As a young man, I hated the idea of being alone. It caused me a great deal of pain and discomfort. But, I remember being told that I must be in bad company if I can’t handle my own company. That set me on a journey of self-discovery and solitude that changed my life. In this article, I’m going to share some profound reasons why you need to spend time alone.
You will never truly enjoy anything or anybody in life until you learn how to enjoy your own company.
No truer words have ever been uttered and it rings true for me.
The only reason why life appears more colorful and meaningful to me now is because I learned how to find comfort and love in myself.
Imagine not feeling an emptiness that drives you to seek out cheap attention and comfort. Imagine being alone but content with yourself. Imagine thinking positively about yourself when there’s nobody around to provide you with validation.
Life would be so much better, right?
You wouldn’t be plagued by negative self-talk all the time or thoughts that prevent you from chasing your potential.
It’s not that these things disappear altogether. Instead, you develop a kinder relationship with yourself even amidst self-doubt and uncertainty.
It’s easier to be selective about your romantic partners and friendships when you are not desperate to have people around you at all times.
All of this is possible if you spend time alone in a healthy and productive manner.
You need to read this article: How to cope with a breakup you don’t want.
Here’s Why You Need To Be By Yourself
1. You need time alone to build better habits.
I consider myself to be a mentally strong individual but I am still influenced by the people closest to me.
When I’m out with friends, it becomes difficult to maintain a specific diet when the choice of activity is to eat highly palatable food.
If you have a goal that is important to you or if you are trying to turn your life around, it may be necessary to spend some time alone.
They say that our personality is made up of our thoughts, feelings and actions.
What we do on a daily basis can heavily influence our thoughts and feelings and vice versa.
You need to create an environment that encourages better habits. Do this by spending time alone until you gain some momentum.
2. It will help you to process traumatic feelings.
Given that I write about relationships, it’s fair to say that I know a thing or two about the trauma of heartbreak.
I’ve been through my fair share of traumatic experiences, romantically and unromantically, that affected me for a long time.
You don’t really understand how trauma lingers in your body until you are grappling with a sudden outburst of anger, trust issues, low self-esteem, and inexplicable fear that you once did not experience.
How easy it becomes to self-sabotage when your mind, body, and soul are riddled by trauma.
What I found is that I could only deal with my trauma by spending time alone.
Sometimes, you need to get away from new stimuli that add layers of problems to your life so that you can unburden yourself from old traumatic feelings.
When I was dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, I realized that I had to step away from my ex and other people to be alone. By doing this, I was able to create the freedom and space I needed to deal with the traumatic feelings that made day-to-day life miserable.
I honestly believe that I would not have been able to do that if I kept surrounding myself with people.
Stepping away from dating was singlehandedly the best thing I did to improve my mental and emotional health because I could sink all my time, energy, and effort into improving myself.
If you are dealing with traumatic feelings, consider spending some time alone to process those emotions in a safe space.
Even if you are in the company of someone who is trustworthy and caring, you can find some time alone while in their presence to deal with your issues.
3. Time alone will ease anxiety.
Coming from a notorious codependent, it should say a lot to you about the importance of spending time alone.
I used to be riddled with discomfort when I was by myself.
This is one of the reasons why I constantly chased the comfort and validation of romantic relationships.
I was petrified and uncomfortable in my own company.
How can one be selective and make better choices about their romantic partners when they are unable to even tolerate their own company?
When I decided to embrace the discomfort and personal demons that plagued me, things changed.
Rather than be overcome by anxiety, I was able to work through my anxiety.
Instead of hating myself, I created the space and time needed to build a better relationship with myself.
Part of this boils down to deciding who I want to be as a person without the influence of a romantic partner.
Ever since then, my daily anxiety levels have significantly subsided and I enjoy my own company.
I don’t think this would have been possible if I remained resistant to spending time alone.
Try to set aside an hour in which you are alone without any distractions. Sit with your thoughts and feelings. Ponder about positive lessons you can take out of the past. Figure out who you are right now and who you want to be.
You’d be surprised how your perception of life and yourself change when you take a break from relationships to focus on being single and by yourself.
4. It gives you an opportunity to be creative.
Some of the most creative minds in history purported the benefits of spending time alone to think creatively.
