One of the biggest regrets you will have in life is not declaring how you feel to someone you care about. And yet, the answer to this question may surprise you.
You should tell her you miss her only if you’re fairly certain it will have a positive effect. In some cases, it can paint a picture of someone who is needy, clingy or desperate.
Essentially, circumstances play a large role in decided whether or not to tell her you miss her.
How you go about telling her you miss her will also impact the way you are perceived by this girl.
All that aside, let’s talk about why you want to tell her you miss her.
What is the objective?
- To win her back?
- To fix things?
- To show her you care?
- To find out if she cares?
The problem with any of the above mentioned objectives is that you now have expectations.
When you place an expectation on the declaration of feelings, you create the possibility of being disappointed.
As much as we can plan and speculate, people are unpredictable. You may just get the type of reaction that didn’t even factor into your plan. And then you’re left stumped, confused and hurt.
Very late in my life did I realize that if I wanted to tell her I miss her, I should do it for me, not for her or to get something from her.
Saying I miss her should be enough to make me feel content, irrespective of what she says or how she reacts.
If I know that I can’t do such a thing with a particular girl, then telling her I miss her would be a risky decision to make.
Be that as it may, high risk comes with the possibility of high reward. We can’t play life on easy or safe mode. That is a guaranteed path to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
So at some point, you probably should tell her you miss her if…
She reaches out to you
Missing someone often dictates not seeing or speaking to them for a period of time.
It could be due to living in different cities or countries, a breakup, a fight or no means of communication.
Whatever the reason may be, if she reaches out to you with a desire to speak, it’s not a stretch to assume that she misses you.
If you have been missing her as well, telling her at this point would be a perfect time.
Not only are you doing it for yourself but you improve the likelihood of a positive outcome.
Like I said above, having expectations is dangerous when professing feelings but either way, there will be an outcome. You can try to promote a good outcome by waiting until a better time to tell her you miss her.
She professes feelings for you
One of the things people say to each other during the early phase of courtship is, I miss you.
That’s usually how to break into that zone of romantic interest.
And it isn’t preceeded by some bad event like a fight or breakup. Usually, you may have went on a date, had an amazing time and the next day you both didn’t get to talk as much.
At which point, she may reach out to you saying that she misses you or had a great time.
Whatever it may be, the situation is a positive one.
Telling her you miss her at this moment in time is a great idea. It’s not a desperate or depressed proclamation at all.
You’re coming from a place of attraction, romance and positivity which is going to translate really well to her.
Reciprocate the feelings by letting her know you miss her and can’t wait to see her again.
Let’s move onto when you should not tell her that you miss her.
You’re in a relationship
The building blocks for a healthy relationship is plastered together with emotions. In other words, caring for your partner and being cared for strengthens any new or old relationship.
From time to time, you should tell your partner how much you miss them.
But, the idea of missing someone dictates being away from them for some time.
This means that you should never stop working on your goals and ambitions as a person. Give yourself and your partner some space to explore individuality.
A healthy relationship promotes a balanced life.
You don’t have to be smothering your partner all day long to show them how much you love them.
And in the same breath, just because you’ve been together for a long time doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be making an effort to be affectionate and romantic to your partner.
Romantic and kind gestures should remain a factor in your relationship for as long as you are together.
Don’t tell her you miss her after she dumped you
The best way to help the dumper move on is to express how much you miss them after a breakup.
Not only will they feel better but it reduces the anxiety, doubt and uncertainty after a breakup.
What you should do is hold your cards close to your chest.
Not only will this improve your chances of getting her back but it also protects your dignity.
The ultimate reaction after being dumped is radio silence.
Unless you agree with splitting up, you should completely eliminate all contact with your ex.
Don’t let them see you hurt or pining for them. Don’t give them that power over you and the situation.
Instead, handle it like a champ. Save those low moments for the people in your life. Express how much you miss her to them. Don’t do it to her.
When she starts to wonder about you and consider whether she made the right decision, not knowing how you feel will help in making her reach out because she will be missing you like crazy.
Don’t tell her you miss her if you don’t mean it
Playing with someones emotions is not a kind thing to do at all. Unless you truly mean it, don’t say it to her.
There’s nothing justifiable about leading someone on and having no intention of actually acting on your words.
That’s the problem with saying something of this nature without sincerity.
It’s a loaded statement that has consequences if it is misused and mishandled.
The only thing she wants from you is the truth. If you have nothing true to say, then say nothing at all.
How to react if she doesn’t miss you
Don’t react at all. If anything, maintain indifference. Your dignity remains intact. And so does your self-image.
Far too often a guy will tell a girl how much he misses her and when the feelings aren’t reciprocated, he reacts in a way that completely demolishes his image in this girls eyes.
He may blow up at her, get butt-hurt, act completely shocked, start pursuing her incessantly or try to take back what he said.
All of which makes him look even more defeated than he feels in that moment.
Now I hope you understand why I emphasized the importance of not expecting anything by telling her how you feel.
Expectations always have the possibility of disappointment and rejection. You’re far better off sending love and good vibes out into the world without expecting anything in return.
So when something good or bad happens, it doesn’t deplete or diminish you as a person.
Live without regret
I think that’s the most important thing you can consider when making a decision in your life.
It’s easy for anyone and everyone else to advise you but at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to live with the consequences of the decision, be it good or bad.
So you’re much better off following your gut instinct when considering the kind of decision and outcome you can live with.
I think of it this way – if by telling a girl you miss her causes her to leave or move on from you, then is she really the person you want to have in your life?
Food for thought.
With the right person, these little mishaps become small hurdles in the grand scheme of things.
I’d like to leave you with the following to think about – You’ll never truly lose someone who doesn’t want to be lost from your life.
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