your life. This will counteract feelings of powerlessness while providing mental and physical support through healthy and positive habits.
Create a healthier meal plan, improve your schedule, partake in a sporting activity, read, and pray.
You’ll really start to feel a sense of self-love as you develop a deep relationship with your new positive routine while distancing yourself from the one that was so closely tied to your relationship with your ex.
Related article: 10 Ways to rebuild self-confidence after a breakup
4. Surround Yourself With Support
Being around supportive friends and family who encourage you to be compassionate to yourself will help you love yourself after getting dumped. We all need people to cheer us on, especially when we are weakened by a breakup.
A good support system will offer advice for your long-term happiness while nurturing a safe environment for you to grieve and heal.
At the same time, you can pour love into these relationships rather than letting it go to waste.
This is one of the best ways to love yourself after getting dumped.
5. Focus On Self-Care
It’s tempting to eat unhealthily and abandon your healthy habits after getting dumped, but I implore you to make an effort to maintain self-care.
Don’t pile on more reasons for you to feel bad about yourself.
Even if it doesn’t feel good at first, be consistent with your diet, exercise, and sleep. In fact, if you can, add on more self-care and treat yourself to soothing and empowering activities.
When you begin to heal and move on, you’ll be so happy to look in the mirror and like what and who you see.
Related article: 10 Ideas for self-care after a breakup
6. Rediscover Your Passions
Once you spend a few days or weeks grieving and accepting the breakup, it’s time to pick yourself up and seek out positive emotions.
I always like to wait before I try new and fun things because I don’t want to tarnish them with my shock and pain during those early days of a breakup.
When you start to desire the feeling of peace and joy, that’s when you should jump at exploring hobbies and interests. I suggest making a list of 100 things to do, be, or become and starting to experience as much as you can.
You’ll be surprised and amazed by what you’re capable of doing and experiencing.
Over time, this will help you build confidence and self-love.
7. Reflect And Learn
The best way to soothe suffering is by giving it meaning. How can we do this? By seeking out lessons that can help us improve in the future,.
Having this future-based mindset encourages us to look at life with hope and anticipation for what is to come.
Find meaningful lessons from the relationship or breakup and use those as fuel to grow.
Related article: 10 Reasons why you should believe in love
8. Pray And Meditate
As I’ve gotten older, peace and comfort have always been at the end of a prayer mat. It’s just so cathartic, opening up to a higher power.
On a daily basis, these little moments of peace and comfort add up and allow us to view life through a better lens.
In turn, this helps us to view ourselves in a better light, which contributes to loving ourselves again.
9. Set Boundaries
People who love themselves all have something in common: boundaries.
These boundaries enforce self-respect, and what we know about love is that without respect, it cannot exist.
Establish clear boundaries with your ex-partner to give yourself the space you need to heal.
This may include limiting or cutting off contact for a while.
10. Seek Professional Support
If you can afford it, I’d encourage you to seek out the help of a professional.
I know there’s still a stigma attached to therapy and counseling, but you can learn a lot about coping with hardship and developing self-love with the right type of professional.
Don’t struggle on your own when there are people who are experts at walking alongside us as we heal from loss and learn to love ourselves again.