By removing the constant input of stimuli, our brains have an opportunity to think and create.
It’s like losing weight.
When you stop inputting an excess amount of food into your body, it is able to let go of that stored fat.
Similarly, when you are alone and not exposed to a constant influx of input from other things and people, your mind and soul have the ability to express themselves and present ideas to you.
Sit with yourself regularly and pull out a notepad to jot down some of the ideas you have in your mind.
Do this regularly and watch how you come up with some of the most creative ideas you’ve ever had in your life.
In creativity, we find solutions to simple and complex problems.
So, even if you feel stuck in life or bored with yourself, being alone can help your brain find new and creative ways to add joy, fun, and entertainment to your life.
5. It improves focus and concentration.
The best way to rewire your brain to focus for longer periods of time is to limit the number of distractions and disturbances in your surroundings.
Look, there’s a time and place for everything.
Perhaps, like me, you have been spending a significant amount of time chasing relationships to no avail.
Why not embrace this season of your life and spend time alone?
Give yourself some time to improve your focus on self-development or something of meaning to you as an individual.
Imagine the growth that will come from focusing on something meaningful for an extended period of time!
So, instead of just spending time alone, do so with the intention of directing and improving your focus and concentration on another area of your life that could use improvement.
6. You can improve the relationships in your life.
I know that this seems counterintuitive but part of the reason most of you are reading this article is because you have hit a wall in your romantic life.
It’s okay to be alone for some time in that context.
What you can focus on is spending time cultivating other forms of relationships in your life.
Think about your friends and family who have been by your side for a long time. They deserve some of your best attention and care.
How about you spend some time improving those lifelong relationships?
If you don’t have many of these relationships in your life, why not invest some time into finding a new friend or connecting with a distant but good family member?
We’re told that the most important relationship in our life is the one with our romantic partner but I don’t think so.
This was what I felt for decades but as of late, I feel a stronger connection with the people in my life and with my creator.
If you’re a believer, how about you cultivate a stronger relationship with God?
How about you work at making God happy by being the best version of yourself, by serving society, and by being an honest and generous individual?
You may be alone but God is always watching and he is with you at all times.
Spend some time with God and rebuild or strengthen that relationship with him.
You need to read this article: How to approach relationships and dating in 2023.
7. It’s an effective way to process the end of a relationship.
Far too many people prolong the effects of a breakup by trying to spend time with their ex, by rebounding, or by casually dating without any break.
This is unhealthy because you cannot replace one person with another.
Right now, there’s a void in your heart that’s shaped like your ex.
Trying to fill that void with anybody else will feel unnatural, weird, and forced.
All of that emotion that resides in you doesn’t just disappear because you are around new people.
It lingers until you surrender to it.
Once you allow yourself to feel those emotions, they will pass through you until they leave or change into something different.
Romantic love can be released and changed into just fondness and care.
But, to bombard yourself with new romantic encounters is a surefire way to add more reasons for you to suffer.
If you face more rejection or trauma without dealing with your breakup, everything will compound.
You’ll feel more suffering and pain now than if you were to just spend time alone while recovering from your romantic loss.
Usually, people are ready for new love when they are happy enough or content enough as a single individual.
You need to read this article: How to let go of an ex you still love.
I know how difficult it is to be alone when you are used to being with someone or around a lot of people.
But, there’s a great deal of growth and independence that comes from spending time alone.
The relationship you can develop with yourself is one that can improve your life and change your future altogether if don’t correctly.
Get in the habit of spending some time alone.
I’m not even saying that you need to isolate yourself for the foreseeable future. That doesn’t sound healthy or realistic.
Instead, set aside an hour per day to be with yourself and limit all distractions, disturbances, or emotionally numbing agents.
Give yourself the safety and freedom to process your emotions and thoughts until you make peace with the past.
At the same time, draw up an idea of a future that you would like to have and develop new habits that encourage growth, productivity, cleanliness, and success.
Watch how your life changes for the better by spending time alone with this mindset.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on the reasons why you need to spend time alone to be helpful, insightful, and motivating. Let me know your thoughts and experiences in the comment section below. Let’s help each other to live better.