Yes, you should be worried if a girl likes everything your boyfriend posts because it’s a sign of interest or closeness. Does that mean you should contact or confront her? It doesn’t. Should you pay attention to this behavior before having a conversation with your boyfriend? Absolutely.
It is shortsighted to accept dating and relationship advice of others who have different boundaries and values than you do.
You have to examine all advice against your own morals, beliefs and values.
I’m sure that you’ll find countless articles or videos online stating that it’s okay for your partner to be close to another girl.
But, that is in accordance with their own boundaries and values.
You don’t have to adopt anyone else’s values nor do you have to ignore your feelings.
So, the first thing you have to do is decide whether this behavior goes against your values and boundaries. If it does, you should address it maturely and directly.
You need to read this article: Why is Instagram toxic for relationships?
Abnormal Contact With Another Person Is Usually A Sign Of Infidelity
A relationship without security is torture.
Most of us have been cheated on.
The one thing we often share in common is that we ignored warning signs. We convinced ourselves otherwise. We chose to trust.
There’s nothing wrong with choosing to trust your partner but never to the extent of being ignorant or blind.
I am of the opinion that one should trust but verify.
When you examine the majority of infidelity cases, a common warning sign is when your partner has an excessive amount of contact with another person.
In fact, in one of my relationships, I noticed a particular guy constantly liking and commenting on my partner’s social media posts.
I had a bad feeling about it even though she claimed he was just a friend.
It was obvious to me that he was not respectful of our relationship and that this behavior is not normal.
Fast forward and I find out that she cheated with this guy and he had been pursuing her heavily under the pretense of friendship for a long time.
When something rubs you the wrong way and you can feel every cell in your body screaming, it’s best to listen to that voice and at least observe what is going on.
Even if your partner isn’t cheating on you, it could be the kind of behavior that usually triggers some form of betrayal, especially if you believe that this girl has feelings for him.
You shouldn’t be paranoid or controlling but you ought to bring it up.
It may be necessary for your to express your boundaries to your boyfriend and it may be necessary for him to adjust his own boundaries when it comes to interacting with female friends to respect your relationship.
If you feel like this is just your fear triggering you to obsess over this, then it’s important for you to address it before you become paranoid, controlling or insecure.
You need to read this article: How to overcome the fear of being cheated on
Having Boundaries Is Necessary And Healthy For Your Relationship And Yourself
Recently, I was watching Dr. John Deloney’s YouTube channel and a guy called in with a relationship problem.
He was in a 2 year relationship with an actress. She currently landed a role or position that required her to strip and dance in a provocative manner which made him incredibly uncomfortable.
She’s unwilling to stop and wants to continue to pursue her dream, even if that means stripping or appearing nude on camera for sex scenes.
This goes against the caller’s boundaries and he’s struggling to accept this issue because she’s unwilling to compromise, even if he asked her to.
This is a perfect example of differing values.
Right or wrong aside, the two of them have conflicting values. He cannot ignore his values nor can he adopt values that do not align with his core beliefs.
It doesn’t make him insecure or wrong.
He has every right to feel the way he does and she has every right to feel the way she does.
Dr. John Deloney said that he should have a clear conversation with her and decide if he needs to walk away from the relationship with love or he needs to decide if he can change his mind about her on screen behavior.
What he can’t do is pretend that it doesn’t bother him.
If he does, it’s going to fester within him until he explodes. If one of them is unwilling to change their mind, the risk of experiencing resentment skyrockets.
Read the comment sections and you’ll find some people completely agreeing with him while others disagree with him.
This perfectly illustrates the difference in values people have and why it’s unreliable to base your actions entirely on the opinion of others, especially about your own values.
If you feel like this behavior is concerning to you and it’s making you feel uncomfortable, then you should have a conversation with your boyfriend about it.
Find out if he knows her and whether they communicate.
This information is important for you to decide on whether it encroaches on your boundaries or if it’s something harmless that actually won’t bother you going forward.
The fact that you sought out this article online tells me that it is affecting you on some level.
I used to be more open minded when it came to partner’s being close with their exes or with guy friends because I was told that it’s the ‘right’ thing to do.
But, I always felt bothered by it.
When I’m in a relationship, it’s with the intention of marrying my partner and I realized that I was not comfortable with this idea or value system at all.
I tried to force myself to be okay with it and ironically, it was in the very same relationship that I was deceived and cheated on.
My regret was that I put myself through unfair suffering and discomfort to accommodate something that didn’t align with my value system and was exceeding my boundaries.
You can’t stop someone from cheating but you have every right to exercise your boundaries and values.
In this day and age, we are all too familiar with social cues that indicate interest and desire.
No man or woman is going to like everything a person posts without some interest or desire unless they’re family or were always friends who never had any interest in each other.
Even then, the whole idea of the sexes truly being friends without one party eventually developing some feelings of attraction is up for debate.
Let’s be honest, there are people out there who don’t care about interfering with a relationship.
In fact, they don’t care about hurting others as long as they can get what they want. Not everyone has the same values and there are people who have no problem with ‘stealing’ another person’s partner or spouse.
Give yourself some degree of certainty by having a conversation with your partner.
Sometimes, conversations like these end up revealing more truths about your partner and where you stand with them in the relationship.
A quick little test is to comment on your boyfriend’s post in a loving and romantic way. Observe his behavior while letting it be known that you are aware of his social media presence. Sure, it can be viewed as a little childish having to do this but it’s harming nobody and it may provide you with that comfort you need right now.
Perhaps this concern stems from a place of insecurity.
I would advise you to intrinsically explore that possibility and find a reason for it.
Either you’re fearful and insecure due to old trauma and wounds or your partner hasn’t provided you with some reasons to feel that way.
It could be both.
Getting to the root cause of insecurity proves to be more effective at overcoming relationship issues than it is to focus on just the symptoms or external circumstances.
You should be able to have a conversation with your boyfriend about this issue without it leading to a breakup or big problem.
You need to read this article: Why do I get jealous when my boyfriend talks to another girl?
Every relationship has it’s fair share of troubles and problems but if you work together, with trust and honesty, the two of you will grow together and develop a bond that can withstand most tests.
I am of the opinion that a couple should honor each other and you should get precedence over some girl on social media who is liking his posts.
If they’re in contact and it makes you uncomfortable, speak up for yourself and express your boundaries.
If it’s harmless activity on social media that he doesn’t even pay attention to, then let it slide and observe.
Do what makes you feel comfortable and assured without overstepping or being disrespectful.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on whether or not you should be worried if a girl likes everything your boyfriend posts. If you’d like my help personally, check out my Services Page for more information on my email coaching/consults.