It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve failed as a partner in the past, with the right intention and desire to improve, you can become an amazing lover. Which is why I want to highlight some of the best ways to be a better partner.
One of the benefits of improving yourself as a partner is that it seeps into other areas of your life.
Your ability to listen and communicate with people will improve, your overall demeanor and approach to issues will change and the way you view yourself will take a turn for the better.
I really believe that this is an overlooked effect of romantic relationships.
They can truly mold the way you behave in life and that can be empowering if your relationship is healthy.
But before we can expect more from our loved ones, we must first look within and improve ourselves. I strongly recommend you study and apply these ways to be a better partner because it can be life-changing.
With that being said, let’s get into this list of the 12 ways to be a better partner.
1. Be more present with your partner
Anyone who has been in a serious relationship is aware of how the love transforms into something deeper, meaningful, calming and wholesome as time goes on and you build memories with your partner.
It’s the type of love that makes you feel at ease with your partner and provides stability as well as insane trust.
Most people can reach this level of love if they make a more conscious effort to remain present in the relationship. By present, I simply mean living in the moment with your partner.
Forget about what other people are thinking, get off your phone and be in the moment with your partner.
By experiencing life together, you will experience a form of love that stays with you for a long time.
2. Court your partner more often
In keeping with the above, I’ve noticed a trend with lovers who dial down the romance when the honeymoon phase tends to pass.
When in reality, they ought to make more of an effort to be romantic and thoughtful.
By courting and dating your partner indefinitely, it keeps the romance alive. That spark you experienced at first doesn’t dim down and the excitement of your relationship reaches a stable level.
There’s not a better way to nurture love and to make your partner feel desired than by courting them, especially when it’s not expected.
Here’s a list of romantic and fun date ideas for you to try.
3. Talk to them about decisions that may affect them or the relationship
I can’t begin to emphasize the importance of good communication in a relationship. So many great couples break up because they didn’t make an extra effort to communicate.
The longer you are with a person, the more you ought to disclose to them.
Be more transparent and considerate of how your decisions may affect them and the relationship.
Granted, you don’t set out to intentionally make a decision to annoy or hurt your partner but it can happen, even if your intentions are completely good and innocent.
Just run it by them and let them know what’s going on. He or she will not only feel more trust towards you but they will respect you tremendously.
4. Avoid lashing out at your partner
I can sympathize with people who have anger issues or who are temperamental. It’s not by choice nor do you set out to be a raging mess.
But, there are consequences for giving in to your anger and lashing out.
You may feel justified at the moment and your partner may forgive you but the damage it does on the relationship is often significant and toxic.
Like a virus, the more you feed it, the stronger it gets. Before long, it infects the entire relationship and then your partner feels a host of negative feelings towards you.
Rather than lash out, choose to take a moment or some time to cool down.
Let your partner know how you’re feeling in a respectful manner and then try to discuss the issue in a respectful manner.
If you can make a conscious effort to avoid lashing out at your partner by screaming, cussing and being offensive, you’ll have a much healthier relationship and you won’t have to deal with the guilt attached to losing control of yourself.
Trust me when I say that disrespectful behavior often leads to an incredibly toxic relationship. If you truly love your partner, you’ll work on your anger issues.
5. Don’t manipulate or lie
Don’t fall into the trap of making up stories and telling lies to avoid owning up to your mistakes. Not only does this make you a toxic partner but it blatantly disregards the sanctity of a romantic relationship.
Without trust, you have nothing. Manipulation and lies have no place in any healthy relationship.
It’s not too late to turn things around. Place a greater emphasis on being honest. It’s for your benefit as much as it is for your partner.
6. Be more spontaneous
As we discussed earlier, comfort zones are a natural phenomenon in life when something exists beyond its novelty.
Rather than fall into a lazy relationship devoid of excitement, take the initiative to be more fun and adventurous.
Take your partner on new and thrilling dates, change up your routine and be more open to experimenting normally and sexually.
7. Avoid being overly clingy and possessive
Let’s clear the air on being clingy and possessive. By nature, they aren’t toxic.
A child clings to it’s mother and a mother is possessive of her child. That’s a healthy relationship and there’s nothing wrong with that.
The clingyness and possessiveness eases with time and trust. This is true for all forms of relationships.
When you allow your desire to be clingy and possessive to hinder your partner’s life or at the expense of your partner’s happiness, that’s when these two traits become extremely toxic.
Giving your partner the space to live their life as well, it nurtures trust and desire.
Rather than forcing your partner to spend more time with you, he or she will desire to be with you more without any persuasion.
Some form of distance and time away elicits feelings of desire and longing. I’ve spoken about how to make him miss you and make her miss you in-depth already. I strongly recommend you read those articles.
8. Avoid being hypercritical
During the early phases of a relationship, it’s not uncommon to feel as if your partner fell straight from heaven. It’s the honeymoon phase and that’s normal.
But, at some point or another, you will reach a point in the relationship when you see your partner more clearly.
The longer you are with them, the easier it become to identify those traits or features about them that are less than ideal.
But always bear one thing in mind – love is not about perfection. True love is accepting of flaws.
So rather than criticizing your partner and making him or her feel unloved and bad, focus on the things you actually adore.
9. Split the bill when you can
Going on dates and living together is not cheap in this day and age. It can take a financial toll on your partner, especially if they’re not working right now or going through a tough time.
In which case, splitting the bill and helping out where you can is a kind and thoughtful thing to do as a partner.
The best partners are those who help and love their partners even through hardship.
10. Be patient
There will be times when you disagree with each other – when your partner is unable to be around as much or when your partner is moody or irritable and that is when it is most important to be patient.
We all are susceptible to having bad days.
Rather than be judged for it, there is far more value in a partner who maintains a patient attitude.
More often than not, being patient diffuses a situation way faster than if you did something else or argued.
11. Support their dreams
There’s nothing more fulfilling than finding your purpose in life and pursuing your dreams. So many of us don’t have the luxury of doing that. But when the opportunity to do so appears, it would be a huge mistake not to.
Granted, it may not be the most ideal situation, especially while you’re in a relationship.
But, if there’s a way that your partner can find balance in his or her life and not disregard the relationship, then, by all means, be supportive.
Going after your dreams can be a lonely journey at times but the support of a loved one can make a world of a difference. Be that difference in your partner’s life.
Stand by him or her and they will never forget that you did.
12. Trust your partner
If you’ve been cheated on before or betrayed by an ex-lover, I can understand why you may be insecure or afraid of being cheated on. And that may influence you to act in a less than ideal way.
But, if you allow those insecurities to rule you, they will ruin you.
All relationships come with some form of risk attached to them.
Trying to control your partner and actively prevent them from cheating on you is a foolish man’s errand.
Focus your energy on being the best possible partner and trust that your partner will be loyal and faithful. That’s how trust develops and deepens. Not through 100% certainty but via tested belief.
You will have a loving relationship
Those who apply themselves to be better always experience growth and rewards in their life. And I absolutely love that.
You don’t need skill or talents to become an amazing partner. Through hard work and effort, you can create a wonderful, loving and long-lasting relationship with your partner.
The fact that you’re reading this article is a testament to your desire for growth. I commend you for it.
I hope that you found this article to be insightful. Let me know your thoughts and please share your tips in the comment section below.