This is going to be incredibly ironic to say, but I believe it to be true. The only relationship advice you need is to self-examine. Life is constantly trying to teach you lessons, and if you are able to open your eyes, analyze what happened in your life, and make adjustments as needed, you’ll improve.
A constant cycle of action, analysis, adjustment, and new action is the best way to improve your love life.
For a long time, I was furious about why I kept encountering the same type of partner or going through the same type of relationship.
History repeated itself, and I was fed up.
The mistake I made was that I ignored the lessons. Rather than analyze and adjust, I escaped reality and jumped into the next-best relationship without learning from my past experiences.
You have to realize that events in your life remain mistakes if you don’t learn from them. If you extract meaning and lessons from your mistakes, they become experiences that help you improve and cultivate a love life that suits your needs and wants.
Think about this for a second. Most relationships end for the following reasons:
- Poor communication
- A loss of attraction
- Disconnection from distance
In every single one of those cases, prior knowledge could help save these relationships or save a person from unnecessary heartbreak by remaining with the wrong person.
How do you obtain such knowledge?
The ability to pay attention, analyze, and understand what is happening in your relationships and with people can drastically change the course of your life.
What most of us struggle with is objectivity when we are emotionally tied to someone.
I realize that it is hard to be perspicacious when you’re emotionally stimulated, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. In fact, if it’s difficult, then there’s probably value in it because valuable results come from difficult tasks.
Honestly, meditate on this idea because I often wonder why we rely on other people’s advice and experiences when we don’t know for certain that it would apply to us.
You have to start within and then work your way out.
Learn every lesson you can from your own experiences, and when you have, look externally for advice and lessons that could benefit you.
Follow that order, and you’ll improve your love life.
When I was younger, I listened to everyone else except for myself. I don’t know where that lack of trust stemmed from, but ever since I developed a willingness to look at myself and my experiences with the express purpose of learning lessons, things improved, and I realized that I’m the master of my own world.
I know how to improve my life best, and I believe that most of you do too if you can develop the ability to be perspicacious.
Pull out a notebook and make a list of every single lesson you’ve learned from relationships in your life. Think all the way back to when you were a late teen to a young adult and onwards. Examine different situations, extract some lessons, and make a note of them until you’ve maxed out everything you can think of.
I promise you that by the time you’re done with this activity, there’ll be a handful of lessons that currently apply to your love life.
Make those adjustments and changes according to your own notes, and watch what happens.
Certain relationships will fizzle out because these people aren’t actually good for you, and others will flourish because you’ll improve the way you behave and filter the people in your life.
Nobody is as invested in your happiness and wellbeing as you are.
As much as we want to love others, we have to assign some of that love and effort solely to ourselves.
Put in the work to figure out what you need to do to have the kind of life and love that you want. It will be painful, but the result of your endurance and patience will be growth.
Take it from someone who did the same thing over and over again and expected different results. You won’t succeed using the same habits and strategies that landed you in this place of dissatisfaction.
The unknown path is scary, but it may offer you invaluable growth, lessons, and rewards.
Here’s a list of some of my best articles on relationship advice I discovered from my own love life: