We live in a time when distance isn’t that much of a factor in determining the viability of a relationship because of technology. It’s not all that uncommon for someone to find themselves starting a long distance relationship with someone you just met.
If I’m being brutally honest, I can remember starting a long distance relationship with my partner after the first meeting.
We felt a strong bond with each other along with a great deal of attraction.
Sure, we had been chatting and talking on the phone for about two months prior but looking back, I can say with certainty that starting a long distance relationship with someone you just met can be super romantic but not without its fair share of challenges.
I’m lucky enough to have gotten to meet my partner for a great deal of time since then and what we learned during that time is that there’s no shortcut for nurturing a wholesome and long lasting relationship.
Those early days of getting to know someone is like a fairytale.
All you’re really considering is how you feel and what you want, which is to be with each other but life is more complicated than that.
You can have all of the best intentions in the world but that does not prepare you for the amount of work that is required to develop and nurture a long distance relationship with someone you just met.
For us, covid had just taken off and we were forced into a hard lockdown that lasted months. We had met a few times prior to that but this brought about some challenges such as loneliness, uncertainty, anxiety and communication issues that worsened due to the inability to see each other indefinitely.
Since then, we’ve had some ups and downs like every other couple but in the end, we grew as a couple and as people. We learned a lot about commitment, communication and compromise during the last 2 years and I want to share some of these tips with you.
So, with that being said, if you’re starting a long distance relationship with someone you just met, here’s what you need to do in order to increase the chances of creating a relationship that lasts.
1. Establish some boundaries from the beginning
I know that you’re probably not thinking about boring things like boundaries and rules this early on in a relationship but it’s important for the longevity of your relationship.
Healthy boundaries are mutually agreed-upon rules on the limitations that apply to your relationship so that both of your needs are respected and valued.
Expressing these boundaries early on avoids unnecessary drama and issues from developing into something serious and damaging.
As much as your feelings are quite intense during this early phase, the relationship is still very new and the two of you haven’t had the time or experience together to form a solid foundation.
The last thing you need right now is avoidable problems that cause a rift in the relationship.
For this reason, it’s important to discuss what type of behavior makes the two of you uncomfortable and what behavior should be maintained to keep you both feeling happy and content with each other.
2. Have an end-goal in mind
If you’re entering a long distance relationship, it needs to be under the agreement that the distance will be put to an end eventually or that the two of you would be able to meet more regularly.
Granted, it may not be the best idea in the world to completely uproot your entire life to move right now when you barely know each other.
But, it’s something that should be discussed eventually or else your relationship really has no point to it.
If you don’t know when you’re going to see each other the next time or there are no plans of closing the distance, then one or both of you are going to feel frustrated, doubtful and afraid of going all-in with this relationship.
And remember, a goal is just a dream if it doesn’t have a deadline. Even a rough timeline would help the relationship develop in a healthy way.
In my relationship, we decided that it was important for us to try and meet every 3-4 weeks after taking into account our budget and schedule.
Since doing so, our relationship has grown and matured in a way that I couldn’t really imagine until now.
3. Communicate daily through different means
Normally, I encourage couples to remain calm and to focus on their own goals or careers regularly without having to text constantly every day.
This helps them to remain productive and happy by growing as individuals. Additionally, it builds anticipation for when they see each other for a date during the week.
However, long distance relationships require more effort in regards to daily communication via texts, calls and video calls.
You don’t have the luxury of seeing each other when the distance starts to create a desire to be together.
For this reason, it’s important to make communication a healthy part of your daily life.
This doesn’t mean that you have to be monotonous about it. You can still maintain excitement and thrill by communicating without a routine.
Random calls or texts to let your partner know that you’re missing them or wanting to hear their voice is sweet and romantic.
It will keep the spark alive and help the two of you navigate the distance without growing apart altogether.
4. Don’t entertain others during this time
Long distance relationships are awesome when you can see each other but they become really difficult when you are separated for an indefinite period of time.
The distance has a habit of creating doubt, uncertainty, fear and loneliness which can make you vulnerable in ways that you probably wouldn’t even consider a problem for you under normal circumstances.
For this reason, I plead with you to not entertain conversations or hangouts with others who clearly have a distinct interest in you.
This is one of those times when healthy boundaries are crucial for the survival of your long distance relationship.
Related posts: The 5 worst long distance relationship red flags
5. Give each other some space
I know that I literally just spoke about the need to communicate daily but too much communication can also be a problem for long distance couples.
No matter how attracted or in love you are with someone, over-communication can cause issues in the relationship by making your partner feel stifled and overwhelmed.
It also comes at the risk of making you appear to be too needy, codependent and clingy.
There’s no need to be texting your partner even 5 minutes throughout the day.
Take some time to work on your own goals, dreams and career.
Also, let him or her do the same thing.
When you’re not talking, that time creates an opportunity for your partner to start missing you even more and they’ll either reach out or feel extremely excited to text with or call you later on.
Additionally, you both will have more to share with each other during a good conversation later on in the day or night by simply giving each other a little space to focus on yourselves as individuals.
Related post: Give him space to make him miss you
6. Don’t get stuck in a routine and be spontaneous
Let me tell you something, routines are so comfortable and relaxing because they bring about a sense of stability but the side effect of this is boredom and predictability.
These side effects tend to affect attraction and interest in a relationship because it removes excitement from the discussion.
For this reason, I implore you to leave some room for spontaneity in your relationship.
- If you can afford to surprise your partner with a visit, absolutely do so!
- Call them up randomly and flirt with them when they least expect it.
- Send them flowers or chocolates even when there’s no occasion or reason to do so.
These little random but unexpected or unpredictable elements in a long distance relationship go a long way in keeping things fresh and intriguing.
Related post: How to make a girl happy
7. Don’t have unrealistic expectations
Honestly, this is something that I had to learn over time because I just kind of expected my partner to be on the same page as I was.
But, just because you expect things to be a certain way or to progress at a certain speed doesn’t mean that your partner can keep up with you and vice versa.
Neither you nor your partner can read each other’s minds and it takes some time before you develop a deeper understanding of how you both think since you’re in a new long distance relationship.
Taper your expectations accordingly.
Give your partner some freedom to show up in the relationship in a way that they can and slowly work with them to improve things in a way that makes both of you happy.
8. Be patient with each other during rough times
I wanted to save the most important tip for last and that is to be patient with each other and have a willingness to compromise.
The two of you are going to run into different challenges over time and sometimes your expectations or goals may not align.
Instead of using this as a reason to just butt heads and have drama in your relationship, opt to find a mutual understanding for how to work through these issues.
Being patient may require you to give him or her time to think.
It may also require you to also exercise some silence and a lack of judgment while your partner is expressing their feelings.
Additionally, you might have to set aside the goal of being right in an argument or fight and find a solution that benefits the relationship without compromising your values.
Trust me when I tell you that this will not be easy at first, especially if you’re starting a long distance relationship with someone you just met.
But, it may just prove to be worth it and the best thing you decide to do.
I know it seems like starting a long distance relationship with someone you just met isn’t a good idea but sometimes you have to set aside fear and just follow your heart.
But, in the same breath, that doesn’t give you a pass to just discard logic and reason from your decision.
It’s still possible to take things slowly once you start a relationship quickly. Make it a priority to spend more time with each other, communicate healthily and focus on nurturing the relationship through experiences, love and understanding for the foreseeable future.
By doing so, you may just end up being one of those lucky couples who make long distance relationships turn into lifelong love story.
With that being said, I really hope you found this article on starting a long distance relationship with someone you just met to be insightful and a source of guidance. If you have any questions or advice of your own to share, please do so by leaving a comment down below.
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