You know that things are going well in your love life when the biggest question you have is whether or not your girlfriend should be your best friend. I have an interesting take on this subject and I’d like to share that with you.
Ideally, your girlfriend should be your best friend but not exclusively. What I mean by this is that you also need to maintain close or best friends with someone outside of your relationship who is not of the gender or sex that you are attracted to.
It’s such a good idea to be best friends with your girlfriend because romance cannot be maintained 24/7.
At times, you want to seek out counsel from your girlfriend or share your interests with her as you would with someone who is just your friend.
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Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Should Be Your Best Friend
You’ll always have your person to confide in
Life is and will always be a series of ups and downs.
We’re expected to go through these trials and tribulations and our own.
And yet, when you have a girlfriend who stands by your side and provides you with the motivation to push forward, that’s a beautiful gift and blessing.
Having a girlfriend who doubles as your best friend that you can open up to about things can be liberating.
That freedom of self-expression can do wonders for your self-esteem and confidence levels over time.
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Your relationship with be more dynamic
If you have plans of exploring a long-term relationship with your girlfriend that leads to marriage, it can be a great benefit to find friendship within each other.
You can maintain romance only. There has to be a variety of different feelings and modes of being to experience the joys of true partnership.
Be able to show different sides of yourself that are silly, playful, contemplative, mature, immature and so on.
It’s easier to tap into these sides of yourself when you lack the fear of judgment and abandon the need to be only admired romantically.
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You’d be surprised at how much fun you can have with a girlfriend who is also your best friend at times.
Your relationship will be more open and honest
From what I’ve experienced and noted about couples who are best friends, especially when they began as best friends, I noticed an increase in trust and intimacy.
There’s something deeply satisfying and comforting about having someone who you know deeply and who feels the same way about you.
It becomes incredibly easy to communicate needs and to serve each other because you find joy in nourishing the relationship and friendship.
Given that you also share the same valued or interests, there’s more for you to enjoy together.
Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Should Not Be Your Best Friend
It could potentially damage sexual desire
Part of what keeps a relationship healthy and exciting is desire and the unknown.
Not knowing Everything about your partner’s feelings or thoughts can create room for anticipation and desire to bubble over.
I am of the belief that this can diminish when your girlfriend is your best friend.
We start disclosing too much information about things that may turn off our girlfriend, we get lazy in the effort we make to be attractive and we start allowing complacency to rule our interactions.
When this happens, not only does your girlfriend lose some desire for you but the same happens to you.
Without balance and experience, you may begin to look at her more as your best friend rather than your partner and lover.
You risk turning your girlfriend into your own therapist
Having a girlfriend who is supportive and loving is amazing.
For the most part, women want you to open up and share your feelings with them.
But, when all you do is complain and cry about your life and problems, it can have an adverse reaction on attraction and romance.
At the end of the day, a healthy romantic relationship thrives on good experiences, joy, intimacy, romance and closeness.
There’s a lot of room for supporting each other but not as the default interaction all the time.
I like to believe that a man should be striving for self-sufficiency and strength. When things are not working, he should be able to exercise patience and perseverance.
Weakness is neither attractive nor endearing. Strive to be mentally and emotionally strong by finding coping mechanisms and solutions to your problems after you’ve sought support and comfort from your girlfriend.
And if you are in a perpetual state of sadness or depression, seek out professional help from a therapist.
Don’t rely solely on your girlfriend to be your emotional support center every single day. That’s too much of a burden for one person to carry.
There’s a quote that perfectly encapsulates the point I’m trying to make and it is as follows.
“I’ll take care of me for you and you take care of you for me.”
You may become codependent on your girlfriend
A risk of making your girlfriend your best friend is that she may end up filling every important shoe or role in your life.
As ‘romantic’ as this may sound, it’s not healthy nor is it fair.
The amount of energy and stress involved in being part of a codependent relationship can drive people into depression.
When you become codependent, fear controls your every move and thought.
You’ll fear the loss of your girlfriend and this will prevent you from living your best life and from being authentic.
You may adopt a boring nice-guy demeanor that eradicates attraction over time.
Knowing what I do now, I would avoid a codependent relationship for these reasons. I want to know that I can survive and manage without my girlfriend so that I can love her and be with her because I want to and not because I need to.
Here’s another quote that is relevant to this topic that I know you’ll like.
“Love in such a way that the other person feels free.”
You wouldn’t have a best friend to turn to during relationship conflict
I don’t know about you but I turn to my best friend whenever I’m having some kind of issue in my life, especially a relationship woe.
I’ve had different best friends over my life and I would consider my sibling to be a best friend too.
They’ve always been honest with me, supportive and also a source of comfort that has gotten me through some tough breakups over the years.
What happens if your girlfriend decides to end your relationship or cheats on you? Now, not only have you lost your lover but you’ve lost the person that you would ordinarily turn to, your best friend.
Some may argue that this is bordering on pessimistic but I think it’s quite realistic. The average person has been through at least one failed relationship.
The chances of losing a best friend through a breakup are more realistic than assuming that it’s something you won’t have to experience.
The one caveat to this is if you have a female best friend.
I would not advocate for this.
You’re better off being best friends with your girlfriend than seeking out that bond with another female.
Here’s another interesting and controversial belief that I stand by. Men and women can not be friends only.
Men are not becoming best friends with a woman he views as weird or off-putting. This means that on some level, she’s meeting his average base level of attraction at the very least.
So, I wouldn’t advise you to be best friends with a girl. I would also not advise or recommend girls being best friends with a guy.
Personally, I would simply not waste my time on a woman who has a guy best friend, especially if he’s single.
Related post: Can you have more than one best friend?
In Conclusion
Personally, I prefer having a best friend outside of my relationship because I need a buddy who I can be just friends with.
I need that guy friend who can hold me accountable at times, who can be a voice of reason for me and who can point out things that I may miss due to personal romantic feelings within my relationship.
I don’t want to consistently lose best friends each time a relationship doesn’t work.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on should your girlfriend be your best friend to be helpful. If you have any questions or thoughts that you would like to share with me, please do so by visiting the comment section below.