While single, there’s a misconception in our minds that the hardest phase of our romantic life is when we are looking for the right person. But, in reality, it’s when we are comfortable in a relationship and things suddenly turn sour that we suffer the most. In this article, I want to share some of the signs your boyfriend is losing interest through text so that you can turn things around and possibly save your relationship.
Prevention is better than cure and it’s a lot easier to save a relationship than it is to reattract an ex.
I will hold this position for life.
But, at the same time, I would be remiss not to mention that dwindling interest is probably the first phase towards the end of what may have once been a beautiful relationship.
It’s weird because some of the behaviors that can result in a loss of interest appear to be counterintuitive.
We assume that being extra loving and available is a good thing but in overabundance, they can actually have a bad effect on our partner’s desire and interest in the relationship and us.
Before you can implement strategies to improve your partner’s interest and save your relationship, it is important to identify when the relationship is in danger. So, I advise you to study this list regularly so that you are always prepared to spot a potential issue when it arises.
You need to read this article: How to make my boyfriend miss me
Signs He’s Losing Interest Over Text
1. He takes many hours to reply to you nowadays
Men who are goal driven and pursuing their purpose in life don’t have time to text all day long but they will make time to communicate with their girlfriends.
There may be times when he is busier than usual but his texting habits should always return back to normal.
When a man starts to text you less and the time between each text is growing by the day, that’s an issue.
What you need to look out for is a lack of explanation.
Now, you don’t have to lash out at him and interrogate him about why he’s taking longer to text you.
There’s a way of going about it that isn’t going to make you look clingy and insecure.
Simply let him know that you’re missing him and would love to hear from him a bit more often. Then, observe what he says and whether he makes any changes at all.
If he seems unaffected by your request, brushes you off, doesn’t provide any explanation for why he hasn’t been around as much and doesn’t change his behavior over the next couple of days or weeks, then it’s more likely that this is a sign your boyfriend is losing interest through text.
I’m a busy man and yet I still manage to text people.
Everyone has time to reply to one important text message from important people.
Anyone who says otherwise is selling a sad story.
You need to read this article: He seems interested in person but not over text
2. His texts are shorter
It is true that once the courtship and honeymoon phase is over, people tend to text each other less.
The difference isn’t astronomical or enough to make you feel insecure and extremely bothered.
Shorter texts do not automatically mean that he is losing interest in you unless the quality of his texts diminishes as well.
So, if you’re getting one-word answers to long essays or questions, that’s a problem, especially when you’re trying to open up to him, discuss something important or create opportunities for him to plan dates.
Observe his texting habits over the next couple of days and decide whether this is just a passing phase or if he’s actually losing interest.
It may not be a big problem though, especially if you are trying to text all the time.
A healthy amount of distance is healthy for any relationship.
Perhaps, the only thing shorter texts signify is a need for some distance so that your partner can miss you and vice versa.
A slight adjustment to your texting habits could fix this issue altogether.
3. He seems distracted and disinterested
As mentioned above, singular events of distraction and disinterest are normal in any relationship, especially when a man is consumed by his work or problems.
These are usually passing events.
In other words, they’re temporary and something that shouldn’t last for more than a day or two, perhaps a week at most.
Distracted and disinterested texts become an issue when it continues to remain this way for weeks, he doesn’t seem to play along to your attempt to be flirtatious or romantic and doesn’t seem to be showing any enthusiasm to go on dates.
In this situation, his disinterest on text is a symptom of disinterest in the relationship and it is certainly one of the signs your boyfriend is losing interest through text.
You need to read this article: What does it mean if he hasn’t replied in 3 hours?
4. He’s online all the time but not texting you
Why would a man be online all the time but not texting his girlfriend? Who could he be talking to?
These are important questions to answer, especially if this behavior is new.
One could make the argument that perhaps he’s busy online communicating with customers or other businesses during the day.
Okay, that’s plausible.
But, what about at night?
Is he online at night but not texting you much?
That’s an issue because which man is sitting on his phone at night texting about business?
It’s uncommon and it’s more likely that he could be texting with someone else.
I hate jumping to conclusions but this is a common sign of someone who is losing interest in their girlfriend and possibly on the path to cheating.
You need to read this article: Here’s why he’s online but not texting you
5. He no longer initiates conversations
People are creatures of habit, especially in relationships.
One of the most common problems women across the world have with men is that very thing.
They get annoyed and frustrated at how regimented and habitual their men become in relationships.
A positive change in behavior is a great thing.
When a man wakes up and decides to court you again, to lead the relationship, to get on his grind, to not sit on his phone texting all day but spending quality time with you in person, that’s great.
But, when he suddenly stops initiating conversations and doesn’t do any of the above, then that’s a problem.
There are only three possibilities in my books.
- He’s getting lazy and expects you to initiate all conversations.
- He’s losing interest in you.
- He’s talking to someone else.
The reason why I didn’t include being busy on this list is because busy periods that prevent someone from even initiating a conversation with their partner are temporary.
If this is a new and ongoing development in your relationship, it’s more likely one of the above reasons and a possible sign your boyfriend is losing interest through text.
You need to read this article: What does it mean when he starts texting less?
6. His replies are close-ended
One of the most common problems I encounter with men is that they spend too much time texting when they’re in love or infatuated with a girl.
They can’t control their desire to constantly be in contact with their girlfriend.
Then, there are guys who understand how to have a healthy relationship and they balance communication with space almost perfectly.
When they do have conversations with their girlfriends, they are dialed in and give them all their attention.
That’s fantastic and not a problem.
Perhaps, when they’re busy, their replies are shorter and more close-ended but it’s always followed with quality time and conversations.
