I’m speaking for most people when I say that dating and relationships can be a rollercoaster ride. It’s true to say that you haven’t experienced the real highs and lows until you’ve experienced rejection or a breakup. If you’re like me, I’m pretty sure that you’ve spent some time thinking about possible reasons why she hasn’t contacted you in a month.
It’s not always a black a white situation. When dealing with people, the answer usually lies in between the two.
I’m aware that many websites or people make claims that you can reattract an ex or someone you like within a specific amount of days.
They’re being disingenuous and dishonest with you.
There’s no accurate measuring tool but depending on the reason why she left and how she felt about you before leaving, we can get a good idea of why she hasn’t contacted you yet.
Based on that reason, we can get a rough idea about whether or not she’s going to come back or not.
The only way for you to get a really good idea of which reasons apply to your situation is by being brutally honest with yourself.
It will be difficult to admit and accept something hurtful but it’s better to face it head-on instead of avoiding it and prolonging your suffering or uncertainty.
Either way, you can only grow from this situation if you are willing to examine these reasons honestly and look for ways in which you can improve your behavior and approach in the future.
Additionally, choosing to make the right decision going forward will help you to further enhance your good character traits and mental fortitude.
You need to read this article: My ex came back after months of no contact. What should I do?
Here’s The List Of Reasons Why She Hasn’t Contacted You
1. She’s still upset with you
I don’t mean to toot my own horn or anything but I’ve noticed that I am quite a forgiving and accommodating person. I can be angry with someone now and 10 minutes later, I can forgive them and return back to normal behavior.
This may sound great but in reality, it results in a lack of respect and appreciation from others and I’ve been working on my boundaries ever since I realized this issue.
What’s interesting is that I assumed everyone was like me.
And yet, when I would upset my sibling, it would take her much longer to forgive me or to return to normal with me.
It was upsetting to me and I’d become quite impatient.
But, it didn’t matter if I was impatient because you cannot force someone to feel anything. Your behavior and words can influence people but they cannot control how they truly feel.
One of the reasons no contact proves to be difficult for a lot of men is because they expect their ex to feel a certain way within a certain time frame.
They’re projecting their own emotional response to a situation onto her and it rarely works out.
Sometimes, a woman can come back in a fraction of the time that you expect her to. Other times, she may take ages to come back, if at all.
It truly depends on a situation-by-situation basis.
If she’s still upset with you, it would explain why she hasn’t contacted you in a month.
2. She’s uncertain about how she feels
There are many reasons why people decide to be with someone but I’d like to think that the number one thing a woman considers before being with someone is who she feels about a guy and how he makes her feel about herself.
If those feelings are overpowered by uncertainty, confusion or doubt, she’s not going to make any definitive decisions about the guy.
In this case, she hasn’t contacted you in a month for one of two reasons related to how she feels.
- She’s confused and uncertain about her feelings.
- She currently feels like she doesn’t want to be with you.
The former provides a great chance that she may come back whereas the latter reduces your chances of reattracting her altogether.
In both situations, more time is required for her to figure out whether she wants to contact you again or not.
Most men experience desperation during this phase and try to use logic and reason to affect their emotional state.
Rarely does it work!
And if you rely on your own emotional state, then your decisions are going to reflect desperation and neediness.
Let’s be honest, neither of those emotions is attractive.
You need to read this article: Do this when a girl goes quiet on text
3. She’s dating other people
If you’re in the position of waiting for a woman to contact you and it has been a month, it wouldn’t be presumptuous of me to think that your actions weren’t congruent with what I teach about attraction and keeping a woman happy in a relationship.
I understand because some of my advice is based on my own failures in the past. I believe that you win or you learn and failure is extremely valuable if you’re seeking out lessons to refine your skills.
One thing that we should all agree with is the fact that the world we live in is more competitive than it ever has been.
Women are more accessible to men all over the world and there’s always going to be someone around the corner chasing after a girl you’re interested in or dating.
This is why it’s important to find a girl who is loyal because you can’t focus on every Tom, Dick or Harry that tries to hit on your partner.
Be that as it may, if you reach this situation, you have to entertain the reality that there are other guys who are currently trying to get with her.
She may be entertaining them while she focuses on herself or she may actually be dating people casually.
