You’ve been eyeing this girl for a while, you texted her, even went out on a date or two but when you tried to get her to meet you again, she says she is busy with work.
At first, you bought it. Perhaps she is swamped with deadlines.
But then you notice that she’s out and about socializing and having fun.
Maybe you find out that she’s actually dating other people or she isn’t all that busy with work.
This leaves you feeling confused and bothered because you felt as if things were off to a great start.
What could have possibly gone wrong?
The truth of the matter is that if a woman rejects your proposition to go on a date and she says she is busy with work without giving you a timeline of when she’s free, she’s blowing you off.
It sucks but it’s the truth.
No woman who has the hots for you is going to risk losing you by not offering a different time or place to meet.
I understand that work is important for career-orientated women but if she already met you before then what’s changed now?
If this is just a short wave of deadlines at work, surely she would offer to come up with a counter for when she can carve out some time to meet you?
It becomes abundantly clear that she’s just making an excuse if she replies to your offer to meet with something along the following lines, ‘I’m not sure or I don’t know‘.
Related post: She doesn’t want to be exclusive – reasons and solutions
Reasons why she’s losing interest in you
By familiarizing yourself with the reasons why she says she is busy with work (also known as, not interested), you can adjust your approach to change her mind and re-attract her.
1. You chased her too much
The best way to chase a woman out of your life is to chase after her.
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Feelings of attraction develop in persona and in absence.
When you chase after someone, it not only removes the possibility of her having the opportunity to miss you but it sucks the mystery out of the situation.
Additionally, chasing makes you look desperate and weak.
A man who views himself as a prize will not chase but subtly pursue.
Related post: How to make her chase you after a breakup
Texting her all day, sitting on phone calls for hours, interacting on social networking apps and trying to convince her that you’re great are all actions considered to fall under the umbrella of chasing.
2. She’s dating other people
It’s not uncommon these days for people to be casually dating multiple people until they find someone who stands out the most.
This could very well be the case and she’s currently enjoying another guy’s company more than yours.
That’s tough to hear but it could be the case, especially if he is doing more things right than you are.
Related post: Why is she ignoring me?
3. You did enough to turn her off
Unfortunately, you could have made too many mistakes that turned her off and ruined the attraction. It happens far too often which is partly why I created this blog.
To help you avoid making these kinds of mistakes.
Chasing her, moving too fast, coming across as needy, being boring, asking inappropriate questions or making rude remarks can all have a negative effect on attraction.
Related post: How to make her like you – 15 tips that work
4. You’re moving too fast
As I mentioned above, moving too fast can actually scare her away and turn her off.
Sometimes, it can be easily misinterpreted as desperation which in turn makes a woman think that there’s something wrong with you to be wanting her so desperately.
Also, it might just be too soon and she still hasn’t decided whether she likes you in that way or not.
Avoid talking about exclusivity and the future with someone whom you just started seeing.
Related post: When a girl says she is not ready for a relationship
5. You’re not being a challenge
Things of value like a prize are often challenging to attain.
You have to work for it and put in the effort. If not, the prize is up for the taking to anyone else who comes along and does a better job than you.
But, when you chase, court too much, spew your feelings and make all the effort with a woman you just started seeing, rather than fall for you she may actually get bored of you.
Why?
Because she knows that you are so into her that with the click of a button, you can be hers.
How to win her back
You’re going to hate this because I know how much guys feel like taking action is the only solution available to them but my advice to you would be as follows – do nothing.
When you’ve done too much too quickly, the only way to undo your mistakes is to gradually do less and allow her to come to you.
Rather than frequently texting or calling her until she agrees to see you again or make time to communicate, just stop.
Do this when she has rejected your proposition to meet on two occasions.
Unless she has offered a different date to meet, it’s best to walk away and wait for her to reach out again.
Because in my opinion and from experience, anything you do from now onwards will have little to no effect on her.
Trying to win her back by actually courting her or making an effort won’t work.
The most effective approach is to start playing hard to get yourself.
You can literally plant the seed of doubt in someone’s mind by inviting silence into the ‘relationship’.
In other words, carry on with your life and stop reaching out to them when they think that you are head over heels in love with them.
They almost expect you to chase them after being rejected.
Instead, by walking away, you cast a shadow of doubt over their perception of you.
Alternatively, if you were acting like a cold fish and didn’t flirt enough or make a move, now would actually be the time to turn it up a notch.
This rarely happens which is why I didn’t talk about it until now but just on the off chance that you were too standoffish and didn’t take any chances at courting her, the opposite of inaction would be more fruitful to you.
Only in such an instance would I encourage you to be more forthcoming with how you feel and courting her a bit of intensity because that’s what she actually may want from you.
Again, I want to emphasize, this only applies to situations when you acted disinterested in her for too long and she lost interest in you because she feels like you actually don’t like her all that much.
Related post: How to win a woman back after hurting her
I think it is imperative that you practice patience. It’s a virtue that is instrumental for success in your dating life because you can’t control the timeline for when someone will fall in love with you.
Far too many men get impatient and make the mistake of doing too much in hopes of speeding along the time it takes her to go from interested in you to gaga over you.
It doesn’t work that way.
All your effort will amount to nothing if she just isn’t ready, isn’t as attracted to you, or is entertaining other guys.
There’s something referred to as improvement by subtraction.
Essentially, it is the act of improving a skill or yourself by reducing the number of bad or wrong decisions you make on a daily basis.
Trust me when I tell you that by refining your dating game and ironing out these little mistakes, you will be in a prime position to snatch up the next love of your life.
With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article on why she says she is busy with work and what you can do about it. Please feel free to leave your thoughts or questions in the comment section below.