12 Reasons Why You Should Block Your Ex And For How Long!

Are you feeling guilty for wanting to block your ex? Most people do. It’s not easy to cut off someone you care about or once shared a life with. Perhaps, you’re confused and you’d like some help on figuring out your next move. If so, then this article will help because I’m going to provide reasons why you should block your ex and how long you should block your ex.

Depending on the reasons for why you should block your ex, it could be forever or up until you feel like enough time has lapsed for you to consider unblocking your ex and possibly opening the doors for communication between the two of you. 

Anyone who advises you to block someone for a specific period of time in order to elicit a specific reaction or result is misleading you. 

People frequently change and no person on this planet can accurately predict another person’s behavior, action for action. 

In the event that you block your ex, examine your motivation for doing so and be clear about what you are trying to achieve for yourself. 

Having a strong motivation or reason for blocking your ex will prevent you from changing your mind impulsively or when you experience feelings of doubt, curiosity, loneliness or nostalgia. 

Over the last couple of years, I have coached many people who found themselves in a situation that necessitated a complete elimination of all contact with their ex.

While fired up, they pulled the trigger and blocked their ex. 

But, they weren’t clear on the reason. They relied solely on a passing emotion. When they experienced loneliness, doubt, confusion, uncertainty, nostalgia and so forth, they struggled with their decision.

With these emotions controlling their mind, they impulsively unblock their ex. 

Most of the time, it would result in further rejection, an argument, coldness or something unhealthy. 

Then, they’d be plunged into another emotion like regret and this would make them block their ex all over again.

This can turn into a cycle with devastating effects on your mental and emotional well being as well as on your ex. 

That is not a caring or loving thing to do to yourself or someone who you shared a life with, even if it was for a short amount of time. 

I share this story with you because I want to illustrate the ramifications of making a permanent decision on temporary emotions. 

Before blocking or unblocking your ex, I encourage you to sit down, close your eyes and meditate on your reason for blocking your ex or unblocking your ex.

Do not rely solely on how you feel.

I want you to consider all the relevant factors such as your future plans, what you’re looking for in a partner, why your relationship didn’t work out and everything in-between.

Then, I want you to sleep and make a decision the next morning.

Typically, when people perform this little exercise, by the next day, they’ve changed their mind.

Enough time passes for their body to calm down, for their emotions to regulate a bit and for rational thoughts to appear clearly.

That’s when they are capable of making the correct decision.

Usually, when you conduct this exercise, you’ll get a good idea on how long you should block your ex. 

The answer will reside within your gut and it will reflect within the answers to the questions you ask yourself during the meditation performed above.

It may not be an answer you like or feel good about but it will be the correct answer for you.

Be that as it may, let’s go over some reasons why you should block your ex. If nothing resonates with you in the list below, then it’s probably okay for you to block your ex temporarily or not at all.

You need to read this article: Should I tell my ex I’m blocking him?

12 Reasons Why You Should Block Your Ex Indefinitely

1. They are toxic for you

Love is such a beautiful and pure emotion or state of being that it doesn’t discriminate. It’s not reserved only for those who are good to us. In life, there will be times when we fall in love with people who are not good to us or for us.

I suppose that is why it’s important to spend a fair amount of time learning about the qualities of a good person or partner and then becoming that person.

This allows us to develop a deeper understanding and familiarization with what a good person looks like.

So, when we find that in someone else or we discover that it’s lacking in someone else, we can protect ourselves from unnecessary pain and suffering.

Granted, life shouldn’t be lived with a defensive approach.

But, should we not value and protect something as special as the love that we have to give?

I think so.

If the object of our love is undeserving or detrimental to our own existence and happiness, we should be able to remove and redirect that love towards ourselves.

You would protect the person you love, am I correct?

Then shouldn’t you be protecting yourself from a toxic ex?

If you aren’t, should we infer that you don’t love yourself enough?

Think about this. You may find yourself surprised at how neglectful you’ve been towards your own well being for the sake of loving another. 

When you develop true love and respect for yourself, removing people who are toxic for you will follow naturally, even if you love them.

You need to read this article: Why does it hurt to leave a toxic relationship?

2. They won’t leave you alone

Loss in any capacity is difficult. Perhaps, you’re the dumper and it may seem jarring to witness your ex unravel and chase you incessantly. 

Under normal circumstances, they may not behave in this manner.

Awareness of this may encourage you to be extra soft and kind to your ex in hopes of them settling down and accepting the breakup.

But, in your attempt to be considerate and kind, you may be enabling this behavior. 

When you’ve had multiple conversations with your ex about parting ways and they refuse to see reason, you may have to block them.

Some people cannot tolerate rejection of any kind.

The need to be validated and accepted can drive them to extreme measures. From stalking you online to catfishing, it’s all unhealthy and unacceptable behavior.