Either way, this phase would explain why she hasn’t contacted you in a month.
It isn’t all doom and gloom.
Most of these guys are going to mess up as well and she can’t outrun her own feelings for you if she still has a positive attraction and attachment to you.
When they mess up and when those feelings of desire return for you, it’s highly possible that she’ll contact you.
But, for the time being, she’s probably enjoying the free attention these guys are throwing at her.
You need to read this article: What to do when a girl rejects you
4. She’s rebounding with another guy
Casually dating people isn’t much cause for concern and can often be short lives but a rebound relationship is a whole different ball game to deal with.
There are ways to tell if she’s rebounding with another guy.
Typically, it’s going to be a guy who she claimed was a close friend who popped up a lot more during the last few weeks or months in your relationship with her.
If you don’t know the guy and she jumped into a rebound relationship with a new guy she just met, it’s a crazy situation to deal with.
She isn’t going to contact you while she’s experiencing the high of new attraction and companionship.
The problem is that most rebound relationships are entered into with the subconscious intention of escaping the pain of loss or change caused by a breakup.
Even if she was the one to end the relationship, the uncomfortable effects of breaking up will affect her.
Right now, she’s running away from that but eventually, the honeymoon phase will end and she’ll start to think about you and the relationship she shared with you.
At that point, the rebound relationship enters its biggest test.
More often than not, it fails to pass the test and dissolves.
At that point, your ex may contact you.
You need to read this article: What to do if your ex is in a rebound relationship
5. She lost interest
Once interest has been lost, it’s much harder to get it back.
People grow resistant and form opinions that are difficult to change.
All of your efforts will fall on deaf ears unless they’re willingly open to accepting what you are saying and how you are showing up now versus before.
I’m sorry to say this but once a woman loses all interest in a guy, it’s game over.
There’s a tiny chance she may come back but it’s unlikely to develop into something even if she does contact you again.
Accepting that someone who was once highly interested in you is now completely disinterested is painful.
I battled with this in my earlier years.
Call it ego or whatever you’d like but it really stung me and I would try to change reality but it mostly proved to be a fruitless endeavor.
The only way to tell is by examining her interest level before she left, how affectionate she was with you before and if leaving was an easy or difficult decision for her.
If your gut is telling you that she probably had lost all interest in you by the time she pulled the plug, then it would explain why she hasn’t contacted you in a month.
You need to read this article: Why is it so hard to get a girlfriend?
6. She’s using no contact
In the event that you are not familiar with the no contact rule, allow me to explain. It’s simply a technique that was developed to help people emotionally move on from someone.
By eliminating any and all contact with someone, you’ll experience the full loss of their presence in your life but willfully.
As you face this extreme change, you learn to adapt and heal from the loss.
In other words, it forces you to feel your emotions in order to heal from your emotions.
What people found is that in walking away from someone who ends a relationship, rejects you or doesn’t appreciate and respect you, in time, that person develops a renewed sense of attraction and interest in you.
Interestingly, with the silence of not being in contact with you coupled with the possibility of you moving on, the other person feels a strong desire to contact you, at the very least.
In the event that your ex feels like she wants to move on or that you were not appreciative of her, she may be using no contact which is why she hasn’t contacted you in a month.
You need to read this article: 2 Weeks no contact should I give up?
7. She’s hurt and untrusting of you
Trust is fragile.
It can be given with ease or built over time and with effort but it can be broken instantly.
Once broken, rebuilding it is much harder and sometimes, impossible to do.
Anyone who has been betrayed will understand what I’m talking about.
You could love someone with all your heart and still be unable to reconcile because your trust was broken.
Even forgiveness doesn’t automatically amount to the rejuvenation of trust.
This woman could still have strong feelings for you but she’s unable to overcome the feeling of hurt and distrust.
And if it seems like she can’t get back to normal or that she would not be able to trust you enough to be happy again, it would explain why she hasn’t contacted you in a month.
8. It hasn’t been long enough for her to start missing you
When I first scrolled through websites that promised to help get an ex back, I was quite surprised to find people making claims that it could be done in exactly 30 or 60 days.
Where do they even get this number from?
I know for a fact that it just isn’t something that can be accurately predicted let alone promised because there are too many factors to consider.
