As much as we try to avoid it, there comes a time when we have to block people in order to move on and heal from past heartbreak and trauma. Perhaps, you’re in this situation with your ex now. This begs the question, should I tell my ex I’m blocking him?
You should tell your ex you’re blocking him as a courtesy and to give him the chance to get some closure by explaining why you are blocking him. If he’s a good, decent and stable person, he may be upset to hear of this but he will not react harshly. If he’s a toxic, negative and unstable person, then telling him will just trigger a response from him that leads to further drama and problems.
This is why it is important to examine the kind of person that you ex is as well as the circumstances that have led you to block him.
Blocking an ex can feel like a second form of rejection for the person being blocked. They won’t be happy about it but you shouldn’t expect them to.
It’s not easy being told that you’re going to be completely shut out of someone’s life, especially when you cared deeply for that person.
But, it’s a lot better to be told that you’re being blocked than to be ghosted without any explanation or any opportunity to say goodbye and get some closure.
Be that as it may, I think it’s important that we judge each situation on its own merits before making a decision.
Let’s take a look at some of the factors that may encourage you to tell your ex you’re blocking him and then let’s look at the factors that discourage any confession or information before blocking him.
Related post: Why is my ex checking up on me?
When you should tell your ex you’re blocking him
1. When you feel like it’s the right thing to do
There’s a great deal of importance in honoring your code of ethics and morals to live a life with little regret.
The way I see it, every decision we make either propels us one step closer to being the best version of ourselves or the worst version of ourselves.
It may not seem like a big deal to block someone but if it’s going to affect them, you need to weigh the pros and cons before making a decision on whether to tell them or not.
This comes down to two questions:
- Is it the right thing to do for you?
- Is it the right thing to do by them?
If the answer to both of these questions is yes, then you should tell your ex that you are blocking him.
2. If your ex is a respectful and decent man
Blocking him is going to hurt, especially if he cares a great deal about you.
Understandably, you have to do what’s best for you and nobody can really fault you for taking a step towards healing and building a better future for yourself.
But, when you are dealing with a man who has been good to you and who is respectful and decent, it’s a thoughtful and courteous decision to inform him that you are blocking him.
It’s a sign of respect and it also provides him with an opportunity to prepare himself for what is about to happen.
3. If he hasn’t done anything to cause you to block him
When we examine the reasons why people block each other, most of the time it’s due to an event that has led to this decision.
Perhaps they have been rude, disrespectful, toxic or harmful and now you want to cut them out of your life.
In some instances, however, we really have no reason to block someone other than wanting to for ourselves.
They may have been absolutely wonderful to us for the most part but we may feel it’s time to move on and start a new chapter without them.
This shows up in romantic situations quite often these days.
It would feel wrong to block someone who hasn’t done anything wrong to you without a heads-up or explanation.
You’re leaving them with a feeling of rejection that is worsened without any information on why it’s happening.
Minimize the hurt he feels by telling him you are blocking him and want to do so on good enough terms.
Related post: What to say before no contact with your ex
4. When your ex deserves some closure
Let’s be honest with each other, being blocked or ghosted leaves behind a dreadful feeling of uncertainty and a lack of closure.
The idea of unfinished business can torment someone over time because they can’t pretend like they didn’t care about you or that you didn’t exist.
You have an opportunity to spare him of that pain by telling him that you are blocking him.
Not only will an explanation help him to get closure but it will also give him a chance to say how he feels and to say his goodbyes.
In doing so, he can feel less like you are kicking him to the curb and more like you are both parting ways without unfinished business or hard feelings.
5. If you both are still on good terms
If you’re on good terms with an ex, trust me, you’re one of the lucky ones.
Far too many people end up burning bridges with each other or even hating each other.
It’s sad but it can’t be helped. People are complex beings who can really love and hurt each other deeply.
You’d probably be burning this bridge or creating feelings of resentment by blocking and ghosting him without saying goodbye.
From good terms to bad terms is where things will end up.
At least give yourself the peace of mind of knowing that you tried not to ruin the good vibes and terms between the two of you by letting him know.
Related post: Does it hurt to get blocked?
When you should not tell your ex you’re blocking him
1. When you’re afraid of your ex
If you are dealing with a physically abusive or unstable ex who has tried to ruin your life, you should not tell him that you are blocking him.
In fact, I would advise you to block him and never ever say a word to him again.
Someone like this doesn’t deserve any courtesy at all.
Your primary focus needs to be on your well-being and the complete erasure of him from your life!
2. When your ex threatens to stalk
Elaborating on the topic of a creepy guy, I think you should be cautious about an ex who won’t leave you alone.
It can be a nuisance to deal with an ex who just won’t leave you alone.
You won’t get to move on without any drama because he’ll be lingering in the background, constantly trying to contact you on different platforms and accounts.
It would be much better to just block and move on instead of getting into a confrontation with him that stirs up more investment on his end.
Related post: 15 Signs of a creepy guy
3. If your ex is incredibly toxic for you
Sometimes, you may have the intention of doing something but the person on the other end is so manipulative and toxic that they convince you to do something else.
I’ve seen far too many people experience gaslighting and blackmailing to encourage them towards talking to a toxic ex.
If he has the kind of control or power over you to trick you into staying when you desperately want to move on, perhaps it’s best to just block him without telling him.
4. If you both hate each other or if he hates you
Up until this point, we’ve talked about honoring a code as well as being considerate and courteous to your ex.
But, what if you absolutely despise him and he despises you?
Should you still tell him that you are blocking him?
I don’t think you should and here’s why.
Nothing good will come from it. He’ll either respond very rudely or he will completely ignore you like the plague.
Either way, it’s not going to be respected by him nor is it going to amount to anything worthwhile.
So, in this case, cut your losses and just leave. There’s no need to kick a dead horse.
Related post: Should I stop texting him?
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make and it’s important for you to examine everything before making it.
Either way, this is seemingly the end of the road for the two of you given that you are going to block him.
This is just a part of life and the fact that you are even taking the time to consider all the factors before pulling the trigger is a sign of consideration and maturity.
I feel certain that you will make the right decision in the end.
Just not at the expense of your happiness and well-being.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on “should I tell my ex I’m blocking him” to be insightful and helpful. If you have any questions or thoughts that you would like to share with me, please do so by visiting the comment section below.