5 Signs The No Contact Rule Is Working


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If you’re trying to win back an ex or move on from a breakup, the no contact rule is the best tool for the job. Let’s assume that you’re doing it and now you’re wondering, what are some of the top signs the no contact rule is working?

The following 5 signs are the most credible signs the no contact rule is working:

  1. Your ex reaches out to you.
  2. You no longer think about your ex all the time.
  3. You’re not feeling heartbroken anymore.
  4. Your ex is miserable.
  5. Your ex is talking about you to others.

If any of the above-mentioned signs are noticeable, then you can rest easy knowing that no contact is working for you!

That’s terrific news.

Your hard work is paying off and you should continue to be persevere!

With that being said, let’s breakdown in detail each of the signs the no contact rule is working.

1. Your ex reaches out to you

Proceeding a breakup, it can be expected that one or both parties may not want to keep in contact.

This is particularly true when the breakup was not amicable, caused by some form of betrayal or when one of the parties was just dumped unexpectedly.

In the case of being dumped, it is highly beneficial for the dumper to walk away and initiate no contact.

This is the most effective tool to gain back some control and power at the disposal of the dumper.

It prevents you from looking weak, desperate or needy.

If after some time, your ex reaches out to you by message or call, we can take that as a definite sign that they are becoming uncertain of their decision to end the relationship.

This is probably one of the most common signs the no contact rule is working.

2. You no longer think about your ex all the time

The no contact rule is designed to achieve two things, to help you get an ex back or to move on from a breakup.

In the time that you are unable to get an ex back, the second effect/result of no contact comes into being.

By jumping head first into your new relationship status (singleness), it speeds up the process of dealing with the sudden change in your life.

Rather than avoiding your feelings, it pushes you to deal with all the emotions attached to a breakup.

And one of the overlooked signs the no contact rule is working is that you are able to transfer focus onto other areas of life.

Related post: Why can’t I get a girl out of my head

3. You’re not feeling heartbroken anymore

Immediately after a breakup, you may find yourself unable to think about anything or anyone other than your ex.

This, in turn, keeps you stuck in a loop of feelings caused by the breakup, such as depression, sadness, separation anxiety and heartbreak.

These feelings are hard to navigate at first and can encourage you to act in ways that are considered desperate, needy, creepy, clingy and stalker-like.

This is why no contact is so effective for someone who is having a hard time accepting the end of a relationship.

It prevents you from acting impulsively or rashly on those overwhelming feelings.

The longer you stay in no contact, the better you become at emotional self control.

In effect, this improvement of emotional control provides you with mental clarity which can ease a wounded heart.

As time goes on, each day starts to feel less like the previous. You may begin to desire new experiences and moments of happiness start to infect your soul.

That’s when you know for certain that no contact is working.

Related post: How it feels to be in no contact

4. Your ex is miserable

Most of the time, the dumper is under the impression that he or she can find someone better after dumping you. When that doesn’t happen, it’s upsetting.

They may begin to reflect on the past, dabble in feelings of nostalgia and face the consequences for their actions.

Naturally, this makes them feel miserable and sad.

Whether they can’t find someone better than you or they’re facing a ton of rejection, it’s going to have a profound effect on their perception of you.

Because you aren’t around to provide them with the comfort of a backup, they will spiral out of control and eventually, try to get your attention.

Related post: Will my ex come back after no contact?

5. Your ex is talking about you to others

You may hear from mutual friends that your ex is asking seemingly innocent questions about you. That curiosity shouldn’t be overestimated nor should it be ignored.

It’s actually a sign the no contact rule is working.

Your ex is curious about you. They want to find out whether you’re falling apart or moving on.

The former provides them with a sense of relief and comfort knowing that you are still hung upon them.

The latter makes them feel confused and fearful of loss.

This is why you should avoid spewing your guts to friends who may share all this information with your ex.

If he or she gets affirmation of nothing, the curiosity bug will infect them to the point of reaching out to you.

Other signs of the no contact rule working

The signs mentioned above are usually the most prominent signs of the no contact rule working but there are other supplementary signs which can be interpreted in a positive way.

For instance, if your ex unblocks you on social networking platform after you initiate no contact. This can be interpreted to mean that your ex is started to ease up on their stance of cutting you off.

When your ex comments or likes all of your social media, this could be seen as a ploy for getting your attention.

I wouldn’t read too much into it nor would I encourage you to interact with them on social media unless they initiate direct contact.

Your ex may start to wish you during the festive season and special occasions. (It wouldn’t be far fetched to imagine that your ex is thinking about the time you spent together during festive occasions).

Related post: Should you send your ex holiday greetings?

Perhaps your ex reaches out under the pretense of inquiring whether you still have an item he or she may have left at your place.

If you know this to be untrue, then it could be seen as your ex trying to gage how you are and what you’ve been up to.

To conclude, it is important that you maintain no contact for an indefinite period of time otherwise you risk taking action too soon and undoing all the progress you’ve made.

If your goal is to move on completely, never initiate or reply to your ex in the future. If you wish to be reconciled or have your ex be part of your life in some capacity, then when they reach out, keep it brief and positive.

The only time you should meet an ex is if they bring up seeing you or if they out right claim to have made a mistake by breaking up.

With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article. Please share your experiences with the no contact rule in the comment section below.

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