6 Reasons To Stop Texting First


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If you’re trying to get someone to make an effort in the relationship or if you’re trying to build attraction, stop texting first. Believe it or not, texting first and too frequently can have a negative effect on your love life and friendships. For this reason, I’m going to share a list of reasons why you should stop texting first. 

You may not realize it but texting first and too often can make you look desperate and needy. This is not an attractive look for anyone. You don’t need to stop texting first altogether but there should be a healthy balance of effort from both people. 

Additionally, you shouldn’t be texting someone first when they are treating you disrespectfully.

Poor behavior should never be rewarded and you have to be firm on this. 

With that being said, I think it’s imperative that we look at all the reasons to stop texting first in more detail because it will absolutely save you from looking desperate, weak and needy over text. 

1. It makes you appear to be desperate

When you’re getting to know someone who you reached out to, it’s better to take things slow and to be patient to avoid looking desperate.

The urge to grab your phone, pull open their contact and text them is a desire that I understand all too well.

Those early days of getting to know someone you find attractive and like are truly special and exciting.

But, you don’t want to risk looking desperate by coming on too strong. For this reason, I encourage you to honestly assess the ratio of texts exchanged between the two of you to determine who is texting more.

If there isn’t equal effort, then you need to start dialing back the effort a little and stop texting first.

Related post: Do girls notice when you stop texting them?

2. You’ll find out who actually wants to text you

By withdrawing your effort or regular attention from someone, they will reach out or they won’t do anything at all.

In the former case, it proves that they actually care about texting you to some degree.

Whereas, the latter care implies that they actually don’t care all that much about keeping in contact with you. 

If you’re trying to determine between the two, this is a quick and simple test on how to determine who actually wants to text you.

By doing so, you can decide who deserves more of your time, affection and effort. 

Related post: Don’t text him and he will text you

3. It might come across as needy

Some people are all for that extra bit of effort and enjoy talking all the time whereas others value their time alone. 

But, in both cases, you don’t want to risk coming across as too needy because this can scare someone away.

Overly needy people can be overwhelming. It’s best to maintain some boundaries which is why it’s okay for you to stop texting first for a short while.

In return, when they text you, that’s how you know for certain that they want to talk. 

4. It gives someone a chance to miss you

I like to believe that you should give people the space they need to be themselves. As an added advantage, they may begin to miss you and this will improve attraction. 

What I know for certain is that it’s incredibly difficult to miss someone when they’re constantly texting or calling you.

It’s okay to not be texting all the time. They’re not going to forget about you. If they did, then they didn’t really care about you and investing in them would just be a waste of time.

Attraction and affection are nurtured in your presence and in your absence.

You need a healthy dose of both scenarios for romantic feelings to mature and heighten. 

Related post: What he thinks when you don’t text him back

5. You’re the only one making an effort

When you’re the only person making an effort to keep a friendship or relationship alive, it’s unfair to you.

Honestly speaking, you deserve to surround yourself with people who appreciate you and are willing to make an effort to nurture the bond and connection.

If you don’t make a change, you’ll always find yourself chasing after people who never truly give you the time of day.

You’ll always feel like the relationship or friendship is one-sided and it will drain you of all happiness.

For this reason, I think it’s better to back off for a while and monitor their level of effort. 

6. They’re rude to you or ignore your texts

By texting someone who treats you with disrespect, you are rewarding them for poor behavior. Instead of treating you better, they’ll take advantage of your kind nature and continue to treat you haphazardly.

It is your responsibility to draw the line for what is considered unacceptable behavior.

And if someone chooses to cross the line, there needs to be some form of consequence or they’ll do it again.

In this case, I would highly advise you to stop texting first because it’s devaluing your worth and rewards poor behavior. 

When they’re willing to treat you more respectfully, that’s when you can resume texting them first. Until then, they don’t deserve your effort. 

In conclusion

Being sociable is a really good character trait to possess and your willingness to make an effort to connect with others is something to be proud of.

But, not everyone you encounter will display the same level of willingness and effort that you are. 

It’s up to you to decide whether it’s worth your time and effort to be texting someone who doesn’t appreciate or respect you.

All I can say is that you deserve to be treated the way you treat others. Don’t settle for subpar behavior from others, even if it means that you need to stop texting first.

On the flip side, if you’re trying to get to know someone on a romantic level and you’re the pursuer, it might be a good idea to stop texting first all the time.

Give them the opportunity to make an effort in the courtship as well.

Additionally, by not texting first all the time, you can give them the time and space needed to miss you.

Attraction tends to develop in times of absence as well as in your presence.

A healthy balance will serve you well in relationships and friendships.

With that being said, I hope you found this article on the reasons to stop texting first to be insightful and eye-opening. Be sure to share your thoughts or questions in the comment section below.

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