Recently, a guy contacted me for help and this was the subject line in his email – She just wants to be friends but keeps texting me! He couldn’t figure out what it means and if he should keep texting her. I helped explain the situation to him clearly and we managed to turn things around. Here’s what I told him about why she just wants to be friends but keeps texting you.
She just wants to be friends but keeps texting you, either because she’s the type of girl who enjoys male attention and thrives on it or because she genuinely cares about you as a friend. Alternatively, she’s intrigued by the fact that you didn’t agree to being friends and chose to walk away from her after being friendzoned.
Unfortunately, in all of these scenarios, you don’t gain much from texting with her.
Far too often, men chase after the dangling carrot until it’s snatched away altogether by a woman who has no interest in ever letting you get close enough to have a chance at being with her.
There’s a difference between a woman who has reconsidered her decision to friendzone you and a woman who is breadcrumbing you for attention or to test your resolve as a man.
In the former case, you’ll find that she does more than just text you. In her texts, she appears flirty, playful and forward. In fact, she may go so far as to bring up the idea of seeing you again and going out on a date.
That is definitely a sign of romantic interest from a woman who friendzoned you.
In the latter case, a woman will keep texting you infrequently to see if your actions are consistent with your words.
You need to read this article: What to do when an avoidant pushes you away
The Reason Why She Texts You After Friendzoning You
She’s surprised by the fact that you are not chasing her and that you chose to walk away after being friendzoned.
By texting you, she wants to see if you’ll drop everything to just text her and if you are hung up on her.
This is when it becomes incredibly important for a man to remain indifferent and to keep any conversations with her short and sweet.
Unless she brings up the idea of getting together or she agrees to seeing you, don’t waste your time sitting on the phone texting her.
Eventually, she’ll begin to fade away or ghost you altogether.
What a woman like this is looking for is validation.
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She wants to know whether or not she can have you by simply texting you even after you choose to walk away.
I’m not saying that you need to ignore her.
If this is the first instance of texting after she friendzoned you, proceed as if she has changed her mind and ask her out for coffee.
Gentlemen, this is a test.
A woman who has changed her mind will agree to meet and a woman who hasn’t will simply give you the runaround or cancel on you.
In the event that she is flaky or cancels, never ask her out again.
Furthermore, if she contacts you again, keep it polite but leave the conversation shortly. Don’t stick around to chit-chat with her.
Tell her that you’re really busy and it’s good to hear from her but you have to run, take care and have a great day.
Then, leave the conversation.
That’s how you handle a woman who wants to be friends but keeps texting you despite knowing that you’re only interested in pursuing something romantic with her.
You need to read this article: What to do after a girl rejects you
Why You Need To Walk Away From A Woman Who Wants To Just Be Friends
Before we continue with this article, I want to give you credit for refusing to accept friendship when it isn’t something that you actually want.
It’s weak and disrespectful to yourself to accept an offer for friendship when you are only interested in them romantically.
In the same breath, I’m aware of how difficult it is to walk away. I’m sure that you have a great deal of attraction for and investment in this woman. Walking away isn’t easy but it’s the correct thing to do in this scenario.
You’ll respect yourself and be more confident knowing that you have the courage and strength to walk away from someone you care about who isn’t willing, ready, able or open to pursuing something with you.
I’m willing to bet that she will respect you for it.
One thing we know about women is that they can never truly love someone without respect.
This is the problem with agreeing to be friends with a woman that you are romantically interested in.
She knows that you want to be romantically involved with her but you’re so afraid of walking away that you’re willing to settle for friendship.
Women don’t respect weak men who are not willing to exercise strength and courage for what they want and believe in.
You’re better off walking away from her forever and being respected for it than agreeing to be friends and losing all respect as a man in her eyes.
You need to read this article: When you stop caring she starts chasing
How To Avoid Being Friendzoned
Something that most guys who are single should do is spend some time being completely by themselves.
This will mean that you must step away from dating altogether.
Don’t pursue anyone and don’t be on the lookout.
Do this for just long enough that you begin to believe that you are more than capable of being happily single.
More importantly, do this long enough until you prove to yourself that you don’t need a woman.
When your prerogative is to pursue women because you want to rather than need to, that’s when it’s easier to have success in relationships.
You’ll shed neediness and desperation from your behavior and that will be incredibly attractive to most women.
Also, when you run into a situation like this, you’ll be more equipped to deal with it appropriately than to fall victim to neediness, desperation and weakness.
I remember a time when I was fresh out of a relationship and I tried dating again.
Thankfully, I didn’t have an issue attracting women but I had a huge issue keeping them or walking away from them.
Every time a woman would begin to pull away or try to friendzone me, I’d unravel because I had not allowed myself the opportunity to center myself as a man.
Only when I took some time to be single and by myself was I able to re-enter the marketplace and have way more success the next time around.
If I couldn’t see myself being friends with a woman, I’d respectfully walk away and leave the door open for her to contact me if she had a change of mind.
It was the best thing that I learned to do because it preserved my dignity and also helped me to gravitate more toward women who showed a high level of romantic interest in me.
You’re not going to get friendzoned as much by women who have a high level of interest in and attraction to you.
They make things so much easier and simpler.
It’s not a headache to pursue or court women like that and you’ll often experience the joys of an easy-to-navigate relationship.
Believe me, a happy relationship with a woman who genuinely adores you is much better than the thrill associated with pursuing a woman who presents challenges at every turn.
You need to read this article: Why does my ex want to be friends?
Final Thoughts
Don’t give your attention and affection to a woman who doesn’t appreciate it. Don’t give it to a woman who wants to be friends either.
You should not be bitter or rude about it either.
At the end of the day, we can’t force someone to feel romantic love for us. In fact, I would argue that it goes against the very idea of love.
We should give people the space and opportunity to choose us.
That’s when love means something.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on what it means if she just wants to be friends but keeps texting you to be helpful. I strongly encourage you to grab a copy of my eBook that details everything you need to do to escape and avoid the friendzone. Click here for more information on The Attraction Game eBook.