Should I Tell Her How I Feel? (Answered & Explained)


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Finding the perfect time to confess your feelings to someone can be really difficult and confusing. The doubt and anxiety may influence you to just avoid the situation altogether but you really want to be with her. This begs the question, should I tell her how I feel?

Yes, you should tell her how you feel if she seems interested in you and the relationship between the two of you has matured enough to be more romantic. The last thing you want to do is live with the regret of not telling her how you feel. 

Even if you get rejected, you can walk away knowing that you were courageous enough to take a chance at winning her heart.

When I was younger, I liked this girl during my high school days but never told her. I just didn’t have the courage to do so. I kept delaying it until I felt like it was the perfect time to do so. The perfect time never came and I regretted that decision back then.

I learned a valuable lesson from that experience. Rejection does not hurt as much as regret. This is my honest opinion on the matter.

Since then, I’ve made it a priority to share how I feel with someone if it felt like the right thing to do. 

And that lesson has helped me to find the love of my life. 

However, there are some instances when it’s not the best idea to tell her how you feel but we’ll discuss that later on.

For now, let’s talk about all the reasons why you should tell her how you feel. 

1. She may like you back

Imagine that this entire time, she has been crushing on you and developing feelings while waiting for you to say something.

Usually, you can tell when a woman likes you. She’ll text you all the time, she’ll call, she’ll flirt and be romantic with you and she’ll always find time to be with you.

Additionally, she’ll laugh at all your lame jokes, find excuses to touch you, she’ll be supportive and really affectionate to you often and in her own way.

By telling her how you feel, it’s going to create the perfect opportunity for her to do so as well.

Related post: 25 Signs she is developing feelings for you

2. She is under the impression that you only want to be friends

Not everyone is well versed in the subtle signs of attraction.

Perhaps she is completely ignorant of your desire to make a move on her.

Normally, women are quite perceptive about this but it depends on how experienced she is in relationships and how expressive you are.

There’s no point in just being friends with someone if your only intention is to be romantically involved.

In that case, it’s a good idea to tell her how you feel and see if she is open to exploring the idea of dating you or not.

Based on her reaction, you can escalate things in the right direction or you can make a decision on whether you can be only friends with her or not. 

Related post: Should I tell her she’s pretty?

3. You’ll regret it if she moves on without at least knowing how you feel

Speaking from experience, I can tell you with certainty that you will regret not telling how you feel. 

Let’s face it, if she’s worth it, the risk of rejection shouldn’t stop you.

And if you do allow it to stop you, then that is going to weigh heavily on you because nobody wants to be a coward. 

The best things in life often come with the risk of loss or failure.

But, even if you get rejected, at least you can walk away knowing that you were authentic, you were courageous and you were honest. 

She’ll respect you for having the guts to tell her how you feel instead of cowering behind the safety of friendship. 

Related post: Do guys regret losing a good girl?

4. It helps you to build courage

I mentioned this above but I’d like to elaborate on this in terms of how it affects your love.

Here’s what I realized, rejection doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

On one hand, telling her how you feel will require some courage but if she feels the same way, it pays off in a hugely positive way and you’ll gain confidence from it.

On the other hand, if you get rejected, you can walk away with your self-respect intact knowing that you had the courage to confess your feelings. 

Additionally, once you face rejection and you have that moment of realization that it doesn’t destroy you and life goes on, you’ll gain a new sense of confidence in not just telling girls how you feel but also in pursuing them.

For these character building reasons, I think it’s imperative that you tell her how you feel.

5. You’ve been too cold towards her

I swear that you wouldn’t believe me if I told you that guys contact me for help on how to re-attract a girl who was totally into them but left because they didn’t appreciate her or show her affection.

Listen, women who care about you want to know how you feel.

They want to feel your affection and to know that you love and adore them if they feel the same way about you.

If you make the mistake of being a cold fish, she’s going to feel rejected and unappreciated by you and this could cause her to distance herself.

Related post: How to make a girl happy

Reasons why you shouldn’t tell her how you feel

There are situations when you probably shouldn’t confess your feelings because it will almost certainly guarantee rejection or unnecessary drama and I’m going to share them with you below. 

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1. She’s in love with someone else

Honestly, at this point, there’s really no reason to confess your feelings to her because it’s not going to change her feelings for the guy she’s in love with.

You’re almost certainly going to get rejected in this case and that just isn’t worth it. 

Timing is important to some degree and you ought to choose a time when she’s not visibly fawning over someone else.

Unless, of course, the chance of her being with that guy is zero and they’ve broken up, it’s really not a wise move to tell her how you feel right now.

Related post: 15 Signs she doesn’t love you anymore

2. She has already rejected you

When a woman has rejected you and told you upfront that she doesn’t feel the same way, telling how you feel isn’t going to magically make her feel the same way.

Unrequited love stings and its natural intention is to express itself to its target but that doesn’t translate well in real life.

If anything, it’s going to turn her off and make her consider the idea of you being desperate, needy or super clingy.

None of these things are considered attractive, especially to someone who isn’t interested and has rejected you before. 

Unless she brings it up and wants to know how you feel, it’s not a good idea to tell her how you feel again.

Related post: When to give up on a girl you like

3. You’re not certain about your feelings

Unless you know with certainty that you like this girl and want to be with her, don’t complicate the situation by moving too fast and too impulsively. 

The last thing you want to do is prematurely confess feelings of love for someone when you don’t actually know for sure.

If she feels strongly about you, it’s going to really hurt her if you have a change of heart when things start to get serious and you experience major doubts. 

4. You’re doing it out of desperation or fear

I believe that feelings of love should not be confessed unless they are done so for the sake of expressing yourself. 

Put differently, if you’re only telling how you feel because you are scared of losing her to someone else or you desperately want her despite knowing that she’s definitely going to reject you, then don’t do it! 

She’ll smell desperation a mile away and that is not attractive or romantic at all.

If you’re going to confess your feelings, let it be without expectation and just straight from the heart. 

5. She dumped you

Trust me when I tell you that trying to get your ex back by confessing that you’re still in love with her after she dumped you will not work.

She already knows that you’re into her and still dumped you.

The fact that you still love her isn’t going to change how she feels right now.

So, instead, what you should be doing is creating uncertainty.

By her not hearing from you or knowing how you feel, it will make her consider the possibility that you are moving on and this might make her miss you and reconsider her decision.

So, for this reason, do not tell her how you feel.

In conclusion

Should you tell her how you feel? Yes, you should tell her how you feel if she seems interested in you and the relationship between the two of you has matured enough to be more romantic. The last thing you want to do is live with the regret of not telling her how you feel. 

You are guaranteed to miss the shots you don’t take and nothing hurts more than regret. 

It takes courage to tell someone how you feel but it also builds courage.

The amount of respect you’ll gain for yourself is worth the risk.

However, I hope that you are also aware of the instances when it just isn’t appropriate to confess your feelings for someone to avoid embarrassing yourself or causing unnecessary problems that completely turn her off from you. 

With that being said, I hope you found this article on should I tell her how I feel to be insightful and thought-provoking. If you would like email coaching, feel free to check out my services page and also check out my book for more information on how to make a girl fall in love with you.

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