As a young man, I would ‘fall in love’ every other month. Clearly, it wasn’t love but an inclination towards attachment. I couldn’t figure out why I got attached so easily, and it became a problem because I never felt emotionally secure, nor was I being selective about the type of women I got attached to. Almost 13 years later, I have some answers, but it took a lot of studying and working with a psychologist to understand them. This article contains a full list of the reasons why you get attached so easily.
The reason you get attached so easily is predominantly to do with the perception you have of yourself or of love. Fear of abandonment, early life experiences, certain attachment styles, low self-esteem, social and cultural influences, neurological factors, and naivety are among the most common reasons for attachment issues.
Understanding the cause of a problem makes it simpler to apply the correct solution. So let’s discuss each of these factors in more detail so that you can identify which applies to you.
Related article: 13 Signs you’re begging for love
7 Reasons Why You Have Attachment Issues
1. Fear Of Abandonment
As ironic as it may sound, the fear of abandonment may manifest as a powerful force to develop attachments.
Oftentimes, this fear can be rooted in past experiences of insecurities stemming from childhood.
In an attempt to elicit feelings of stability and security, a person may develop an attachment so easily and quickly that it appears abnormal.
2. Early Life Experiences
Attachment styles are developed during our early years of life.
Children are very sensitive to experiences, and the results of a stable or traumatic experience with relationships or attachments manifest in later years, unbeknownst to the child.
Individuals who experienced neglect, inconsistent caregiving, or disruptions in their primary relationships may develop an anxious attachment style.
In some people, to ease such anxiety, they become prone to getting attached easily.
3. Attachment Styles
Psychologist John Bowlby introduced and shared the concept of attachment theory, which identifies four primary attachment styles: secure, anxious, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant.
People who exhibit an anxious attachment style often find themselves getting attached easily.
This attachment style is characterized by a fear of abandonment and an excessively elevated need for closeness and reassurance in relationships.
4. Low Self-Esteem
In many ways, insecurity can be attributed as the cause of many interpersonal problems.
It also has the propensity to increase the tendency to seek external validation and approval from others. When external validation becomes a primary source of self-esteem, the mind and body learn how to develop an attachment to others at a fast pace.
Isn’t it also true that people with low self-esteem struggle to develop standards or express boundaries?
As a result of this, it may appear easier for people with low self-esteem to develop attachments because they are willing to accept whoever gives them attention and validation.
Related article: The reasons why self-esteem is important for relationship
5. Social and Cultural Influences
When cultural and societal norms encourage a close-knit social structure, it may increase an individual’s inclination towards forming attachments.
Couple this with the pressure of getting married at a certain age, and the tendency to get attached so easily becomes apparent.
6. Neurochemical Factors
I’m not a doctor or scientist, but from what I understand, biological factors, including neurotransmitters and hormones, also play a role in attachment.
The release of oxytocin, often referred to as the “bonding hormone,” is closely associated with feelings of attachment and connection.
Individuals with a higher sensitivity to oxytocin may experience stronger and quicker emotional attachments.
Stemming from a trusting nature, some individuals have the ability to accept at face value what others say and do.
This makes it easier to form connections and attachments with others because trust requires vulnerability, which can deepen bonds.
Naivety makes it easy to trust and believe words of validation and approval, even if they are untrue or delivered with an ulterior motive.
This, in turn, makes an individual susceptible to emotional manipulation.
That summarizes all the reasons why you get attached so easily. To be fair, it’s only a problem if it presents relationship challenges in your life. Around the right calibre of people, forming attachments easily may result in relationships that provide easy access to love, companionship, friendship, trust, and support.