It’s an exciting time when you are dating someone new. Attraction levels are sky-high, you can’t get enough of each other and everything appears rosy. Finally, love is in the air. But, it’s fragile. Which is why you need to accustom yourself to these 20 tips for dating someone new.
If you are aware of what to do during the early phase of dating, you can turn this new relationship into a long-lasting romantic love story for the ages.
Or at the very least, you can avoid messing up and losing this new someone over a mistake that could have easily been avoided.
The following tips for dating someone new are specifically curated to improve attraction, build trust, have fun and avoid making big mistakes.
1. Enjoy the moment
Worrying about what could happen in the future or what has happened in the past is a recipe for disaster. It tarnishes the present moment and prevents you from appreciating what you have.
You can only control what you can control. Focus on how you show up to each of your dates and let life work it’s magic for you.
Have belief that everything will work out the way it’s meant to.
Enjoying the moment will also have a positive effect on attraction because you will be exhibiting signs of happiness and positive energy.
I have personally found that being present in the moment and building new memories is a simple but effective way of moving on from what bothers you about the past.
2. Don’t focus on labels
Far too many people get hung up on the status or labels when dating someone new – to the point of coming across as desperate and clingy.
Ideally, if you focus on enjoying each other’s company and having a great time, progressing into a relationship that is more exclusive will happen naturally and with ease.
This has always been the case in my life.
If things are going well, you’ll know and feel the natural progression of the relationship and so will your new partner.
3. Try new things
Now is the perfect opportunity for you to step out of your comfort zone and try new and exciting things.
This will make you appear to be exciting and spontaneous which are two characteristics popularly known to improve attraction when dating someone new.
Monotony kills romance. Try to avoid getting into a dull routine too fast. Prolong this great phase for as long as you can.
For a list of fun date ideas, check out this list.
4. Be vulnerable
Building trust requires taking some risk. Even if you’ve been cheated on before or taken advantage of, you have to be willing to open yourself up to someone new.
Doing this may be scary but it is imperative you try because that is the best and fastest way to build a stronger bond with someone.
There isn’t many feelings that can compare with trusting the right person.
5. Don’t be controlling
A healthy relationship doesn’t restrict or confine two people, on the contrary, it provides them with the freedom and space to embrace who they are as individuals without judgment or control.
Exercise caution when trying to tell your new partner what to do.
Give them the space to be themselves and you’ll be shocked at how much they want to be around you.
6. Be honest
Honesty is the best policy. The majority of breakups are caused by lies or a delay of honesty.
Honesty is a sign of respect. It also projects a strong image of who you are as a person, especially your character.
Even if your new partner is mad at what you share, they will respect, appreciate and admire the fact that you were honest.
7. Avoid making comparisons
One of the best ways to ruin a new romantic situation is to compare your new partner with an ex.
It’s disrespectful. And it’s also undermining. You are setting a standard by comparing your new partner to an ex.
And your ex becomes the standard!
Do you really want to place your ex on such a pedestal?
You’re much better off making a list of traits you would like in an ideal partner, narrow it down to the 5 most important characteristics and use that as a measuring stick.
8. Be mysterious
Attraction can be divided into three types – physical, intellectual and emotional.
Physical attraction can take place instantaneously whereas intellectual and emotional are slow burners. They develop over time and through experience.
These two forms of attraction take place when you are together as well as apart.
What you do in person gives your new partner information to reflect on when you are not together. It is during those moments away from each other when someone starts to miss you and develop deeper feelings.
Rather than divulge everything about yourself on the first date, prolong it. Give your new partner just enough to stew on by being mysterious.
9. Pay attention
I cannot begin to tell you how important it is to pay attention to people in your life.
You can never truly get to know someone on a deeper level if you don’t listen to what they say or observe what they do.
More importantly, if your partner doesn’t feel heard, chances are such that you will have a harder time getting them to open up.
Don’t be on your phone when you’re on a date or having an important conversation.
Also, give your partner the opportunity to talk. Don’t monopolize every conversation.
10. Be romantic
Often, it’s not the big grand gestures that are the most romantic but the subtle ones like a sweet good morning call to a little surprise hand written note.
Utilize this opportunity to be as romantic as you’d like.
Find little but significant romantic gestures to kick start the romance.
