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18 Signs He Knows He Messed Up And Hurt You

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he messed up, signs he knows he messed up, signs he knows he hurt you, signs he regrets messing up

Guys seem like complicated creatures, am I right? At times, our behavior isn’t so cut and dry, especially when we do something wrong. It might be confusing to you ladies who are trying to decipher the meaning behind your man’s behavior. So, in today’s article, I’m going to shed some light on the signs he knows he messed up.

More often than not, a guy who messes up and risks losing you will apologize continuously, he’ll make promises to change and he’ll beg you for forgiveness. 

Those are the three most common signs but there are others that are more obscure which you probably won’t be able to notice unless you know what you’re looking for. 

There are three types of guys:

  1. Men who are driven by their ego.
  2. Men who are emotional creatures.
  3. Men who are extremely logical or emotionally reserved.

Depending on the type of man you are dating, he may exhibit any of the signs he knows he messed up that I’m going to share with you below. 

Usually, men who are emotional creatures are extremely open about their regret and they’ll be the ones who look and sound visibly sad, remorseful, upset and even desperate.

With that being said, let’s get straight into this article on the signs he knows he messed up. 

The Top Signs He Knows He Messed Up

signs he knows he messed up

1. He apologizes sincerely

You would think that an apology is a given but that’s not actually the case.

Some men will avoid the situation altogether and never apologize because they’re afraid to be humble or too immature to take responsibility.

However, a man who knows he messed up and actually cares about you will go out of his way to apologize.

A sincere apology comes from the heart. In his apology, he’ll be able to touch on how his behavior was wrong as well as how it hurt your feelings and disrespected you. 

With that being said, a sincere apology is one of the very first and most common signs he knows he messed up. 

2. He appears to be ashamed

One of the quickest ways to identify whether he knows he messed up is to observe whether he looks to be sad or bothered by his behavior.

Being visibly withdrawn, afraid to speak up, really disappointed and even quiet can be telltale signs he knows he messed up and feels ashamed of himself.

This is especially true for men who pride themselves on having a good moral compass and respectable character.

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By messing up, he has not only let you down but he has also let himself down. 

For this reason, he would be extremely ashamed of himself and you’ll really be able to tell by his body language, energy and choice of words. 

3. He’s remorseful

To be remorseful is to show regret or guilt for doing something wrong or hurtful.

Usually, a man who experiences remorse is one who can understand how you feel and doesn’t get defensive.

Instead, he channels his guilt and regrets towards growing and trying to make amends. 

You may notice that a remorseful man appears to be extremely sad, disheartened and upset by his own choice and decision in the matter. 

This is usually another telltale sign he knows he messed up.

Related post: Do guys regret losing a good girl?

4. He checks up on you

The only reason he would make an effort to text you often, call and try to see you is that he knows he messed up and you’re hurt or angry.

If you were upset for no reason, he wouldn’t be chasing you or putting in such a huge effort to make sure you’re okay because he didn’t do anything to you.

So, if you find that he keeps checking up on you, wants to know how you’re feeling and asks if you need anything, that’s definitely a sign he knows he messed up.

5. He makes changes to his behavior

What I can say with absolute certainty is that a guy who messes up and knows it will make every bit of effort to change.

He’ll actually pay heed to your words and start improving himself in the ways that you tried to point out.

He may even identify traits or habits that you didn’t even know of that he decides to change and fix because he knows he messed up.

A man who exerts this much effort into humbling himself and becoming a better person or partner is obviously someone who cares about you, understands he messed up and is trying to make long-lasting changes to prove that things will be different in the future. 

6. He asks mutual friends about you

Let’s say that you’ve cut him off for a while or needed some space from him to process your feelings.

What I can tell you is that a man who cares about you and knows he messed up will be a complete mess.

In his state of desperation, I’m willing to bet that he’ll reach out to mutual friends to find out how you’re doing, what you’re up to and how you feel about him.

Even if it may seem like something awkward to do and might require him to admit his flaws to someone else, he’ll do it because he misses and cares about you. 

7. He finds a way to contact you

Just because you decided to ignore or block him doesn’t mean that he’s not going to try and get in contact with you.

I’ve personally seen friends of mine get new numbers and use other people’s phones just to get in contact with someone they messed up with.

They’re so desperate to explain themselves and win you back that they are willing to do anything to get in contact with you.

This behavior falls completely into the category of men who know they messed up and just want a chance to make things right. 

Related post: If you cut him off, will he miss you?

8. He appears to be sad & depressed

Thankfully, not all issues have to lead to a breakup or separation from each other which means that the signs you’re looking for will be more subtle.

In this case, he may just seem more sad and depressed around you.

Whether he’s frowning or just moping around the place, these little changes in his behavior are a sign that he knows he messed up.

But, if things are more serious, he may be in a dark space and is neglecting his routine. He may seem completely zoned out, unable to focus on anything. 

