In a romantic relationship, love should be given freely and uninhibited by barriers. If it isn’t, the relationship is doomed to suffer. This article intends to educate you on the signs you’re begging for love so that you can address the problems in your relationship or find the type of relationship that is better suited for you.
Two people should enter a relationship with the intention of loving each other. But what does that actually mean?
In my experience, to love means to be of service to the person you care about. When two people commit themselves to being of service to each other, that is when the relationship thrives and blooms into something long-lasting.
Logically, most of us understand the importance of being secure and not begging for love.
But when our partners withhold love from us, we may react emotionally rather than logically, even at the expense of our own well-being.
Related article: 12 Traits of a long-lasting marriage
13 Signs You Are Begging For Love
1. Seeking validation
There is a natural desire to seek validation from the ones we care about.
But when there’s an incessant and frequent need for validation to quell anxiety and uncertainty about the relationship, it can easily be perceived as a sign you’re begging for love.
Healthy relationships provide security, not uncertainty.
Related article: 15 Signs of feeling neglected in a relationship
2. Ignoring boundaries
Driven by insecurity and other fearful emotions, desperation may influence you to act contrary to the boundaries established in your relationship.
This may include invading someone’s personal space or applying pressure to them to express their emotions when they are unwilling to.
Related article: 7 Reasons why you get attached so easily
The need for validation, coupled with a desire to earn love, may manifest itself in extreme acts of service.
In hopes of saving the relationship, one may feel inclined towards making more sacrifices and efforts to make up for the lack of effort displayed by the other person.
Doing too much is one of the reasons most courtships fail to develop into a relationship.
4. Overanalyzing interactions
Rumination and excessive thinking about someone you love and the interactions you have with them may be symptoms of anxiety and stress.
This manifestation of insecurity and anxiety may stem from a lack of love being displayed by the other person and excessive investment on your part.
5. Fearing abandonment
Constantly worrying about being left or abandoned may be triggered when you are begging for love because there’s an underlying issue that is threatening your safety within the relationship.
Desperation is closely linked to fear, which is why it may feel overwhelming at times.
Related article: 8 Reasons why people stay in bad marriages
6. Inability to say no
When you experience extreme difficulty asserting your own preferences or boundaries out of fear, it stems from fear that it will jeopardize the love you receive. You may go along with anything and everything other people want at the cost of your own dignity.
Seeking validation to this degree is a clear sign you’re begging for love.
7. Pleading for a chance
Are you vocally begging for love?
Negotiating and pleading for acceptance can be masked as grand declarations of admiration and love.
One should not have to repeatedly convince someone to love them.
8. Excessive sacrifices
People who are desperate for love beg for it with a willingness to do anything for it, even if that means sacrificing themselves.
This is unhealthy because it is an attempt to fill the void of self-love with the validation of being loved by someone else.
9. Constant communication
Excessive texting, calls, and declarations of undying love without much reciprocation from the other person can easily be perceived as a desperate plea for love.
Healthy reciprocation of love is not unlike a game of tennis.
Related article: How to stop being obsessed with your partner
10. Aversion to conflict
Every healthy relationship goes through bouts of disagreements and misunderstandings.
This is an essential experience that helps people develop critical problem-solving and communication skills.
Avoiding all conflict out of fear of being left or abandoned is an inactive form of begging for love.
11. Constant apologies
Once again, approval-seeking behavior that manifests in extreme forms of action often leads to begging, even in an indirect manner.
I used to fall victim to this behavior in my own life. I’d shoulder responsibility for mishaps that were not mine to bear.
Worst of all, I’d apologize when it was I who should have been apologized to.
I didn’t believe that I was worthy of love, and unnecessary apologies were my way of begging for it.
12. Concealing your true self
If we examine the act of begging, one could describe it as the dismissal of pride, ego, respect, and dignity in exchange for something.
It is a behavior that stems from a lack of power or resourcefulness.
Wouldn’t you also agree that pretending to be someone you’re not or inhibiting the true essence of your personality is an abandonment of respect and dignity? Would any person with high self-esteem and dignity partake in this behavior for love?
No, they wouldn’t.
If you find yourself pretending to be different than you are, you’re actually begging for love.
Related article: The reasons why self-esteem is important for relationships
13. Paying for love
Love shouldn’t be contingent on an exchange of money or material goods.
If you carry an expectation to constantly buy gifts and pay for bills with the threat of love being withheld upon your failure to do so, then you are absolutely begging for love with money.
That brings us to the end of this article on the signs you’re begging for love. I hope that you address these issues, develop a deeper sense of self-worth, and find someone who chooses to love you.