When push comes to shove, you may need to block your ex for the sake of your wellbeing and for their own wellbeing.

Sometimes, a hard decision can be an act of mercy and kindness.

3. You can’t get over them

It’s not all that uncommon to find yourself stuck in the past, wishing for what has passed by you. I suppose reflection is part of the human experience but so is forward movement and progression.

You will lose people in your life who are truly phenomenal or who leave a lasting impression.

It does indicate that you valued their presence and appreciated the experience of making memories with them.

But, fixating on what or who is gone from your life will not bring them back nor will it help you to move forward.

You’ll cling and chase after a past experience with someone that may never be replicated with that person again.

It’s not healthy.

You deserve a chance at moving on in life and experiencing greater moments of accomplishment, love and joy. 

Keeping the lines of communication open may be too tempting for you.

Just because someone else can handle or manage communicating with their ex doesn’t imply that you can or even should.

Listen to your heart and observe the way you’ve been acting, thinking and feeling towards this whole situation with your ex.

If you’re fixating on the past, struggling with the separation and miserable while yearning for them all the time, it would be best for you to block them and close the door to all communication for the sake of your future and wellbeing.

Distance only makes the heart grow fonder for a short amount of time.

Eventually, with enough distance and time, you’ll break free from the attachment of wanting your ex or your attachment to your past relationship.

Perhaps, that distance will give your feelings of romantic love to transform into a more platonic form of care instead.

You need to read this article: Why can’t I move on from my ex?

4. It’s vital for your current relationship

There’s many conflicting views regarding the idea of being friends with an ex while you’re in a relationship.

Some people are for it, others are against it.

When making a decision like this, you need to examine what matters more to you.

The friendship with your ex or the relationship you’re trying to cultivate and nurture.

Furthermore, examining whether being friends with your ex serves you in any real manner is crucial. Sometimes, we risk losing a relationship for the sake of winning an argument rather than honoring our true feelings. 

That seems foolish to me, especially if you don’t really feel truly strongly about keeping your ex around.

Would you be happier and in a more loving or secure relationship by letting go of your ex altogether?

Also, would it be loving to your partner to commit entirely to your relationship with them by blocking your ex?

Depending on the answer, you may want to consider blocking your ex forever.

5. You need time to heal

You can’t heal in the same place that made you sick nor would the same people who sicken you.

This is by no means to say that your ex is intentionally hurting you or keeping you from healing.

But, often, remaining in contact with a person who no longer holds the same position in your life that they once did can be a constant reminder of what you have lost or left.

It may hurt you, cloud your judgment, riddle you with doubt, infect you with guilt and torment you with rumination.

Sometimes, the decisions made in our relationship that led to its demise may haunt us to the point that we are unable to forgive ourselves and heal.

Forgiveness does not nullify personal responsibility and accountability.

If anything, it creates the necessary environment for you to grow as a person and make amends with your ex.

Amends can sometimes even take the form of setting someone free and allowing them to heal while you heal as well.

You need to read this article: How to handle rejection from a guy

6. You’re codependent or they are codependent

Codependency is defined as both an emotional and behavioral condition that prevents you from experiencing healthy relationships with boundaries. In fact, it is also referred to as an addiction to a relationship, especially to the feeling of being needed or validated.

Codependency may look like love but it’s not. 

It’s harmful to both parties and has repercussions that can affect your ability to function as an individual.

Most people who are codependent rely on their partner’s in an unhealthy manner, even if that requires some form of manipulation or guilt tripping.

Furthermore, the other party to a codependent relationship ends up sacrificing their own self interest and identity as a result of the codependency.

One should not be codependent on an ex, ever.

If you are or if you find that your ex is, take immediate action.

This doesn’t mean that you have to block your ex immediately. In fact, the idea of blocking your ex may be one of the scariest things to consider.

Try other approaches to breaking free from codependency but if all else fails, you need to block your ex.

It may be the only way for the two of you to break out of this toxic codependent situation and rediscover your identity as individuals. 

7. They won’t respect your boundaries

This is a problem that I have worked on for a long time in my life. Respecting other people’s boundaries is not an issue but exercising my own boundaries bothered me.

I felt guilty for having them and assumed that if I put my own interests first, it would make me a bad person or bad partner.

But, I’ve learnt that boundaries are non-negotiable for healthy relationships. 

It’s actually extremely caring to have boundaries, especially when they are designed to protect your relationship and ensure that you can show up to the table in the best possible way.

There is no love without respect and in life, you often have to speak up for yourself to make it known that you require respect before you show up to the table.

If someone crosses the line and oversteps your boundaries, it is your duty to inform them of this and request that they don’t do it again.

If they are unwilling to respect your boundaries and continue to overstep, it becomes your responsibility to impose some consequences.

Boundaries with consequences are nothing more than empty words.

People will only say and do to you what you allow them to.

