After a breakup of getting rejected, that fear of being easily forgotten is painful. It can mess with your head and make you believe that there’s no reason for your ex or someone you cared about to even remember you. But, as it turns out, that’s usually incorrect. In fact, I would go so far as to say that a guy can even regret losing you which means he’ll never forget you. With that being said, I want to talk about the kind of girl guys regret losing.
I’m going to ruffle a few feathers when I say this but it’s not the type of girl social media and pop culture shoves down our throat.
I thought about myself and I made a list of traits in someone who I regretted losing. Then, I decided to survey as many men who were willing to have an honest conversation with me about regret.
I went through forums, read stories and watched videos and realized that most of the traits of the women they regret losing matched mine.
Here’s a quick look at exactly the kind of girl guys regret losing.
- She is loyal
- She is kind hearted
- She is nurturing
- She is respectful
- She is agreeable
- She isn’t starved for attention
- She is playful and fun
- She is supportive
- She holds men to a higher standard
- She listens and pays attention
- She doesn’t waste her time with low value men
Let’s examine these traits in more detail so that we can develop a firm understanding of what a guy really values in a relationship with a girl.
Related post: Can a man come back to you?
11 Traits Of A Girl That Guys Regret Losing
1. She is loyal
The number one trait any man is looking for in a woman is loyalty. It’s the precursor for any healthy relationship and a non-negotiable requirement for the majority of men in the world.
Unfortunately, some people do not appreciate and understand the importance of a loyal partner until they have lost it.
As men mature, they begin to value traits like loyalty above other things in a partner.
Ask any man if he regrets losing a woman and why, most of the time, he’s going to say yes and describe a woman who was loyal to him.
Another important factor to consider is the rise of social media.
Women are being pursued all the time and their inboxes are filled with desperate men looking for a chance to be with them.
It’s becoming harder to find exclusivity which is what makes a loyal girl so valuable.
2. She is kind hearted
Kindness is such an interesting trait and one that is frequently tossed around under the wrong circumstances.
I’ve met countless people who have misread abundance for kindness.
There are men and women in the world who give ‘generously’ because what they have to give isn’t scarce.
It may be scarce to you but not to them.
True kindness and good character can be found in those who are willing to share regardless of how much they have in the first place.
For example, a beggar who is willing to share a few bucks with someone else is much kinder than a millionaire who does the same thing.
Kindness isn’t just about the generosity of wealth.
It extends to time, affection and understanding.
A girl who is kind with her thoughts, opinions, emotions and time is the type of girl every man would regret losing.
When you compare a giving person to someone who just wants to receive, it changes your entire perspective on kindness and relationships.
Related post: How to make a guy regret ghosting you
3. She is nurturing
Sometimes, I feel like we live in a society that shames women for wanting to be soft, gentle and loving.
There is great value in the ability to nurture.
In my culture, women are the ones that instill the importance of empathy and compassion into families.
We look for comfort in our women because so much of our life is consumed by being competitive and hard working.
When we think about our children, we want them to be raised by a woman/mother who is nurturing and teaches them the importance of expressing love and support in a soft, gentle, kind and comforting manner.
There is no reason to believe that nurturing women cannot be strong.
I think the mark of a truly great woman is one who can exercise strength and nurture whenever required.
In my younger years, I dated girls who were more on the rough side and it always left me craving more out of the relationship.
Nowadays, it’s one of the attributes I need and want in a partner.
If I’ve ever regretted losing a girl, it’s been a girl who was nurturing.
4. She is respectful
Without respect, you have nothing.
Love does not exist without respect and a woman who doesn’t respect a man will never give herself to him completely.
But, respect is a two-way street.
You need someone who is willing to be respectful.
Their default position should be to respect people.
A respectful woman is someone who doesn’t berate or insult her partner. She will consider his feelings when making decisions that may affect him and she will consider the boundaries within her relationship at all times.
Needless to say, in a healthy relationship, both parties should express respect in this manner.
I’ve never met a man who says that he regrets losing a disrespectful and harsh woman, have you?
5. She is agreeable
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve enjoyed my share of banter with girls, especially in my early 20s.
It was always fun and it was sexy to me.
I’m not someone who is easily offended so I didn’t see this as a problem.
But, it became a problem when banter turned into serious arguments about serious stuff down the road.
When the honeymoon phase ends and your relationship is tested legitimately, having a disagreeable partner who enjoys the drama of an argument doesn’t end well.
What you want is a partner who understands how to compromise with you.
Anytime things didn’t work out with a partner or girl who was agreeable, I regretted losing her.
