When you’re in love, the desire to be around your partner all the time is overwhelming. You may want to sit on the phone all day talking or texting him. Every message creates an instant hit of dopamine and you feel a constant supply of love and attention. But, is it healthy? Does it have the potential to cause problems? All this will be answered below but for now, we need to answer the most important question, should you talk to your boyfriend everyday?
As much as it’s important to talk with your boyfriend regularly, there’s a good argument for the allocation of space to create feelings of longing and desire for each other. It’s a fact that you cannot miss someone who is always in your presence and is in constant contact with you. I think you should talk to your boyfriend everyday but with moderation.
While it may be difficult to not talk to each other everyday, you probably should avoid sitting on the phone with him all the time.
Measure the time between your texts.
Are you texting back and forth with him multiple times per hour or per day?
When you examine texting habits, it’s a lot easier to figure out a suitable amount of time to spend away from each other to encourage a healthy balance of space.
So, for example, if you text all day long, it would make more sense to step away from your phone for a handful of hours or until the night instead of not texting him for days.
If you were to stop talking to him for days, he’ll view this behavior as too abnormal and concerning.
Also, you shouldn’t avoid talking to your boyfriend just for the sake of making him miss you.
What I’ve realized is that you wouldn’t need to calculate a ratio for texting if you actually lived a busy, fulfilling and productive life.
You need to read this article: Should I text him first in the morning?
The Most Important Reason Why You Shouldn’t Be Talking To Your Boyfriend All The Time
In this day and age, most of us have the ability to pursue our goals and dreams.
In reality, there’s really no reason for you to be sitting around all day and texting your boyfriend or husband.
You should be taking care of yourself so that you can show up for him in the best possible way.
Similarly, he ought to be pursuing his purpose in life and working on himself so that he can show up to the relationship as a strong and loving man.
When you are invested in self development, time becomes your most valuable resource.
The question flips to how can you make more time to text your partner because you’ll be living a complete life with goals, ambitions and hobbies.
Often, when people email me with questions like this, I feel concerned because they all share certain similarities.
I notice a trend of codependency developing and an unsatiated desire for validation and attention.
Usually, this indicates deep rooted self esteem or abandonment issues and their relationships always feel like a game of cat and mouse.
I’m familiar with this because I dealt with these issues in my own relationships.
After undergoing lots of therapy, introspection, experience and growth, I’ve been able to address these issues and I’ve noticed how it has changed the way I view connecting with people I care about.
Rather than needing to be in constant contact with women or with people, I’m able to enjoy my own company.
This has allowed me to experience life from the perspective of security and confidence rather than fear and anxiety.
I know that you came for a simple answer to the question of whether or not you should talk to your boyfriend everyday but I really wanted to share some of this information with you in hopes of creating an awareness of what could be motivating you to focus on texting so much.
What I will suggest is examining past experiences and coming to a few conclusions of your own.
If you have a history of getting rejected after texting too frequently or when being dumped after giving your entire life to a relationship, there’s probably lessons in there for you to learn.
You may be dealing with the above mentioned issues.
You’d be surprised at how many people are undiagnosed codependents.
If you try to pull away and fake the behavior of a person who is secure and productive in life without actually working on becoming these things, you will suffer.
Not talking or texting your boyfriend will feel like torture for you.
In order to have a healthy and wholesome relationship that can last a lifetime, it is imperative that you do not seize personal growth.
Your identity must be maintained and developed or else you will fall into the same pitfall as a lot of other people do.
The end destination for this mistake is complete codependency and a failed relationship.
The Main Point: Focus at least 60% of your time towards personal growth, your relationship with God and your loved ones and life fulfillment. Naturally, you won’t have time to talk to anyone all the time. Thus, you can transition into a more healthy balance of communication with your boyfriend that satisfies the need for bonding and the need for longing or desire.
You need to read this article: Do guys overthink texts?
I don’t see a problem with talking to your boyfriend every day if it’s interspersed between breaks of not talking during the day.
This doesn’t have to be intentional.
Your focus doesn’t have to be on not talking to your boyfriend everyday.
Instead, your focus should be on living a complete and fulfilling life while making time for the people you love, including your boyfriend.
Let me tell you something, it’s a wonderful feeling to finish a day of hard work by talking to your partner.
It’s so rewarding, loving and euphoric.
I like to think of it in this manner.
Talking to my partner is a reward and I have to earn it each and every day.
You earn it by working towards becoming the best version of yourself, little by little, every day.
At the end of the day, it’s the quality of time spent with someone that matters more than the amount of time spent together.
Also, just observe his interest level and you’ll be able to tell when he really wants to talk and when he needs a little space to miss you and seek you out.
If you do this, I’m willing to bet that you’ll have some of the most amazing conversations with him in person rather than on text.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on whether or not you should talk to your boyfriend everyday. If you need personal help, I offer email coaching and you can read more about that on my services page by clicking here.