10 Signs She Knows She Messed Up


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As guys, we tend to joke about the cliche that we are not very attuned to the subtle signs from a woman in regards to how she feels. That’s why I want to share my insights on what I know as the signs she knows she messed up.

At some point or the other, she’s going to mess up or upset you in some way and it’s only natural to wonder whether she knows it and is remorseful.

Much like us guys, ego, shame, pride and fear are factors that can influence anyone’s behavior, even when they are in the wrong.

It may even prevent them from acknowledging their failure or poor behavior at first. Eventually, most people come around to it and take responsibility but I understand that you’re looking for some kind of answer right now.

So, let us skim over the list of signs she knows she messed up followed by a deeper analysis of these signs.

  1. She can’t meet your eyes or hold eye contact.
  2. She avoids you or the conversation.
  3. She’s being extremely nice to you.
  4. She tries to explain herself to you.
  5. She takes responsibility for her actions.
  6. She can’t stop apologizing to you.
  7. She uses grand gestures as a way of making up with you.
  8. She cries about it.
  9. She gets defensive.
  10. She compromises.

With that being said, let’s analyze and describe in detail these signs she knows she messed up.

1. She can’t meet your eyes or hold eye contact

One of the most telltale signs she knows she messed up is when she can’t hold your gaze or even meet your eyes.

This is a form of avoidance stemming from the fear of having to acknowledge one’s mistakes.

Body language is one of those subtle languages that can reveal a ton of information about someone’s state of being and emotions.

Given that she can’t look at you after doing something wrong or making a mistake tells you that she knows she messed up and is either ashamed, afraid or avoidant. 

2. She avoids you or the conversation

Avoiding eye contact is one thing but going out of her way to avoid you altogether is an obvious sign she knows she messed up.

Most people tend to stand their ground when they feel like they haven’t done anything wrong.

They may not approach you or bring up the conversation but they certainly would not avoid you if you showed up to talk to them.

This is not the case when she knows she messed up.

She’d run for the hills until she feels ready to communicate about it or she’d wait for you to cool down before having the conversation. 

Related post: Why is she being distant all of a sudden?

3. She’s being extremely nice to you

If you find that she’s being too nice and is acting as if you’re the salt of the earth, then this is her way of making it up to you after she messed up.

Usually, this behavior stems from a state of guilt and regret. And so, to make it up to you, she decides to treat you with a lot of care and consideration. 

In essence, she wants you to feel better and to feel like she acknowledges her mistake by being extra sweet and nice to you.

It’s a simple but effective way of making amends and accepting that there is cause for you being upset with her.

But, instead of focusing on being defensive, she’s directing her energy towards making up for her mistake or behavior. 

Also, what leg do you have to stand on when you’re just in the wrong? 

Related post: What does it mean when a girl double texts you

4. She tries to explain herself to you

If someone was in denial, they would make excuses for their behavior and flat out reject the notion that they messed up.

Contrary to that behavior, someone who takes the time to share what their intention was during that time, it tells you that they understand that there’s a problem and they want to start ironing out the details to facilitate some kind of reconciliation. 

What you want to be wary of is if she makes up lies to explain away her behavior.

There’s a difference between an explanation and gaslighting. 

Be sure that she’s being honest and that what she’s saying makes sense. 

5. She takes responsibility for her actions

An explanation is an important sign she knows she messed up but it doesn’t count for much when there isn’t an acknowledgment of her role in creating this mess.

Taking responsibility for her role in making you upset requires her to set aside her ego or pride and admit to making a mistake, acknowledging how it made you feel and how she could have behaved differently.

If she does all of the above and is sincere, then you can be certain that she knows she messed up and is trying to grow from it by taking ownership of her behavior. 

Usually, a person who doesn’t acknowledge their behavior or doesn’t want to take responsibility for how they hurt you would just evade the situation or try to paint a picture where you are wrong for being upset. 

6. She can’t stop apologizing to you

Probably the most obvious and clear sign she knows she messed up is when she offers an apology for hurting you and messing up.

When it comes to an apology, the delivery and choice of words matter. Additionally, when and how it’s rendered makes a difference in the level of sincerity behind the apology.

Someone who is just apologizing because they got caught rather than because they’re truly remorseful needs to introspect on work on themselves. 

That kind of apology will not make you feel all that better.

Whereas a person who apologizes with sincerity, without being forced to and with emotion is someone who really cares about you and regrets their choices. 

What you may find is that she constantly apologizes to you over and over again even if you let it go and forgive her.

This is a telltale sign that she knows she messed up and that she genuinely wishes that she didn’t.

Related post: 18 Signs your ex regrets dumping you

7. She uses grand gestures as a way of making up with you

If a woman messes up in a big way and risks losing you, I’m willing to bet that she would go out of her way to make it up to you.

She may go so far as using grand gestures to win you back. 

If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you may find that she flies all the way to you in hopes of winning you back or making up for her mistake.

If she has the luxury of seeing you whenever she wants, she may go out of her way to put together a grand date for you two or she may write you a ton of letters or even get you something that you really like.

Apart from that, women also know how guys are more sexually driven than they are so I wouldn’t be all that surprised if she pulls out all the stops in that department to show you how much she wants you.

8. She cries about it

Women tend to be more emotional creatures than we guys and by that, I simply mean that they are more in tune with how they feel.

For this reason, she would start to cry and be overwhelmed by the situation.

This is definitely a sign she knows she messed up and now feels terrible about what she did.

In some cases, a woman may cry because she wants you to give her a pass for what she has done and to actually console her instead. 

Even though she’s using her tears as a tool for flipping the dynamic between the two of you at this moment, it still stems from an understanding that she knows she messed up and needs to do something about it. 

9. She gets defensive

Being taken to task for bad behavior isn’t something everyone can handle in their stride. In fact, some people cannot handle this at all and their defenses go up to protect their ego. 

Typically, women who tend to fall in this category resort to a defensive approach rather than a sorrowful or appeasing one.

By being defensive, she’s trying to avoid being vulnerable and so she won’t really admit to her mistake.

Instead, she’ll find every argument in the book to maintain an equal status during this time until you back down or get tired of arguing with her. 

It may not be healthy but being defensive can just be a sign that she knows she messed up but just isn’t willing to admit it.

This is even more apparent when her defensive reasoning is obviously silly and ludicrous but she still maintains her stance. 

10. She compromises

One of the last signs she knows she messed up is when she stops being stubborn and chooses to meet you halfway.

Perhaps before, she was being defensive or not willing to admit to her mistake but at this point, she realizes she’s wrong and decides to take some of the blame.

Alternatively, she compromises on something she knows you want that’s related to how she messed up in hopes of making it up to you.

Compromise is non-negotiable in a relationship and if she suddenly changes her tune on something that she strongly defended before, then it’s possible that she knows she messed up and wants to make a peace offering by compromising about something. 

Related post: How to be a better couple

In conclusion

It doesn’t matter whether you’re dealing with a man or woman, people tend to express themselves in very predictable ways and this list contains all of the different signs she knows she messed up.

What’s important to note is that most women will shell up and be complete avoidant if they feel like they’re being taken to task in a negative way.

Just because she messed up doesn’t mean that you should treat her poorly.

Be a mature adult and conduct yourself with dignity and self-respect.

You don’t have to be a walkover by any means but you should not use this as an excuse to lose yourself.

If you can do that, then I’m more than certain that the majority of women who genuinely care about you would be honest and would take responsibility for their actions.

They may not always vocalize it but their behavior will.

With that being said, I hope you found this article on the signs she knows she messed up to be insightful and helpful. Be sure to leave your questions or thoughts in the comment section below.

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