Related post: Do avoidants regret breaking up?
6. She isn’t starved for attention
Not many things annoy me more than a woman who constantly needs validation from others to feel good about herself.
This type of person is someone who designs her life around social media attention.
You always find yourself competing for her attention with her phone and she’s readily entertaining other guys by throwing her up online.
It’s a headache to deal with.
Even if you’re a secure man, this stuff gets frustrating, especially when you’re trying to enjoy special moments with her and she needs to turn it into a photo shoot.
7. She is playful and fun
Life can be exhausting at times.
As men, there’s an expectation on us to meet certain expectations while fulfilling our responsibilities.
It’s a blessing when we encounter someone who adds joy and companionship instead of toxicity and drama.
Love thrives when it is nurtured with good experiences and emotions.
Having someone who makes you laugh and provides you with the freedom to be playful and childish at times can be a gift.
Men tend to regret losing a woman who can add this kind of dynamic to their life.
When I sit back and think about someone who may not be in my life anymore or who I’m not involved with romantically anymore, it’s those fun and playful memories that make me miss them.
8. She is supportive
Support is necessary for growth.
And in every healthy relationship, growth is the ultimate goal.
A couple that grows together, stays together.
Growth comes when you can be open and vulnerable around your partner. If you’re with someone who makes you feel understood and accepted, it gives you room to explore growth in different ways.
I’ve noticed that every man who wants to fill the role of a provider seeks out emotional support from their woman.
It’s empowering to a lot of men.
When a man is in a relationship with a supportive woman, he’s bound to regret losing her, especially when he craves that support again and doesn’t have it.
Related post: Why do breakups hit guys later?
9. She holds men to a higher standard
As much as this article has focused on all these attributes of a woman in a relationship, I would be remiss not to focus on the effect a woman has on a man’s life.
Men are, for the most part, ego-driven.
Some men make an effort to curb their ego but others struggle with this.
Impulsivity can rule their mind and they don’t make the best long-term decisions.
So, when you a get woman who comes along and holds their man to a higher standard, it has a great effect on his life.
There have been times when my previous partners would provide me with a wake-up call.
The reason why I value this so much is because I knew that these conversations and expectations stemmed from a place of good intentions for me.
They wanted me to succeed or they were worried about my well-being and felt it necessary to have an uncomfortable conversation with me.
At the time, I may not have been thrilled about it but whenever I reflected on what they said, it made me see a blind spot in my own behavior or life.
Not everyone has your best interest at heart.
When you cross paths with a woman who does, there’s a great degree of regret when you lose her because being with her made you a better man.
10. She listens and pays attention
Lately, I’ve been spending a ridiculous amount of time examining the reasons why most couples divorce or split up and an overwhelming number of them trace back to communication issues.
It always begins with small misunderstandings and slight disrespect in terms of communication and over time, it turns into the root cause of larger issues.
The reason why guys regret losing a girl who listens is because they often do not vet their partners correctly.
Guys can be such visual creatures that they mistake good looks and attraction as enough to maintain a healthy relationship.
Most of the time, they overlook character traits and end up with girls they find attractive who are just terrible at communication or boundaries.
When he has someone who actually cares to listen to him about his feelings, opinions, thoughts and needs, it feels incredible.
But, if he takes that for granted and loses that girl, he’ll quickly realize how difficult it can be in some cases to find someone who cares enough to listen to him.
Related post: How to be a good girlfriend
11. She doesn’t waste her time with low value men
If a man feels like a woman he’s with wouldn’t waste her time even entertaining the idea of low-value men, especially when she was single, two things occur.
He perceives her as a high-value woman and he ends up feeling like he got someone most men can’t have which also makes him feel more valuable as a man.
He understands that she’s not easy to come by and that being with her means something.
She’s not desperate for attention or simply settling to be with him.
Losing a girl who makes you feel special to have her in your life is bound to cause regret.
If you truly examine everything in this article, it should become abundantly clear to you that the quality of character and the impact a girl has on a guy’s life and heart create the most compelling reasons for him to regret losing her.
We spend so much time fixating on looking perfect and so forth that we lost sight of what truly matters.
A man who only loves you for the way you look is a man who doesn’t know how to love at all.
I’m not saying that it isn’t important for you to take care of yourself but it’s refining those beautiful feminine qualities and traits that matter more when it comes to leaving a true mark on a man’s heart.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on the kind of girl guys regret losing to be eye-opening and thought-provoking. If you would like personalized coaching on any relationship issue or on how to get a guy or girl back, head over to my Services Page for more information on how to get in contact with me.