When all of a man’s replies are close-ended for an extended period of time, he’s either upset with you or losing interest.
7. He no longer compliments you
Look, I just want to emphasize that interest and attraction are not fixed. It’s rather flexible and changes throughout the duration of a relationship.
It grows and dips but the wave should continue upwards or in a straight line.
What becomes an issue is when interest and attraction take a consistent dip without coming back up again for an extended period of time.
Having an off couple of days is normal but when it’s consistently diminishing over weeks, then that’s a bad sign.
Granted, some men are not very flowery with their words and that’s okay.
Action does speak louder than words in a lot of relationships.
But, if compliments and verbal adoration were a part of the courtship and the early parts of your relationship, then it’s weird for them to suddenly stop.
Either he’s lazy or he’s losing interest and that’s neither are a good thing because people are meant to enter a relationship with the intention to give love.
8. He ignores your texts
Nothing is more of a clear sign that your boyfriend is losing interest through text than messages that go unread and ignored.
Forget taking ages to reply to you and waiting until you double or triple-text him.
I’m talking about him completely overlooking what you’re saying and having a conversation of his own.
Furthermore, a lack of explanations and flakey texts add a deeper layer of issues.
If you are struggling to piece together any justifiable and believable reason for why he keeps ignoring your texts and there’s a feeling of anxiety brewing in your chest, then it’s not a good sign and he’s losing interest for sure.
You need to read this article: What to do when your partner ignores you
9. He’s no longer transparent with you
The whole point of being in a relationship is to share your life and yourself with another person.
If not, why else are you in a relationship?
Are you in it to only gain some kind of benefit?
If so, then that’s indicative of low interest and a lack of love.
I’ve noticed a correlation between people who are on the way out of a relationship and a lack of transparency.
They no longer open up and share themselves because they’re preparing to sever the bonds.
In fact, they become highly selective about what they share with you.
Some days they’re transparent (usually when they’re in doubt about leaving or feeling guilty) and other days they go back to pulling away and closing up.
This is not normal behavior from a man who has been in a relationship for some time.
Couples who got divorced often remark about how drifting apart was one of the overlooked signs of problems in their relationship. One or both partners began to separate themselves from their shared life.
10. He dismisses you
When a man really cares about his girlfriend and is truly locked into the relationship, his interest in how you feel will be clearly visible.
When you want to talk about your feelings, issues, thoughts and opinions, he’ll listen and communicate with you.
He may even argue and butt heads with you but even that is representative of an investment of emotions.
The problem of low interest arises when he seems completely unbothered by your feelings.
In other words, when you are upset about something or need to talk to him, he’s unbothered and dismissive of you.
When you’re trying to work on something that ought to be important for the relationship, he’s disengaged and unenthusiastic in his replies.
That’s not the texting behavior of a boyfriend with high interest in his partner and in his relationship.
11. He texts you when he needs something
As I’ve mentioned earlier, a relationship is built on a mutual desire to give ourselves to each other.
When that balance shifts, the relationship suffers or one partner suffers.
If you find that he no longer texts you about anything except for what he needs, for favors, to escape boredom and to use you for intimacy, then it’s an issue.
He’s clearly losing interest in you because he’s completely interested in serving himself, not you or the relationship.
12. He doesn’t include you in discussions about his plans
Correct me if I’m wrong but as a woman, you want to feel included in your man’s life.
What makes you feel important is having your opinion and feelings validated in regard to certain things happening in his life.
Even if he were to choose something different, you’d at least like for him to text you about it and discuss it with you so that it feels as if he cares about what you think and feel.
When a man begins to lose interest, he also tends to tap out of wanting your input in his life or plans.
He’ll make big and small decisions without even including you in the discussion.
Sometimes, you find out about stuff because he posted about it on social media instead of sharing it directly with you.
That is clearly a sign he’s losing or lost interest in the relationship.
You need to read this article: Should you double text a guy if he hasn’t replied?
13. He doesn’t confide in you
Building on what we discussed above, I think it’s safe to say that a romantic partner becomes your number-one confidante in life.
After all, this is supposed to be your life partner who you share everything with.
I’m sure at one point, that’s exactly what he did.
It should remain that way unless a man has lost interest, is confiding in someone else, is afraid of being judged by you or doesn’t trust you.
All of these possible explanations still amount to problems that need to be addressed.
But, when he stops confiding in you, that usually becomes a bold sign that there’s a break in the bond between the two of you.
It’s ironic that a loss of interest presents itself in communication issues and yet, the very first step one should take is to communicate through these issues to determine what’s causing them.
So, the first thing you should do is have a decent, non-confrontational conversation with him about how he’s feeling and why he seems distant.
Let him know that you miss him and would just love to be closer to him.
The reason why I advise you to begin with this step is because it may be drastic to jump to any conclusions without having a conversation first.
If you are two people who are truly committed to loving each other through good and bad times, having a conversation about problems is crucial.
Then, make necessary changes to remedy whatever the root cause of this issue.
If the root cause happens to be that you are being too loving, too available, too easy and too clingy, then the best thing you can do is gradually back off without being bitter about it.
In other words, try your very best to get busy with other things in your life so that you aren’t just sitting around talking or texting him all the time.
You may not even need to announce to him that you are doing this.
Just slow down and match his energy without being rude or bitter about it.
More often than not, this will land both of you back into a balanced relationship with mutual interest levels.
But, if there’s someone else in the picture, this space is going to give you the distance and time needed to catch him out.
With that being said, I hope this article on the signs your boyfriend is losing interest through text helps you to save your relationship and reattract him. If you would like my help, I offer email coaching. Click here to visit my service pages to get in contact with me.