Perhaps some time has passed since your breakup, you’ve made peace with your past and you’re enjoying the single life until out of nowhere, your ex comes back asking for a second chance. This leaves you with a burning question, should you ever take an ex back?
The answer is yes, you should take an ex back if you have strong reasons to do so. However, if you are of the opinion that the issues which led to the breakup are still there, then you should not take an ex back.
No matter how much you care or miss your ex if the issues that caused the breakup have not been addressed and fixed, they will pop up again and cause another breakup.
Which in turn means that you will have to endure the same breakup all over again.
Is this worth the risk? Do you feel like taking back an ex will make you happy or do you feel like the future has more to offer?
Those are questions only you can answer. What I can provide are some factors to consider before taking back an ex.
Let’s take a look at those reasons for taking back your ex as well as reasons not to.
Reasons why you should take an ex back
These are what I consider to be the only reasons to ever take back an ex:
- Your ex has changed and fixed their issues.
- The circumstances that forced a split have changed.
- You both still love and adore each other.
- He or she was a wonderful partner for the duration of your relationship and the breakup was not caused by a deal-breaking mistake or action.
Many relationships end because, at the time, they had to. Both partners may have been at different phases of their life or circumstances like distance or work commitments made it almost impossible to be together.
When the reason for the breakup had nothing to do with a loss of trust caused by deceit or cheating or abuse, then it’s completely fair to consider getting back with an ex.
It all depends on whether or not you both are good for each other, there’s mutual respect and you can see the relationship progressing further than it did before.
Here’s a simple test – Run it by someone who you trust and has always had your best interest in heart.
Let them provide you with an objective analysis of the situation and if the cons don’t seem significant to you anymore, then it’s a lot safer to consider a reconciliation with your ex.
Reasons why you should not take an ex back
These are what I consider to be the 5 greatest reasons to never take an ex back.
- If an ex cheated on you.
- If an ex abused you emotionally, physically or psychologically.
- If an ex misled, deceived and lied to you often.
- If an ex diminished you of everything you have and ruined your life.
- If an ex was overly protective, controlling, manipulative or possessive.
Granted, people change and if your ex has done everything to make up for their mistakes or bad behavior, sought out help, has made amends and if there’s reason trust him or her then you can take a chance if that is what your heart desires.
However, never underestimate the trauma and disrespect caused by these 5 relationship deal breakers.
They go against the very foundation of what constitutes a happy and loving relationship.
You must always remember that in life, you only get what you negotiate for.
Unless you value yourself, others won’t. It starts with you. Place a higher value on yourself and demand better from your love life.
Don’t give up your precious time, energy and love for someone who is unworthy of you.
When you accept toxic people into your life, bot only do you sell yourself short but you start viewing yourself as someone who deserves what you get.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side
Have you ever noticed how feeling nostalgic makes you happy and sad at the same time?
Can you really trust a feeling that is so conflicting in nature when in reality, that relationship you miss actually made your life a living hell at the time?
I’m a very sentimental person and I often find myself looking back at the past through rose tinted glasses.
Whenever I went back to what had left, I found myself regretting my decision.
More often than not, people who take an ex back often break up again and this time, for good.
Why? Because they realize those feelings experienced after breaking up and the images they fantasized about were not an accurate depiction of reality.
Just because you’re having a bit of a rough time now doesn’t mean a relationship with your ex is going to be any better. If anything, it may even be as toxic as hell.
It is imperative for you to consider all the possibilities and be as realistic with yourself as possible.
The idea of a reunion with someone you loved or love seems intoxicating but not when that person or relationship is destined for doom. Don’t become the collateral damage from your own decisions.
I hope that this article has given you some clarity on whether or not you should ever take an ex back.
Like we discussed above, it depends on the circumstances of the initial breakup and the type of person your ex has become.
You must be highly critical in this situation because your happiness is on the line.
Don’t jump out of the pan into the fire.
Please share your thoughts in the comment section below. I’d love to know, have you ever taken an ex back and did it actually last?