Nothing is more frustrating than a woman running hot and cold. At first, everything is just peaches and cream and then it all just takes a nasty turn. She brings up the need to talk and that conversation leads to her asking for some time and space. This brings us to the topic of this article, she says she needs time, how long should I wait?
You should wait for as long as you are willing to. Love and commitment cannot be forced or rushed. For this reason, it’s best that you give her time to process her feelings and clear her thoughts.
The reason why I think that you should wait for as long as you are willing is because you can’t put your life on hold forever.
Only you will know what feels right for you.
I could tell you to wait for 3 months or 3 years but that won’t mean much to you because it doesn’t take into account your feelings, your expectations and life circumstances.
What I do know is that when a woman usually says she needs time, it means that you’re moving too fast and need to slow down.
I’ve seen this happen far too many times to count.
Generally speaking, men tend to fall in love much faster than women. When they do, their natural inclination is to assume that she feels the same way.
In other words, we project our feelings onto women.
This can cause unnecessary problems to arise because this is an illusion.
She may not be nearly as emotionally invested as you are, if at all.
So, since you started behaving in a certain way and pushing the courtship forward faster than she is ready for, it has scared her.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she feels completely overwhelmed by the pace that you are moving at.
And now, she feels like she needs time to figure out how she feels before continuing down this path so quickly.
What I know with certainty is if you don’t take heed to her warning, you will most likely lose her.
Chasing her and moving things too fast is what got you into this situation in the first place. By doing the same thing now, you’re only going to push her away altogether.
With that being said, let’s take a deeper look at the reasons why she needs time and space so that you can decide how long you should wait.
Related post: How to keep her interested (18 brilliant tips)
1. You overwhelmed her with contact
Too much texting and calling can actually have a negative effect on attraction because it can come across as desperate and clingy.
Not a lot of people can handle someone who is needy and clingy, especially during the early days of courtship.
It can lead others to feel overwhelmed and boxed in with you which is never a good feeling. If you’re the type of guy to constantly blow up a girl’s phone, you need to dial it back or else you’re going to overwhelm her.
And when she’s overwhelmed, I wouldn’t be surprised if she asks you for some time and space because you haven’t given her any until now.
Related post: 6 Reasons to stop texting first
2. You’re moving too fast
If there’s just one thing you take away from this article, let it be this – love cannot be forced or rushed.
It will develop and mature at its own pace in each and every one of us.
When it comes to being in a relationship, you have to be patient enough to wait until both of you are ready to make the commitment of being with each other.
It can be quite scary to a woman when a guy tries to rush her into a commitment when she’s not ready.
Instead of agreeing to be with you, she starts to feel pressured and scared to the point that she needs time to think about whether you’re the one for her and if she can give you a relationship.
For this reason, it’s better to take things slow and to wait until she shows you some signs of being ready to be with you.
Related post: Why is she acting distant all of a sudden?
3. She’s confused about her feelings
Those early phases of courtship can be extremely confusing for people and I wouldn’t be surprised if she experiences both excitement and fear to be with you.
Depending on how you behave and the flow of the dates, it can either give her assurance or doubt about how things are progressing.
In that case, it’s only fair to assume that she is genuinely confused about her feelings and needs more time to better understand them.
4. She’s still working through her past issues
Unresolved feelings for an ex or trust issues that stem from poor relationships can weigh heavily on someone throughout their lives.
When you’re dealing with a woman who has been through a traumatic past, she is bound to be more vulnerable and volatile in highly emotional situations.
It’s not any fault of hers and she could be an incredibly strong person but that doesn’t mean she’s able to just navigate big changes in her life without some resistance from the past.
If that happens to be the case, she will need time to adjust and ease into these changes in the relationship and her life.
One thing is for sure, if you try to convince her to be in a relationship, you will most likely lose her.
5. She’s not looking for a serious relationship
If she’s only on the market right now to casually date and wants to explore her options, then you should expect that she’s going to ask for some time when you try to move things forward.
At the end of the day, you’re going to meet some amazing women who have great chemistry with you but who are not looking for a serious commitment.
You can choose to wait until they do, which would require you to exert a lot of emotional self-control or you can choose to meet someone who is looking for a similar type of commitment as you are.
The choice is up to you.
6. She’s using it as an excuse to push you away
There are a lot of women who will try to avoid hurting you by rejecting you in a roundabout way. This is one of those ways.
By asking you for time, she’ll actually use it to gradually distance herself from you until she fades out of your life altogether.
The situation can be salvaged if you alter your behavior but even this is not guaranteed to re-attract her.
You’ll notice that her texts seem less enthusiastic than they once did. Then, she’ll stop replying to you as much as she used to and she’ll always have an excuse for why she can’t meet you right now.
Eventually, those texts will dry up and you won’t hear from her again.
Essentially, she’s asking you for some time to fade out of your life.
Related post: When to give up on a girl you like
Should you give her time?
Yes, absolutely. You should give her time because it’s highly likely that chasing her has caused this issue.
In response to this problem, you shouldn’t continue to chase her.
Alter your behavior and let her know that you’re secure.
This will be a time that requires a great deal of patience and emotional self-control.
Believe me when I tell you that she’s going to be watching you and analyzing your behavior.
If you start to freak out and lose yourself with emotional declarations of love that make you look desperate, I’m telling you that this will make her view you as unattractive.
Instead, be confident that she will eventually come back or that you will find someone else who is dying to be with you.
When you can change your behavior and project yourself as a confident and strong man who isn’t willing to sell his self-respect for the love of others, I’m willing to bet that she will start to find you attractive again.
Related post: Should I tell her how I feel?
To summarize, she says she needs time, how long should I wait? You should wait for as long as you are willing to. Love and commitment cannot be forced or rushed. For this reason, it’s best that you give her time to process her feelings and clear her thoughts.
I know that it’s incredibly difficult to maintain some degree of emotional self-control in this situation but you must try because it will prevent you from looking desperate and crazy.
Give her some time and space. Be reasonable about it. Back off a little and give her space to miss you.
If she comes back, then all you have to do is take things a little slower and focus on having fun. If she doesn’t come back, walk away knowing that your self-respect is intact and you didn’t act desperate.
With that being said, I hope you found this article to be insightful and thought-provoking. If you would like personalized email coaching, check out my services page for more information. Also, be sure to check out my book on How To Get The Girl Of Your Dreams.