A double text is not inherently bad and can actually be necessary for certain situations. However, when it comes to an ex, there aren’t many reasons why you ought to be double texting him or her. Be that as it may, should you double text your ex?
You should not double text your ex if he or she dumped you brutally and without any respect, betrayed you without any remorse and is clearly showing no interest in you anymore or respect.
Before we continue, there’s something I want to talk about first.
I have a question for you.
Why are you even texting your ex?
One text is already one more text than you should be sending to your ex.
If this man or woman dumped you brutally, refuses to work on the relationship and screwed you over without any remorse, why are you texting him or her?
Where’s your self-respect and dignity?
Is rewarding someone who tossed you away a loving thing to do to yourself?
Are you telling me that you love this person more than you love yourself?
If you do, then we have a bigger problem on our hands to deal with.
Look, it’s a completely different story if you or your ex made a mistake, there’s love that still exists but circumstances and situations have made it impossible to be together.
I get that.
If you have an ex who is kind, loving, thoughtful and respectful, I am not opposed to you texting them and vice versa.
There’s no rule that states you have to cut ties with your ex.
It all depends on what you need in this situation to heal and recover.
If the relationship can be salvaged, then that’s another reason why I wouldn’t be opposed to remaining in contact.
Lastly, if you and your ex are supporting each other to heal and you are respectful to each other in that process, then remain in contact for as long as you want.
But, if you’re dealing with a jerk who doesn’t give a damn about you and tossed you away like a piece of trash, you have absolutely no business texting this ex ever.
Related post: Is double texting a turn off?
When You Should Double Text Your Ex
1. You are concerned for their well being
Perhaps they’re sick, going through a crisis, lost a loved one or they’re struggling with their mental health.
Sure, it’s not your job to save your ex but if you feel like the situation warrants a double text, do it.
As long as you are congruent with your code of conduct, morals and ethics, then there’s no reason to overthink this.
But, if you’re lying to yourself and just making up an emergency because you’re desperate to hear back from your ex, then you need to get a hold of yourself and be honest.
2. It’s strange how they suddenly disappeared
When texting is involved, there’s always the risk of being ghosted or ignored.
As I said, emergencies warrant concern but in this case, snuffing out a situation of ghosting also warrants a double text.
If you have been in contact with your ex and it appears to be a mutual understanding that you can slowly work on getting back together, suddenly disappearing and not replying to you is a red flag.
If you are sending a double text as a test to determine if your suspicions are correct, then I understand and I agree with it because your motivation is self-preservation instead of desperation.
3. You were rude, disrespectful or hurtful
When I write these articles, my natural assumption is that I’m writing for people who are being wronged in some way.
But, I’m starting to realize that there are people who are oblivious to their own toxic behavior.
They’re going through a problem, there’s no doubt about that.
But, what they don’t realize is that they had a hand in creating this issue.
So, it’s my responsibility to be honest and point that out.
If you were insulting, dismissive, aggressive, vulgar and demeaning to your ex, don’t be surprised that he or she isn’t texting you back.
Examine your last conversation with him or her, determine if you said anything that can be offensive and then examine your justifications.
If your justification is weak or unwarranted, you need to double text and apologize to your ex.
Listen, I understand how volatile you may feel after a breakup.
Trust me, I completely get it.
But, if you were out of line, you have to apologize because it’s the right and respectful thing to do if you want to continue communicating with your ex.
At the same time, don’t apologize for something you haven’t said or done to get his or her attention or approval!
4. You ended the relationship in a poor manner
Look, I’m no stranger to bad breakups. I get it. There’s really no easy way to break someone’s heart or to end a relationship with someone who you love.
But, there are things that you could do when breaking up that are unacceptable or bad.
Usually, when you feel guilty for a breakup beyond just the fact that you broke up, then there’s something that you need to examine and rectify.
Perhaps, you did it over text or a call instead of doing it in person.
Perhaps you didn’t do it at all and disappeared for a while before you came back.
Most people know when they’ve hurt someone unnecessarily and if you have, then you probably should double text and make it a meaningful apology.
I’ll be honest with you, frequently needing to double text an ex is never a positive sign of interest or sign of reconciliation.
Typically, I would advise you to send a short and sweet double text that isn’t overly emotional, aggressive, argumentative or accusatory.
However, perhaps it’s time for you to consider the possibility that your ex is not coming back and will not reply to you again.
If you can do that, then I suggest sending a double text stating exactly what you want to say to them.
Let it be kind, honest, real and composed.
Speak from the heart but do not beg, plead or resort to any form of fighting.
Then, let your ex go and focus on your own healing.
Trust me, if you follow my advice, you aren’t going to look desperate or weird at all.
If they come back, great. If they don’t come back, it’s okay.
Either way, you said what you have to and now you are going to deal with the aftermath of this breakup.
It’s going to be painful but there are plenty of lessons that you can get out of this pain.
These lessons will guide you towards working on things that level you up as a man or woman.
That’s how you channel pain in a productive and healthy manner.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on whether or not you should double text your ex to be clear, concise and helpful. If you have any questions or thoughts that you would like to share with me on this topic, please do so by visiting the comment section below to let me know.