She Doesn’t Want To Be Exclusive – Reasons And Solutions


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Allow me to set the stage quickly. You really like this girl. You’ve been courting her for a while and decided to ask her about being yours. In response, she makes it clear that she doesn’t want to be exclusive. 

Not only does this hurt but it confuses you. What reason could she possibly have for not wanting to be exclusive with you? 

This rejection of sorts starts to eat away at you. It affects your confidence and makes you feel incredibly desperate or anxious, if not both. 

Before we get into what you should do if she doesn’t want to be exclusive, we need to discuss the signs that she isn’t interested in you and the reasons why. 

Signs she isn’t interested in you

The following are often the most common occurring signs that she just isn’t that interested in you and is far from being ready to be exclusive. 

My advice to you would be as follows – step out of your shoes for a second and analyze her behavior from the last month.

If she exhibits at least two or more of these signs below, the chances of her actually being ready for a relationship with you is relatively low. 

Honesty with yourself is paramount for this exercise to be fruitful and helpful at all.

Related post: Signs she doesn’t care about you and why

1. She never flirts with you

Flirting is one of the languages of attraction and love.

Often, we can’t help ourselves and proclaim statements that are known to be flirtatious.

A woman will only flirt with guys she finds attractive. 

Granted, there are women who may flirt with someone to get something from them.

But, apart from that, women, in general, will try to avoid leading a guy on if she doesn’t find him attractive or if she’s not interested in him for other reasons. 

2. She cancels at the last minute

If someone cancels every now and then, it’s okay. Things happen. Emergencies are often unpredictable. 

But, if she continuously agrees to dates only to cancel just before it’s time to meet, that’s indicative of her low interest in you. Women will prioritize men they want to date. The same can be said for men. 

A telltale sign is when her excuses for canceling seem far fetched or ridiculous and she doesn’t offer a specific time or date to reschedule for. 

3. She doesn’t text you often

Would you believe that the average American checks their phone every 12 minutes for about 80 times per day?

If a woman was genuinely interested in being exclusive with you, do you think she’d find time to text you during any of the 80 times she checks her phone in a day? I think so! 

I don’t care how busy someone is, they’ll find the time to text or call someone they care about, especially if there’s a hot and brewing romance in their life.

4. She talks about other guys

Women are inundated with requests online from guys who are interested in them.

It’s absolutely crazy.

Be that as it may, they won’t entertain everyone and if they’re genuinely interested in someone to the extent of wanting a relationship, they’ll mostly ghost or stop paying attention to them.

If she isn’t and you find that you’re not much of a priority to her, then it’s very possible that she’s entertaining other ‘candidates’. 

5. She doesn’t feel jealous 

If I’m being honest, even the most secure person is always susceptible to experiencing jealousy.

To some extent, we’re all wired to be possessive of what we want and what we care about.

Jealousy can be a healthy factor in attraction.

If you notice that she exhibits zero signs of being jealous, even when you’re clearly being hit on by another woman, she may not feel all that into you.

Alternately, it could mean that she knows you’re whipped and stuck on her. 

Reasons why she doesn’t want to be exclusive

Now that we know what signs to look out for that indicate low interest or not being ready for a relationship, let’s talk about all the possible reasons why she doesn’t want to be exclusive. 

1. You chased her too much

The number one way to chase a girl out of your life is to chase after her too fast and too much. Romance takes time. You can’t rush the process.

Feelings develop in the presence of someone and in their absence.

But, if you’re always chasing after her, she may never have the time to think about you let alone miss you.

These things are imperative.

You must facilitate the development of feelings by acting like a man of value.

Related post: How to make her miss you like crazy

2. You’re not a challenge

As humans, we are socialized or taught to value that which we have to work for. In other words, we place a greater value on things that appear as a prize and not easy to get.

By being too easy and offering your love and commitment on a silver platter to someone who has done nothing to earn it, you undervalue your worth in their eyes.

Let her chase after you a bit.

Don’t call her all the time. Don’t be the only one to make arrangements. Don’t be a pushover and stand your ground when what you believe is being wrongfully challenged. 

3. She’s on the rebound

After going through a breakup, some people tend to jump into another relationship, some people decide to casually date indefinitely and others decide to stay away from serious relationships until the time is right.

If she falls into the latter two categories, then it shouldn’t be a surprise that she doesn’t want to be exclusive with you as yet. 

4. She’s a commitmentphobe

One of the hardest things to do is convince someone to commit when they are deathly afraid of it.

If anything, you can’t convince them.

The willingness to commit is intrinsic. They must desire you enough to act in spite of their phobia.

If they can’t, then even if they genuinely like you, exclusivity may not be on the cards for them as yet. 

5. She doesn’t trust you

Without trust, you have nothing. No relationship can last without a foundation of trust.

Perhaps she has a fear of being cheated on, a fear of being dumped or you presented yourself as a player.

Whichever it may be, until her trust issues are resolved, she’s not going to gift all of herself to you.

6. She’s just not that into you

I hate to say it but it’s a possibility. You could have done everything right and she could have even found you to be attractive but if that special something is missing, there’s nothing much you can really do about it.

People will feel the way they feel.

Your actions may have some degree of influence on their feelings but only up until a certain point.

If you’re doing everything right and the chemistry of attraction just isn’t there, you may have to accept it and move on. 

Related post: When a girl says she’s not ready for a relationship

Here’s what you need to do

In most cases, the ideal solution is to slow things down, stop bringing up the topic of exclusivity and focus on having fun.

If she actually likes you, then in time, she’ll let you know when she feels ready to be exclusive with you.

All you have to focus on is meeting her more, having fantastic dates and making her feel good.

Get closer to her and the transition into an exclusive relationship will happen naturally and easily.

If the problem is that you did too many things wrong, then gradually start distancing yourself and when you do interact with her, try to fix your mistakes from before and do things better.

In time, you’ll start to change her perception of you and improve your chance of making her want you.

Trust me, by becoming a man of true value, you immensely improve your chances of making her fall in love with you.

Lastly, if she has rejected you completely and is just not interested in you right now, try walking away and using no contact

Sometimes, this may be the last power move you have at your disposal that actually turns things around.

She may never come back or she may realize that you do respect yourself and she may have made a mistake rejecting you. 

With that being said, I genuinely hope you found this article on what to do if she doesn’t want to be exclusive to be insightful. Please feel free to share your thoughts and questions in the comment section below. 

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