It’s that time of the year when everyone is feeling festive, you’re nostalgically thinking about your ex while weighing the pros and cons of should you send your ex holiday greetings.
You should only send your ex holiday greetings if both of you have moved on and are comfortable with being friends only. Otherwise, you shouldn’t reach out to your ex at all, especially if you have initiated no contact.
We’ll discuss the importance of not sending your ex holiday greetings in a second. For now, I want to quickly touch on when it’s okay to do so.
When we talk about both of you having moved on completely and being just friends, take it at face value.
Only when you are 100% certain that there are absolutely no residual romantic feelings for your ex should you be in contact with them.
In any other situation, it is better off to remain silent.
The last thing you want is to give him or her the wrong impression by reaching out or to expose yourself to the wrong kind of interaction from your ex.
This could potentially undo the progress you’ve made at moving on.
If you’ve been friends with each other for a relatively long space of time, you’re both in happy relationships or content with your relationship status and remain in contact without any complications whatsoever, then it’s okay to wish him or her.
But hold on, why do you want to wish your ex for the holiday season? What can you get out of it other than a reply. If anything, you could get ignored or insulted for reaching out.
There are very few pros for doing so, if we’re being brutally honest.
However, since we have covered the terms and situations for when it’s okay to send your ex holiday greetings, it’s time to talk about when you shouldn’t do it.
1. If you have initiated no contact
It may seem counter intuitive but attraction often is.
Chasing after someone who dumped you is a surefire way of chasing them out of your life.
It simply projects desperation and neediness. Those are not attractive traits at all.
What you want to do is affirm your value and worth. The best way of doing that in your eyes and in the eyes of your ex is by taking control of the situation and walking away.
No contact is the perfect solution for that.
So, if you are doing no contact, reaching out to your ex is strictly prohibited, even on special occasions like birthdays and festive holidays.
End of story.
2. You both parted on bad terms
Most relationships start off beautifully but they can take an ugly turn for the worse.
What I’ve come to realize is that attraction itself does not take toxic behavior or warning signs into consideration during the early phases of courtship.
I think this also has to do with our innate desire to see the good in people.
By the time a toxic relationship has come to an end, enough damage has been done to make one or both of you want to never hear from each other again.
And to be honest, that’s perfectly okay.
Not all relationships can or will end on good terms.
Despite a desire to change that, all you can do is find closure within yourself and accept the situation for what it is.
Rather than dig at old wounds, just leave it be. Stay away or else you put yourself at risk of being ignored or hurt.
3. You haven’t processed the breakup or moved on
Sometimes all it takes is a simple interaction with your ex to bring back all those feelings you have worked so hard to move on from.
None of us can accurately predict the time it will take to move on.
For some, it takes them a few weeks and for others, it could take up to a year or more.
If there is no hope or intention of reconciliation, it is foolish to reach out and interact with your ex.
There’s nothing to be gained from it nor will it do anything to help you move on.
Up until you have spent the time required to move on from your ex and allow those romantic feelings to change, it’s not a good idea to reach out to your ex.
4. You are conflicted about it
My mother always told me, when in doubt, leave it out.
I don’t know if that applies to everything in life but it certainly applies to situations pertaining to a breakup.
For many years now, I have been in the habit of drawing up pros and cons before making a decision that could potentially affect the way I feel for a significant amount of time.
When the pros cannot outweigh the cons, I leave it out without any regret.
On more than one occasion, this has saved me from pain and embarrassment.
Another technique I use is to wait 24 hours before making a decision. By the time those 24 hours lapse, those intense emotions I felt have subsided and I have more mental clarity.
By doing this, I have avoided impulsive decisions.
If you are battling to convince yourself to send those festive season wishes to your ex, take it as a sign to not do it.
Has your ex wished you?
I think this is an overlooked question that can provide some well-needed clarity on the situation.
You care enough to consider sending your ex well wishes and festive greetings but has he or she done the same?
How many times have you wished your ex a happy birthday only for them to completely forget it was yours?
When I asked myself these questions, I realized how foolish I was for making an effort with someone who didn’t care enough to do the same.
And let’s assume that our exes do consider it, perhaps they felt like it’s not a good idea and opted not to.
If they think it isn’t a good idea, then there has to be a reason for that.
That reason will probably be a very good one for why you shouldn’t wish them either.
Be that as it may, do whatever your gut tells you to do. At least then, you don’t have to live with any regrets.
I want you to leave this article with the intention of prioritizing your own happiness and well being.
Even though you’re a thoughtful person, it doesn’t mean you can’t be selfish at times and choose your own happiness over that of your ex.
There is great value in self preservation. When nobody else chooses you, shouldn’t you?
Wish them well in your heart and just carry on with your life.
With that being said, I hope I did justice to this article on should you send your ex holiday greetings. Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
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