There’s nothing worse for your love life than an unhealthy and bad relationship. The problem most of us face is that we are unable to objectively analyze our relationships to determine if they’re good or not. So, in this article, I want to share the signs you’re in a bad relationship so that you can make the necessary changes needed to find happiness again.
Before we get into the crux of things, let’s take a quick look at the 15 signs you’re in a bad relationship which we will discuss below.
- You’re unhappy.
- You fight all the time with each other.
- There is no respect.
- Trust is continuously broken.
- You barely have any fun together.
- Your partner is inconsiderate.
- Your partner is controlling.
- You feel alone in your relationship.
- You don’t love each other anymore.
- You’re constantly criticized or insulted.
- Your partner doesn’t make an effort.
- You’re a victim of gaslighting.
- Your sex life has died.
- Your privacy is invaded.
- You desperately want to get away from your partner.
Okay, so now that you have a rough idea of what are the signs of a bad relationship, let’s analyze how each of them shows up in your relationship.
1. You’re unhappy
Nothing is more apparent that you’re in a bad relationship than perpetual unhappiness with your partner. Irrespective of what you say, do or think, you can’t help but feel detached, depressed and sad all the time.
There’s a difference between unhappiness caused by life circumstances and external forces than unhappiness with your relationship.
If everything is going well in your life and things are great except for when you are in your relationship, then it’s safe to assume that your relationship is the cause of this unhappiness.
At which point, you need to look at the relationship to determine whether it’s good or bad.
If it’s consumed by drama, trauma and problems, then it’s quite evident that this is one of the signs you’re in a bad relationship.
2. You fight all the time with each other
I think every relationship should have a healthy balance which means that you can’t avoid fighting from time to time.
A lack of fights should not be a measurement for a bad relationship however the opposite should.
Couples who absolutely cannot agree on anything and find a number of reasons to fight on a daily basis have either a communication or compatibility issue.
This may seem fun at first but it will quickly turn toxic because love cannot thrive in chaos.
3. There is no respect
Respect is at the forefront of every single relationship. Without respect, you have nothing and your partner will walk all over you without any remorse.
What I’ve come to realize is that people will only do to you what you allow them to do.
In other words, if you allow someone to hurt you repeatedly without standing up for yourself, they will lose respect for you.
Because you don’t respect yourself enough to stand up and hold them accountable for their actions. This doesn’t mean that you have to be toxic or abusive.
But, you have to draw a line for what is acceptable behavior.
So, how do you know if you’re in a bad relationship?
Look at your partner’s behavior and try to reconcile that with the idea of respect. If it isn’t respectful, then it’s one of the other signs you’re in a bad relationship.
Related post: 30 Signs he doesn’t love you anymore
4. Trust is continuously broken
Everyone makes mistakes and chances are such, some trust may be damaged in a relationship but if you’re with a good person in a good relationship, it can be repaired and built anew.
The problem is when you’re dealing with someone who doesn’t give a damn about trust and just wants to prioritize their own self over the relationship at all times.
That’s not fair.
That’s not a good thing to do.
We all are flawed human beings but if you have to constantly give your partner opportunities to prove their commitment towards you, it’s not a good sign.
They should WANT to be committed and trusted. If they have made mistakes, they should be trying on a regular basis to be the kind of partner who can be trusted.
If none of that is present in your relationship and your partner just has no remorse for breaking your trust, it’s a bad relationship.
5. You barely have any fun together
Here’s the thing – Some people get together because they’re in love and attracted to each other while others get into a relationship because they’re afraid of being alone.
The former may go through bouts of boredom with each other but they’ll always bounce back once a real and honest conversation happens and they both agree to work on the relationship.
The latter will often get worse and worse until the relationship completely crumbles and turns into a boring disaster with no passion, attraction, love, laughter or excitement.
I’ve been in the former category and I’ve witnessed my own relationship start to regrow and thrive after some tough conversations.
Had we not been in a good relationship prior and if our intentions were not right, it wouldn’t have worked.
So, if your relationship has never been fun despite all your effort and your partner has no interest in that either, then it’s definitely a problem and a sign of a bad relationship.
This can be fixed even in the latter category but only if both people are on the same page.
6. Your partner is inconsiderate
One of the core elements of a good relationship is mutual care for each other’s well-being. To care is to consider. What does this mean? Well, it’s to think and deliberate about how someone feels or would feel in a particular situation.
Thereafter, it is to act in accordance with what you have considered.
Without this element in your relationship, what you will find is that your partner is highly selfish and never prioritizes your well-being.
In fact, you won’t even come to mind when they make decisions and this can come at the cost of your happiness and well-being.
If this is the case, then you’re in a bad relationship.
Don’t get me wrong, this does not apply to isolated and acute cases.