In other words, once people cross your boundaries, you have to be willing to impose consequences.

In romantic relationships, the highest consequence for boundaries being disrespected is walking away altogether.

If your ex refuses to respect your boundaries, you should block your ex indefinitely or until they rectify their behavior.

You need to read this article: How to have a healthy relationship that lasts a lifetime

8. They are narcissistic

You will never meet a person who claims to love you but stabs you in the back or tries to ruin your life like a narcissistic ex.

They know all your weaknesses and strengths, secrets and insecurities because that’s what we share with our romantic partners.

What we expect from our partners is respect and good will, even in the event that we break up.

What we don’t expect is for them to mobilize this intimate knowledge as weapons to manipulate and control us.

Yet, that’s what occurs when you’re dealing with a narcissistic ex.

You’re not going to outsmart or outreason a narcissist. They’re not going to operate on the same playing field as you are.

It’s best to cut ties and block your ex forever if they’re a narcissist.

Save yourself because they’re definitely not going to save you. 

If anything, they’ll endanger you. 

You need to read this article: 15 Signs you’re in a bad relationship

9. You are developing an obsession with your ex

We all can agree that rejection has the ability to breed obsession. 

It’s a shock to our system when someone we love suddenly drops a bombshell on us in the form of a breakup.

We didn’t see it coming or if we did, the romantic in us hoped that the storm would pass and things would return to normal.

I don’t blame you for wanting to do everything you can to keep your ex around. Perhaps, you want to fight for your love but at what cost?

The more you try and the more you invest, the harder it becomes to let go.

You’re going to spiral each and every time your ex rejects your attempts at connecting or reconciling. 

Witnessing your ex detaching and pursuing other people will only torture you and the sight of your ex may only remind you of what has been lost.

Be kind to yourself and let them go.

You should block your ex and focus on healing from the loss. 

I promise you that it won’t hurt as much as it does now and you won’t be obsessed with your ex after blocking them for a significant amount of time.

Like an addict in rehabilitation, the withdrawal is extremely rough at first but after some time, it gets easier and easier to break free from the addiction.

You need to read this article: Why can’t I move on from my ex?

10. They’re a bad influence

If you really want to learn the truth about whether someone is good or bad for you as a partner, examine your own behavior and the way you felt about yourself while with them.

Did they encourage you to be honorable, kind, decent, ambitious, peaceful and loving or did they turn you into a version of someone who is lacking, anxious, insecure, jealous, envious, disrespectful or worse?

I’ve seen people turn into drug addicts and even criminals because they involved themselves with the wrong partner.

Don’t sacrifice your identity and your future for someone who isn’t building you up but breaking you down into someone unrecognizable.

At the end of the day, we are the sum total of the 5 closest people to us. Arguably, our romantic partner’s become the closest of the 5 people in our circle. 

You have to be extremely selective then because the wrong person could drag you down a bad path with them.

Have a zero tolerance policy for an ex who is a bad influence on you and block them forever.

11. They keep using you and stringing you along

As much as intention matters, it may not change the fact that someone’s presence or behavior is detrimental to others.

Your ex may not be looking to use you or string you along but it could happen as a side effect of keeping them in your life. 

When you give away the best parts of yourself outside of the relationship, you’re essentially devaluing the worth of those things. 

Also, you’re removing any reason for your ex to even consider getting back together because they’re getting all the perks of your love without having to return it.

If this is the case, you should block your ex indefinitely because you deserve someone who wants to give as much as they want to receive.

You need to read this article: How to get revenge on your ex who used you

12. They have completely moved on from you

Holding onto the hope of getting an ex back who has moved on from you is a waste of your time and a recipe for ongoing heartache.

Even if you were to somehow manage to lure your ex out of their relationship, would you really trust them?

Do you want someone who would leave their partner for an ex? What’s to say that they wouldn’t do that to you again?

Apart from that, you’re holding space for the wrong person.

Let your ex go and make room for the next person who wants to earn a spot in your life. 

You won’t be thinking about your ex when you’re in love with the next person who enters your life. 

To get there, you need to close the old chapter and start writing the new chapter of your love life. 

Perhaps, a clean break in the form of blocking your ex is the way forward for you.

Final Thoughts

I’m aware that this is an important decision to make and you should take as much time as you need to figure out whether to block your ex or not and for how long.

But, please, think about what’s best for yourself as well.

I’m sure that you’re concerned about your ex and you’re afraid of hurting them. That’s a sign of compassion and kindness. 

However, compassion and kindness should not only be reserved or exercised for other people. Be sure that you’re exercising those emotions on yourself. 

If your intentions are good and you’re realistic, I’m sure you’ll make the right decision.

With that being said, I hope this article on the reasons why you should block your ex was insightful and helpful. If you would like my help, consider checking out my services page for more information on my email coaching package. Until then, I wish you nothing but happiness and peace.