Texting has become a fundamental aspect of dating in this day and age but not without its fair share of problems and concerns. You may struggle to gauge someone’s level of interest from their texts when you lack experience or feel overwhelmed by desire or anxiety. To help with this, I want to share some interesting thoughts on the following question: should you text a guy if he hasn’t replied?
You should text a guy if he hasn’t replied when you are concerned for his wellbeing, you have upset him or you pushed him away by not making an effort in the past. These are the only instances that warrant a double text.
During the early phase of courtship, I tend to advise women against frequently double texting a guy to avoid coming across as desperate or needy.
What you want to judge is his level of interest. If the two of you have been communicating all the time for days and the romance has been boiling over, there’s really no issue with texting him if he hasn’t replied to you.
However, it is far more beneficial to maintain a standard of mutual texting effort to create healthy boundaries and expectations.
There will be times when you may find yourself initiating more texts and there may be times when he does.
What’s important is that the overall standard of communication is healthy and encourages a mutual distribution of texts between each other.
I know for a fact that a man who is genuinely interested in you or who really loves you will not be put off by you texting him if he hasn’t replied to you as yet.
Provided that you aren’t texting him to argue, bicker or fight, he would interpret this as you being caring and loving while desiring his attention.
Related post: Should I text my ex back or ignore him?
Why hasn’t he replied to your text?
To reduce anxiety and to gain more insight on whether or not you should text a guy if he hasn’t replied, you need to analyze his behavior and examine possible reasons why he hasn’t replied to your text.
There could be a number of normal and plausible reasons such as the following:
- He’s busy at work.
- He’s sleeping.
- He’s out with friends and family.
- His phone is on charge or he’s exercising.
- He’s dealing with a crisis or emergency.
- He’s driving.
- He’s working on something that requires all his attention.
Usually, there is absolutely nothing to worry about when a guy hasn’t replied to your texts due to any or all of these reasons.
Nobody is expected to reply to texts when they are busy in this way.
Most of the time, these reasons for not replying to you only last for a short while. You’re most likely to receive a reply within an hour or within the day.
In such an event, it’s not necessary to text him again for validation or affirmation that he still wants you or likes you.
Give him some time to get back to you.
If you build up the habit of double texting every time he doesn’t reply to you within a few minutes or within an hour because he’s busy with something, you’re going to drive him away by driving yourself into a territory of neediness and clinginess.
Neither of which is classified as attractive or healthy for relationships.
Of that entire list mentioned above, if he is dealing with a crisis or emergency, I think it’s a good idea to shoot him a text when you feel is appropriate even if he hasn’t replied.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with showing concern, he may even find it to be nurturing and loving which could make the two of you develop a closer bond.
Now, I want to add that there are instances when you should not text a guy if he hasn’t replied but I think it’s best we discuss that later on.
Related post: Why did he stop texting me?
How long should you wait before double texting him?
Typically, you should wait a day before double texting him unless the two of you have a habit of texting frequently throughout the day for a long time now and he suddenly hasn’t replied to you.
For someone you only know for a few weeks, it’s best to just give them a day to reply to your text before sending a double text.
Personally, I would examine my reasons for double texting someone.
If it stems from a place of desperation or anxiety, then that isn’t something I want to encourage within myself or to act on unless it has nothing to do with a desire for validation.
When you contact someone from a space of genuine desire to just connect with them and not out of fear, that’s usually when the courtship thrives and works provided that he is genuinely interested in you.
Related post: The art of double texting without looking desperate
When to stop texting a guy
I’ve learned that it is best to approach any interaction with self-respect and dignity to avoid being exploited, disregarded, disrespected or perceived as desperate.
Whenever you’re faced with the question of whether you should stop texting a guy, think about it from the perspective of a third party judging your behavior.
Would they view your habits and actions as that of a reasonable person who cares or would they look at you as someone who is discarding self-respect and dignity to chase after someone who may not be interested?
Think about it, most of us act contrary to the advice we give others. For this reason, it is best to approach your own situation as an outsider who is looking in.
This will force you to face reality and to be honest with yourself.
Now, with that being said, there are instances when you should not text a guy if he hasn’t replied and they are as follows:
- When he rejected you.
- When he ignores you.
- When he never initiates any contact with you.
- When he’s talking to other girls.
- When he treats you disrespectfully or abusively.
- When he appears to have no interest in you.
- When he has feelings for someone else.
None of these instances merit double texts from you. If anything, I would actually advise you to walk away from a guy who has done any of the above because you’re inviting a world of pain into your life.
Texting him more or chasing him will not suddenly spark desire or create interest in someone else if their minds and hearts are already made up regarding you.
Trust me, the last thing you want to do is create the impression that people can treat you poorly or reject you only to be rewarded with your effort and interest.
Ironically, not chasing him and not texting him may actually create interest!
Related post: Don’t text him and he will text you
I understand how anxiety-inducing it is to wait for someone you like and want to text you back and hours or days have passed.
When I was much younger, the stress and fear of loss would constantly influence me to reach out and chase people.
But, this never amounted to anything good in my life and I can’t even point out a single instance when this behavior actually worked to my advantage.
Ever since then, I’ve made it a priority to only approach situations like this from a place of confidence, peace and self-respect.
This has helped me tremendously in walking away from people who would just waste my time but it has also helped me to spend more time on people who actually have a high level of interest and desire to be around me.
Life can be much better if you stop chasing after the validation of those who are uninterested.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on should you text a guy if he hasn’t replied to be insightful and practical. If you have any questions or thoughts on this topic that you would like to share with me, please do so by visiting the comment section below.