Crushing on someone is magical. The sight of them puts butterflies in your stomach and the fantasy of having a shot with them feels blissful. Which then begs the question, should I text my crush?
Yes, you should text your crush. If you don’t try, you are guaranteed to never have a shot at being with him or her.
Of course, like most relationship-centric questions, it’s not always a definitive Yes or No answer.
There are instances when it’s a bad idea to text your crush and we will most certainly discuss them later in this article.
For now, though, let’s talk about why you should text your crush.
It takes courage and builds courage
Courage is an admirable trait to hone and it can open up the doors of opportunity in your life more than you can ever imagine.
If there’s one thing that people admire and respect, it’s someone who has the courage to try even at the risk of failing.
And this absolutely applies to romantic situations.
I cannot begin to tell you how often women admire men who have the guts to try and reach out to them.
The same can be said for men.
Courage is often a sign of inner strength so if you are looking to make a good impression on your crush, we could make a strong argument that texting him or her is the right thing to do.
What I find is that the more I face my fears, the easier it becomes to deal with them in the future.
Your crush may feel the same way as you do
Can you imagine how amazing it could be if your crush actually finds you attractive as well and has been waiting for you to say something?
Sure, it may not be the most frequently occurring event but that doesn’t mean this has not happened before.
By texting your crush, it could pay off big time and create the perfect opportunity for you to ask them out on a date.
As they say, strike while the iron is hot.
Here’s an interesting observation, most people who feel the same way will express that very early on.
They may come outright and just say how happy they are that you reached out and texted because they wanted an opportunity to get to know you.
Your crush may be open to getting to know you
In a more realistic scenario, your crush may neither be here nor there, especially if they haven’t interacted or spoken to you much before.
All you can really do is take things in your stride and focus on having a conversation that leads into you asking him or her out on a date or for coffee.
I would advise you to try and step back for a second and honestly consider whether their response to your texts is relaxed, open, flirty and/or fun.
If so, then they’re definitely curious about you in some way and open to a conversation.
At which point, texting your crush was a success because the purpose of reaching out was to start a conversation.
Once you get past that initial hurdle, focus on having a good conversation that can escalate to a coffee date.
With that being said, I think it’s crucial for us to discuss the situations when you shouldn’t text your crush to avoid scaring them off, getting rejected or blocked.
Don’t text your crush if they have rejected you already
If there ever was a better way of ruining all attraction and displaying desperate tendencies, it would be by texting someone who ignores you or rejects you.
A lack of interest will not change by chasing after someone, especially digitally.
You risk getting insulted or even blocked.
It would be far more beneficial to wait for a better opportunity in the future to try again rather than double or triple text them now.
When dealing with rejection, I have this view – don’t reward someone with your effort and attention for failing to see your worth.
Ironically, the ideal reaction to rejection is to do the opposite of making an effort.
Exercising inaction and indifference puts you in a position of power.
It prevents you from saying or doing anything that affirms his or her decision to reject you.
I would also argue that the no contact rule is quite appropriate and effective when you have been rejected.
You can go about it subtly and without any declaration whatsoever.
Simply leave the door open if he or she changes their mind and walk away without being bitter or sour about it.
Related post: Why is she ignoring me? Reasons and solutions
Don’t text your crush if they’re in a relationship
Not only is it pointless but it’s actually rude and disrespectful. Would you be okay with some stranger texting your boyfriend or girlfriend? Especially if they know that you’re in a relationship?
I don’t think so. I think you would be annoyed by that.
Additionally, if you continue texting someone who is happily in a relationship, you may end up deep in the friend zone without even realizing it.
This will result in so much wasted time, effort and energy.
And trust me when I tell you that the last thing you need in your life is some girl or guy calling you out for not respecting the sanctity of his or her relationship with your crush despite being told not to pursue.
How to text your crush
By now, you should have a clear answer to whether or not you should text your crush. If yes, the next logical question is to ask how.
Let’s unpack this for a second – what is your objective?
To start a conversation that could build some interest and lead to a date.
That’s about it. You don’t have to act differently.
Text your crush in the same way you would text someone else you find attractive. Forget about being dopey or overly suave. Most guys and girls overthink things and end up making a few silly mistakes, such as:
- Using cheesy pickup lines without any context and in the wrong manner.
- Texting too much too quickly.
- Wording their text with too much of interest and desperation.
Have you heard about paralysis by analysis? Basically, you become psychologically debilitated through overthinking a particular situation for too long.
To avoid this phenomenon, I had to take the bulls by the horn. I skipped over my concern or desire for making a perfect impression and focused on the action itself.
I sent a simple text saying, Hey, it’s Zak from so and so. Is this *Insert Name Here*?
Thereafter, I winged it because the hardest part was over.
I focused on being polite, lighthearted and interested in my crush rather than spewing my feelings for attraction.
Please, do not start praising and confessing your feelings to someone who barely knows you. It’s weird.
If you want to compliment him or her, that’s okay. Let them know that you reached out because you find them ridiculously cute or intelligent.
Whatever it may be, keep it short and brief.
Focus more on the conversation itself rather than trying to make your crush look at you in this perfect way.
Here’s another rule of thumb – only send a single text.
Wait for your crush to read and reply to it. If you hear back from them, great! If not, you should wait for a significant amount of time before double texting.
Very rarely will I double to triple text someone I’m interested in and want to start a conversation with.
They have to be available and receptive to me. If they aren’t, texting them over and over again will make most people look weak and desperate.
Believe it or not, some people will actually not reply to a text as a test to determine whether you’re desperate, creepy or a chaser.
If you play it cool and avoid bombarding them with texts as other people do, you’ll stand a greater chance than they do.
Just to summarize – should I text my crush? Yes, you should because it will help you build courage and confidence, your crush may feel the same way about you or it creates a conversation that leads to an opportunity to have a date.
If, however, your crush has previously rejected you, ignored previous attempts at communicating or is in a serious relationship, you probably shouldn’t text your crush.
With that being said, I hope you have a clear understanding of when to text your crush and how to text your crush.
If you still have any questions related to this article on should I text my crush, feel free to leave them in the comment section below and I’ll answer them.
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