Additionally, his social media activity may seize altogether or he posts content that seems depressing and sad. 

9. He won’t move on or date others

When you have unfinished business with someone and you’re plagued with regret for messing up, it’s really difficult to move on.

The guilt and regret will constantly play on your mind for a long time.

Coupled with the usual feelings of loss after a breakup, it becomes incredibly difficult for a guy to move on or date others because he’ll be constantly thinking about you. 

During this time, he doesn’t care about moving on, he just cares about getting you back and processing the consequences of his behavior. 

Related post: 8 Signs he regrets rejecting you

10. He buys you gifts

Some guys are not good at verbalizing their feelings and so they look for other means of showing you how sorry they are.

So, they resort to gifting you with things like flowers, chocolates or jewelry and so forth.

They aren’t necessarily trying to buy your forgiveness. 

They just want to do something to show you how much they care and want to make things right.

Those gifts are just a symbol of acknowledgment for their mistakes and poor behavior. 

11. He admits to being wrong & takes ownership

I’d like to maintain that a guy can say he’s sorry or buy you gifts but that would always leave you feeling underwhelmed by his effort because he isn’t taking responsibility for his actions.

Until you feel like you’re understood, it’s going to be difficult to completely forgive him for whatever he has done.

You may not feel like he knows exactly how he messed up and is just trying to avoid the situation.

However, when a man sets his pride and ego aside to take ownership of his actions by acknowledging what he has done, how it has made you feel and isn’t making excuses to justify poor behavior, that’s when he knows he messed up and is being sincere. 

Related post: Does he regret hurting me?

12. He’s in denial

While discussing this subject with my best friend who happens to be a psychologist, he mentioned that some people who commit bad acts are too stuck in their ways to ever admit their wrongdoings.

They would rather go to their deathbed ignorantly defending their actions and avoiding responsibility than face reality.

The more he tries to pretend as nothing has happened, the more likely it is that he knows he messed up but doesn’t have the guts to own up to it. 

13. He’s being overly positive and upbeat

The interesting thing about people who mess up is that they don’t always deal with their own emotions and thoughts expectedly or healthily.

They’re so afraid to face the reality that they put on a facade and pretend like everything is okay. 

You might find that he’s acting overly positive online and coming across as seemingly weird.

This false sense of optimism and positivity that follows a big mess up that causes a breakup or issue is usually nothing more than a coping mechanism.

What lies beneath the surface may be darker than you expect.  

14. He avoids the issue altogether

Not everyone is wired for confrontation and some truly struggle to deal with relationship issues caused by their own actions.

As such, these types of people suffer from conflict avoidance but in doing so, never actually get the core of a problem.

It’s as if their fight or flight response is activated but stuck on flight mode. Their natural inclination is to avoid a conflict or problem.

But, in doing so, it takes them much longer to solve a problem.

They completely withdraw from the situation and may even disappear for a while. 

It’s quite obvious that he knows he messed up if he disappears and doesn’t even reach out or act normal. 

Related post: 10 Reasons why he doesn’t call you

15. He begs you for forgiveness

From blowing up your phone with calls to texting you non-stop and begging for your forgiveness in person, this is undeniably a sign that he knows he messed up.

That level of desperation for your forgiveness is synonymous with regret and awareness of making a mistake. 

If he didn’t, he would be arguing with you right now, being in denial, avoiding you, or acting as if nothing has happened. 

16. He tries to get others to intervene on his behalf

When you close off the doors of communication and none of his attempts are successful, he may get a mutual friend or family member to intervene and speak on his behalf.

Even to get someone else involved means that he has to be willing to share what’s going on.

Based on their intervention, you’ll be able to tell whether he understands what went wrong and how he messed up.

Bear in mind, the fact that he went to someone else for help to speak with you is a sign that he knows he messed up and wants you back. 

17. He uses grand gestures to get you back

When all else fails and he feels like nothing he’s done so far has worked, he may resort to grand gestures that are romantic and thoughtful.

You’ll find that he may even step out of his comfort zone and set aside all his pride just to show you how much he loves and cares about you.

If this isn’t a sign that he knows he messed up, I don’t know what is! 

18. He won’t stop talking about it

Ever notice how someone who tries to make sense of something tends to talk about it over and over again.

Whether it’s with you or to others, he may view what happened and the consequences to have caused such turmoil that he can’t help but obsess over it. 

Even if he’s talking about it in the context of how it managed to help him grow as a person, it still shows that he knows he messed up. 

In Conclusion

I know that guys can be complicated at times and really closed off but I can assure you that the signs he knows he messed up discussed above cover the entire array of behavior that men display when they mess up and know it. 

In all honesty, you should be worried when a man you’ve been with messes up and barely shows any signs of worry, concern, desperation or remorse because that shows a lack of care and respect.

Be that as it may, I hope you found the answer you were looking for in this article on the signs he knows he messed up. Please share your thoughts or questions in the comment section below. I look forward to hearing from you!

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