She Texted Me After The First Date. Now What?

You went on a first date, had a good time, got back home and find a text on your phone from her. Perhaps, it’s been a while since you’ve had good luck like this or maybe you’ve read my book a handful of times and applied the principles in it successfully (shameless plug). What does it mean if she texted you after the first date?

It’s a sign of her attraction and growing interest if she texted you after the first date. The date probably went well and she had a good time. That’s great. But, it’s also important to assess what she said to you and whether or not it implies that she’s excited to be around you or if she’s just being polite.

More often than not, guys are impatient when it comes to dating. 

They want to move things along at a specific pace that may not match the pace at which women move. 

Instead of waiting for her to text after the first date, the need for certainty motivates guys to reach out and express how much fun they had.

I would like to argue that this is counterproductive.

Uncertainty and anticipation are the building blocks for desire. Not knowing how someone feels about you creates many opportunities for you to think and fantasize about them. 

This is a crucial stage during the courtship that guys cut short to their own detriment.

Women tend to fall in love slower than men.

Unlike us, they are not easily swayed by physical attraction alone.

We guys can hang out with a beautiful girl two or three times and convince ourselves that we have fallen in love based on physical attraction alone.

Women are more in tune with their feelings and they look for more than just physical attraction to base their feelings on.

What’s going to engage a woman’s feelings more?

Removing all anticipation and uncertainty by spewing your feelings of attraction onto her after the first date or letting her wonder about you for some time?

Obviously, the latter.

Why am I bringing this up?

Good question.

The reason why we are focusing on not confessing feelings early on is because the first telltale sign of interest is when a woman initiates contact after the first date to express how much of a good time she had with you.

So, as a guy, you should wait for her to text you after the first date.

Alternatively, wait a few days and then reach out to her and set the next date.

What you don’t need to do is send her a text the minute after the first date ends to let her know how amazing she is and how much fun you had after the first date. 

I approach this as a simple test to determine attraction and interest level.

Here’s the thing.

If a girl fails the test, I know that she isn’t worth my time and effort because she doesn’t value it as much as she should.

That’s her loss.

You have to adopt this mindset in life or else you risk chasing after the validation and attention of people who do not care about you or value you. 

That is a recipe for disaster.

You will get used and you will waste precious months or years of your life on a woman who will eventually friendzone or ghost you for another guy.

Think about it for a second.

You’re exerting all this effort to court and date her. You’re paying for the date, taking her out, giving her a good time, protecting her while she’s with you and possibly dropping her home.

And she can’t even take a minute to text you afterward to thank you for the lovely time? 

Is that really the kind of woman you want to waste your time and money on?

A younger version of me would have but I would certainly not.

I know better.

You need to read this article: How often should you text a girl?

How To Get A Second Date With Her

So, waiting for a woman to text you after the first date is not only a great way to nurture desire and interest but it’s also a solid way of testing interest and attraction level in a woman.

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ll just cut my losses at this point.

Something could have come up.

Perhaps, her grandmother passed away the next day or something along the lines of that.

It’s possible that she’s playing hard to get and is testing you to see what your next move will be. 

I’ll wait a few days until I want to see her again and then I’ll call her.

Pay attention to what I said.

I’ll call her, not text her.

It’s a lot easier to set a second date over the phone than it is by texting unless a girl had a high level of interest in you.

If she gives me some kind of excuse without offering a date for when she’d be available to meet, I’ll tell her that’s okay and we can do it some other time.

That’s the end for me.

I won’t call her again to set a date because she’s clearly showing low interest.

If she gives me a date for when we can see each other, there’s still a chance and I can nurture something with each date.

This applies to the case of a woman who doesn’t text you after the first date and seems abit indifferent.

Now, let’s talk about what you should do if she texted you after the first date.

You’re going to text for a little and then end the conversation.

Most guys make the mistake of trying to get to know her over text after the first date.

They’ll text day and night as if that isn’t going to remove any need for a meeting.

Why would you remove all anticipation and excitement from the courtship by sitting on the phone texting with a girl all day and night?

Trust me, I’ve made this mistake in the past and you’ll get friend-zoned or talk her out of liking you by texting too much.

A more attractive thing to do is wait for some time and then text her to set the next date. Better yet, give her a call two or three days after the first date to have a short conversation and set the next date. 

The last time she connected with you was on the first date. She had a good time and her attraction has been growing during the days between the first date and this call.

She has probably thought about you, talked about the date to her friends and wondered about you.

It’s an ideal time to call and set the next date.

As usual, be charming and playful.

Make her laugh or smile on the phone and then ask her when she’s free. Whichever day she offers, if it works for you, set a time and place to meet. 

Be definite about the date.

Women like it when men plan dates. 

It shows initiative and the ability to lead. 

These are attractive traits in a man.

If you struggle with this stuff, you need to check out my eBook manual on getting the girl of your dreams. It contains everything you need to know from getting a first date to making her fall in love with you. Click here to grab a copy now.

You need to read this article: Why less is more when texting a girl

Final Thoughts

You’re on the right track if she texted you after the first date.

That’s usually a positive sign unless she texts you to state otherwise or rejects you kindly.

Anything other than that is good and all you have to do is be patient and set the next date after a day or two.

We don’t want to be too desperate or needy by trying to set the second date on the same day as the first date.

Give her a call in a day or two, be charming and funny or sweet and use this opportunity to set the second date.

With time, she’s going to text you more often, especially as her interest grows.

Women make it incredibly easy to see them and date them when they like you.

Keep that in mind.

With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article on what it means and what to do if she texts you after the first date. If you’d like my personal help, check out my email coaching package on my services page. You’ll get access to my coaching for 30 days