I’m talking about a relationship that always suffers damage by someone who is being selfish all the time.
Related post: 10 Signs someone is using you
7. Your partner is controlling
Every relationship has a power dynamic that should be fairly even.
Yes, you’ll always have one partner who is slightly more controlling than the other but never at the expense of their partner’s happiness.
But, when you’re dealing with a relationship that doesn’t allow you to think for yourself let alone make any decisions, then it’s cause for concern.
A controlling partner will try to isolate you, dictate what you think and watch your every move.
They will often break you down until you have no say in the relationship.
This is 100% one of the signs of a bad relationship and you need to make some changes as soon as possible.
Related post: Signs you’re in a controlling relationship
8. You feel alone in your relationship
The whole point of being with another person is to connect on an intimate, intellectual and emotional level to share your life with each other.
Not being heard or understood can be extremely devastating to someone.
It’s like having the freedom to explore the world but being chained to the floor. You can see everything but experience none of it.
Loneliness in a relationship can be remedied so long as your partner wants to make a change and be better. If not, then you’re in a bad relationship.
9. You don’t love each other anymore
Without love, what’s the point of being in a relationship at all? You can experience most of the problems in this list but still have a relationship worth fighting for if there’s love.
But, if you don’t care or love your partner anymore and neither do they, then it’s a problem.
The relationship has turned bad.
If there’s hope, you’ll be able to find your way back to each other. If not, you’ll drift apart and neither of you would be willing to change that.
This is one of those signs you’re in a bad relationship and also the wrong relationship.
Related post: 15 Signs she doesn’t love you anymore
10. You’re constantly criticized or insulted
A healthy and good relationship helps two people grow as individuals. It’s a safe space to openly be your true self without judgment or ridicule.
Yes, you’re not perfect.
But, that should not be grounds for being criticized and insulted.
In fact, if your partner doesn’t love you for the person that you are and are always looking for faults to complain about, then you’re in a toxic relationship or with a bad partner.
Either way, it’s a bad relationship!
11. Your partner doesn’t make an effort
A relationship can turn bad when one partner abandons their responsibilities and makes no effort to be loving, caring, honest, committed and respectful.
What usually happens in this kind of relationship is that you constantly invest and chase after your partner while they do nothing.
You end up feeling unappreciated which in turn, makes you unhappy and miserable. You’ll lash out or try to make your partner see reason but they won’t care to make an effort.
At this point, you’ll become resentful.
At that point, your relationship will transition from a bad one to a toxic one.
12. You’re a victim of gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation wherein someone tries to deceive and trick you into believing that you can’t trust your senses and perception of events.
Rather than take ownership of their mistakes, your partner will manipulate you into believing that you interpreted events incorrectly and that you are crazy.
This can break you down as a person and cause a ton of trauma.
Nothing ever truly gets resolved and your partner starts to gain more power and control over you as doubts and insecurity ravish through your heart.
When you stop trusting yourself, that’s when things turn ugly.
In my opinion, this is one of the worst signs you’re in a bad relationship.
13. Your sex life has died
Intimacy is a crucial part of a healthy relationship. Whether it be physical or emotional, it should be a factor that is nurtured and treated with care.
When your sex life dies, there’s a problem in the relationship. It cannot be avoided or explained away.
Of course, health issues are the exception but even that may lead to issues.
A healthy relationship cannot thrive without intimacy, especially in marriage.
In my opinion, everyone has the right to a sex life in their serious relationships.
If you’re being deprived of your needs being met, this is a bad relationship for you.
14. Your privacy is invaded
Remember when I said that trust is crucial in a good relationship, well one of the signs that trust is lacking is when your partner invades your privacy.
Snooping through your phone, checking your personal belongings, hacking your email or social network accounts and so forth are all an invasion of privacy that is in keeping with a bad relationship.
Whether your partner is highly insecure, jealous, controlling or possessive, it doesn’t negate the fact that this is bad and unhealthy.
15. You desperately want to get away from your partner
When your thoughts are consumed by the fantasy of escaping your partner and you can’t even stand the sight of them, then that’s how you know you’re in a bad relationship.
Nobody should ever consistently feel this way about their partner, especially if there are no extenuating circumstances at play.
Avoiding your partner at all costs is probably a sign that you should be avoiding this relationship.
This may be one of the last signs you’re in a bad relationship but it’s usually the one that precedes a breakup.
Related post: How to help someone who got out of a toxic relationship
Being in a bad relationship isn’t something that you deserve. Not by any means.
But, the only way to actually make some changes to your relationship or life is to be aware of what isn’t working.
I’m hoping that you approached this list with an open mind and you now have some clarity on how you feel about the relationship.
With that being said, please head over to the comment section below and share some of your thoughts or questions on the signs you’re in a bad relationship.