It’s becoming common knowledge to a lot of people that texting too frequently can have an adverse effect on attraction in the early days of dating. But, the desire to reach out doesn’t diminish just because we are aware of this piece of information. You’re probably wondering to yourself, should I text him first in the morning? Or should you wait for him to reach out?
There’s nothing wrong with texting him first in the morning. In fact, it can be viewed as a sweet and thoughtful way to show him that you are invested in him and care about communicating with him. I would even argue that men tend to wait for a woman to text so that he knows she’s interested and he’ll use this as an opportunity to flirt with you and ask you out on a date.
This is the case with men who are genuinely interested in you.
But, does that mean you have to do all the texting?
Well, sometimes it’s good to cool off and let him wonder about you. It avoids monotony and boredom from setting in.
Also, it plants doubt in his mind which may influence him to pursue you with a bit more enthusiasm.
All you have to do is observe his level of interest and then make a judgment on whether you should text him first in the morning or play a little harder to get.
When it comes to texting, I have one rule of thumb that I constantly talk about recently.
Observe whether you are acting from a space of desire, excitement and anticipation or fear, anxiety or desperation.
In courtship, it’s rarely ever a good time to act on feelings of fear, anxiety or desperation.
Usually, this indicates that you feel insecure either because you’re uncertain of your own self-worth or he’s doing things to make you feel secure and your gut instinct is screaming at you.
In most of those cases, more action isn’t the answer.
If anything, you need to take a step back and entertain the possibility that something is wrong and you need to act on logic rather than emotion because they may cloud your judgment.
Not all of these anxiety-inducing situations are problematic.
It’s highly possible that you are feeling those emotions because it’s been a while since you met someone that you like, you’re highly invested and you’re still recovering from past trauma.
These are legitimate reasons for experiencing scary emotions but you have to address them internally rather than act on them.
When an overpowering emotion is clouding your judgment, it is advised to act contrary to what you think you need to do.
You don’t resolve anxiety and fear by seeking validation during bouts of extreme emotions.
By doing so, you’re creating a feedback loop that feeds those emotions and influences you to make impulsive and approval-seeking choices every time you feel some fear, anxiety or insecurity.
I know that I went off on a tangent but I feel like a question of this nature usually can be traced back to deeper issues of insecurity and fear.
So, my advice to you is this – figure out your motive for wanting to text him first in the morning and if it stems from healthy amounts of excitement, anticipation and desire, then it’s a good idea to do so.
If you’re afraid of rejection and need more approval from him, you can do it and observe his reaction to it as well as yours.
But, look intrinsically and find out what’s triggering these unfortunate emotions within you.
Is it something to do with your self-esteem and past trauma or is he behaving in a manner that’s making your instincts fire on all cylinders?
Related post: He seems interested but not over text
Tips On Texting Him First In The Morning
Before you go ahead and text an essay to him about how amazing he is and how much you desire him, grab your cup of coffee and make some notes on what I’m about to share with you because it’s important.
Unless you are in a relationship with him or you’ve been dating for a while, you want to keep your good morning texts short, sweet and playful.
Love and attraction are nurtured via good experiences and good moments.
Sure, vulnerability is also a great facilitator of closeness but you don’t want to start the morning on that note.
Here’s how you send a good morning text that is not only sweet but sexy and fun.
- Use emojis because men attribute them to feminine energy and a sign of interest.
- Playful tease him about having a good day by thinking about you. This shows confidence.
- Be cheerful. Men attribute warmth from a woman to the characteristic of being nurturing. This is highly attractive to men.
- Don’t write an essay. Like a good trailer, you want to leave him with enough of your attention and affection to like what he’s experiencing but not enough to get bored so that he comes back wanting more.
- You can never go wrong with a good joke but not if he’s going through a rough patch. In that case, opt for a thoughtful and assuring message that everything is going to be okay.
- Lastly, don’t overthink it.
As I said earlier, there are just things you need to be aware of during those early days of courtship.
When the two of you develop a deeper bond with each other and you’re close, it’s quite easy to text in a manner that nurtures love and closeness.
At the end of the day, when you’re coming from a space of desire and attraction with the intent to make him feel good, you’re not going to do much that scares off a man who is ready, open, willing and interested in a relationship.
Related post: What should I do if he is online but not texting me?
Let’s say that you get in the swing of texting him first in the morning. He’s going to look forward to it over time.
But, if he starts to show signs of losing interest or a lack of enthusiasm, I want you to stop for a day or two.
Don’t text him until he texts you.
What will happen is that he’ll realize that you’ve backed off and if there’s still a good degree of attraction and interest, he may start to worry that you’re losing interest in him.
This will encourage him to reach out to you.
Then, you can test what amount of texting works in this relationship and he’ll also learn a valuable lesson.
Stepping away shows that you have self-respect and if he is not appreciative, you’re willing to walk away.
That’s attractive to anyone because it’s a sign of confidence and dignity.
This, in and of itself, may reignite his interest level in you.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on should I text him first in the morning to be helpful, practical and insightful. If you have any questions or thoughts that you would like to share with me on this topic, please do so by leaving a comment down below to let me know.