I want to begin this article by emphasizing something important – Triple texting is a horrible idea!
Let’s assume for a second that you’ve met someone you find hot and endearing. You manage to get their number either online or in-person and now you’ve been texting. But, they haven’t responded. Hours pass or perhaps even a day.
You start to wonder what could possibly have happened to your future soul mate.
Perhaps they’re not okay, perhaps something bad has happened or perhaps they are losing interest, so you decide to double text.
Expecting to get a reply, you wait and wait but nothing happens.
Your future beloved seems to have disappeared from planet Earth. This sends you down a trip of anxiety and fear. Desperation wraps itself around you like a cold wet blanket.
Unable to shake the fear of loss or the sting of rejection, you do the unthinkable, you triple text.
What is triple texting?
It is the act of sending three text messages in a row, at different intervals, to someone who has not yet replied to your initial messages.
Pretty self-explanatory, I know.
Triple texting can take place within a relatively short period of time or it could take place over a number of hours or days.
Depending on the circumstances, triple texting may have dire consequences to your specific relationship and can mean a number of things which we will discuss below.
Why is triple texting bad?
When it comes to dating, during the early periods of courtship, triple texting can be viewed as a sign of desperation and neediness.
Ask any dating coach or refer to an expert in social engagement whether it’s okay to chase after someone for a response. The majority of them will agree that it isn’t.
Chasing someone to respond to your text messages shifts the balance of power in their favor. It places you in an inferior position. The act itself creates the impression that you place a high value on them.
What this means is that you possess a significant amount of desire, investment and care with regards to the engagement/interaction.
Some may argue that it isn’t such a big deal but I beg to differ.
During those early phases of courtship, uncertainty lends a helping hand in building attraction and fondness.
It’s the very same reason why being mysterious is highly attractive.
When you hit the ball into the other player’s court, the expected move is to wait for them to hit it back.
This simple analogy accurately represents the flow of conversation. Both parties are responsible for hitting the ball of conversation into the other party’s side of the court.
A relationship depends heavily on the mutual flow of conversation. The more equal it is, the better your results.
One of the hardest virtues to exercise is patience, particularly in the sphere of dating.
Waiting on the other person to respond can provide much-needed clarity. It helps you determine whether you are a priority or not. It also helps you understand the circumstance of the relationship and the level of interest that exists.
Based on these observations, you can alter the way you show up to the interaction to better your chances of success.
Triple texting tends to sabotage all of that.
The receiver of these texts gets a clear understanding of your interest level in him or her.
Within the context of an actual romantic relationship, there may be nothing wrong with that.
But during those early stages of courtship, the rules are different.
Situations when triple texting is okay
Much like double texting, there are ways to triple text without looking desperate, clingy or needy.
For starters, triple texting jokes may not be construed too negatively.
Triple texting to clarify an ambiguous message, to provide an update, or to provide more details is also not problematic.
Even triple texting that is based on friendly or flirty banter may not be a put-off.
Furthermore, triple texting someone who has suffered a loss or has been through a traumatic incident is perfectly okay and thoughtful.
As much as I would avoid triple texting altogether, you can get away with it under these circumstances.
The worst type of triple texts
I would be amiss not to touch on the one type of triple texting that reeks of desperation and neediness.
It’s the type of messages which can have a huge impact on attraction and a series of texts that could ruin your chances of success. They come in a number of different variations but here’s the gist of it –
- “Why aren’t you replying to me?”
- “please reply to me.”
- “Are you ignoring me?”
These types of texts usually represent the final nail in the coffin.
Sad to say but if someone makes you wait so long for a reply that you feel compelled to send such desperate texts, then they’re not worth your time.
Either they’re genuinely busy with something out of the ordinary or they’re just not that into you.
Worst of all, they could be into someone else.
Either way, you never want to be chasing after someone like this. If they can’t even take the time to reply to your text message, what gives you the idea that they’re going to be a good partner for you?
What can you do after triple texting?
It’s time to hang up your boots and let things play out as they will.
After your third unanswered text, there’s really no reason for you to reach out again.
It will do nothing more than cause damage.
My advice would be to sit back, relax and master the art of inaction. In this sort of situation, inaction can be the best action to take.
I believe it’s important to maintain a standard of behavior you are willing to accept within a romantic relationship.
Three unanswered texts over a number of days should be the type of behavior you simply do not accept from someone you’re seeing.
This should be a good indicator of his or her interest level and as such, you should dial back your efforts and not waste too much time on this person unless they are willing to meet you halfway.
If I’m being honest, the only time I would ever triple text anyone again is if I have a solid relationship with them.
Otherwise, I’ll just wait and carry on with my life. And you know what, so should you.
With that being said, I hope you enjoyed reading this article on triple texting. Let me know what you think in the comment section below.
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