11. Don’t be clingy and overbearing
Clingy and overbearing people are known to wear you out. They often project signs of insecurity and desperation.
Give your new date some time to think and miss you. I strongly believe that in a healthy relationship, if you give your partner the space to come to you, they often will.
Then you don’t have to be clingy because you’ll both enjoy being around each other as much as possible.
12. Avoid texting too much
You wouldn’t believe how easy it is to talk someone out of liking you by simply texting too much.
Save conversations for in-person interaction. And if you’re in a long-distance relationship, opt for video calls instead.
Texting makes it too easy to misconstrue words or come across as weirdly silly.
13. Don’t talk about other people
Some people have this idea that talking about other people is a good way to make someone jealous and thus, like you more.
But that can easily backfire, especially when you’re dealing with an extremely high quality person with loads of self confidence.
Rather than get jealous and chase after you, they’ll come to the conclusion of you not being that into them and simply move on.
Another poor decision to make is bashing your ex. It makes your new date consider the possibility of you doing the same thing to them if things were to not work out.
14. Only give genuine compliments
Men seem to make this mistake the most, especially those who follow pick up artist advice and end up giving weird compliments.
A genuine compliment is something that comes from the heart. It’s genuine and authentic.
For compliments to hold a lot of weight and impact, you must not abuse them with overuse. Save your compliments for when they actually matter.
15. Be kind and considerate
Kindness and consideration goes a long way in dating.
It’s not about money, it’s about caring enough to help someone else or to take care of them, even in a small way.
When it comes to dating, kindness and consideration can come in the form of the time you spend with your new love interest.
Small but significant gestures go a long way in developing a strong bond and fondness for each other.
16. Joke around
Put a smile on someones face or make them laugh until their stomach hurts and you have won the battle.
Love and romance thrives in positive energy.
Even though tough times helps the heart grow fonder, it is these fun and jovial moments that really make an impact.
Just try not to take yourself too seriously. Start there.
17. Ask questions
Having a genuine interest in getting to know each other takes some effort. You need to ask questions about them as a person, questions that have the ability to make you two grow closer.
Love grows and develops through understanding each other. That’s best done by sharing memories, experiences, opinions and thoughts.
For a list of the best questions to ask a date, check out this article.
18. Let intimacy unfold organically
When I was much younger, I made the mistake of trying to rush the moment and make a move with disastrous results.
It can easily make things awkward if you’re not aware of what signs of attraction indicate a willingness from your partner.
If the moment feels right, go for it.
If you have to force a moment, then back off. That’s when you’re taking a big risk, especially with someone new.
Waiting a week or two shouldn’t be such a big problem in the grand scheme of things, right?
19. Don’t unload your baggage
Obviously, the point of being with someone is to share your life with them. Often that results in taking a walk down memory lane. And that’s okay but not so much during the earliest and heated point of romance.
Allow some time to pass. Build a better connection with this individual. Focus on the romance at hand rather than drudging up the past.
When the time is right, your new love interest will ask and that’s when you can open up.
20. Maintain other areas of your life
It’s very tempting to get wrapped up in a new romance and allow it to monopolize all of your time. But, that’s not healthy for you or the relationship.
First of all, time away from each other becomes time spent thinking, fantasizing and missing each other. All of which will have a positive effect on attraction and the relationship in general.
Secondly, if the only stimuli in your life is one person, it places a heavy burden on that person and the relationship to constantly deliver what you like. But, that’s not sustainable and will create unnecessary pressure on both of you.
Thirdly, spend too much time with one person and you pose the risk of suffering a burnout, falling into a monotonous routine or having unnecessary arguments.
Lastly, other people in your life like friends and family deserve some attention from you. Maintaining those relationships matters long term.
If you care, you’ll find the time for them and a good partner will completely understand.
In the same breath, don’t stop pursuing your goals and ambitions. These are important for self-development.
Have a great time
If there’s one thing you can do to improve your dating life and get better at relationships, it would be to have a willingness to learn.
Mastery comes from practice.
Put yourself out there, be easy going, have a great time and approach every date with the intention of improving yourself as a person and lover.
I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope these tips for dating someone new prove to be of value in your life.
Let me know what you think of this article in the comment section below.
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