One factor that is extremely difficult to measure or predict is someone’s feelings.
It’s too erratic and volatile for any one person to claim that they can accurately predict when a person will change from one emotion to the next.
I’m assuming that you’re using no contact to get her back but I need you to understand that it could take any period of time before she’s ready to contact you.
It could be a few months to a few years.
In fact, if certain circumstances arise, she may never contact you again.
So, it’s important to shift your focus from waiting for her to contact you to moving on and healing from this situation.
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9. She hates you and doesn’t want to communicate
Once a woman hates you, it’s game over.
You could change your behavior and even reach a point of peace with her but the chances of her wanting to be with you are slim to none.
Don’t be fooled by what you see in some fictional movies or books.
Once hate is involved, you’re fighting a losing battle.
Sure, you can do everything in your power to find common ground and rebuild bridges but there’s absolutely no guarantee that it will amount to anymore more than just forgiveness.
The biggest issue with hate isn’t the emotion itself. It’s the loss of respect that prevents anything meaningful from happening.
A woman who doesn’t respect you will never love you.
It’s as simple as that.
So, even if she does stop hating you, it doesn’t automatically mean that she has enough respect for you to love you again.
10. She’s waiting for you to text her
Is it not possible that the reason why she hasn’t contacted you in a month is because she’s waiting for you to initiate contact?
I mean, think about it carefully for a minute.
Are you the reason why all communication stopped? Did you reject her? Did you not make any attempts to reconcile after the breakup that you initiated or caused? Did you hurt her and not make amends?
When pride and ego is involved, we guys struggle with apologies and extending olive branches.
At one point, I became so anti-nice because of how many times I got burnt as a ‘nice guy’, that I hesitated even making an attempt to fix things with someone or pursue them in any way because I didn’t want to feel weak or desperate ever again.
You have to find balance and security in who you are.
And that can only be accomplished through extreme honesty with oneself.
11. She’s in a new relationship
Up until this point, I’ve focused predominantly on the idea that the woman in question is someone you were in a serious and committed relationship with.
But, I think it’s important that we also touch on situations when you just liked someone and it never amounted to a relationship.
Perhaps, there was a courtship that suddenly ended for whatever reason.
Heck, you could have pulled away for a valid reason and now you’re wondering why she hasn’t contacted you in a month.
There’s a strong chance that she likes someone else or is in a new relationship.
What this means is that there were other guys in the background and one of those guys ended up succeeding.
Alternatively, when you exited, someone else entered the situation and their courtship resulted in a relationship.
She’s not going to contact you while she’s happy with this new guy. If she does, well, then you need to consider whether this is the type of woman you actually think she is.
12. She’s afraid of contacting you
The last possible reason why she hasn’t contacted you in a month is because you scared her off.
I’ve seen guys do ridiculous things that scare off women. But, the worst part about it is that they have no clue at all about how their behavior is being perceived.
A lack of self-awareness will be detrimental to your entire existence, let alone your romantic aspirations.
If you are an emotionally volatile guy who behaves like a stalker, an obsessive lover or a manipulator, then I wouldn’t be surprised if you have completely scared this girl out of your life.
You have bigger issues that need addressing.
I’m not even saying this to be degrading or insulting.
If you genuinely want to have a successful love life, you need to fix these issues or they’ll ruin you and all your romantic relationships.
For most of the reasons above, I would advise you to focus on healing and detach from this person or the expectation of her contacting you.
No contact is most effective when you truly use it to move on and heal.
It doesn’t mean you can’t leave the door open to reconcile if she comes back.
Only good things can come from you focusing on healing, growing and making peace with the past.
If you were at fault and the reason why she hasn’t contacted you in a month is because it’s expected that you should be the one to initiate contact, then it’s up to you to decide on whether you want to or not.
Be as authentic as you possibly can and you’ll avoid regret in life.
At the same time, be respectful to others and especially to yourself.
When you can marry these two things together, it results in you becoming a much happier, more confident, respectful, attractive and loving man.
Don’t make any decisions out of desperation.
I always advise men who contact me to sleep on a desperate decision before making it. More often than not, they decide against doing something the next day.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on why she hasn’t contacted you in a month to be informative and helpful. If you’d like to reattract an ex or avoid getting into this situation in the first place, get a copy of my eBook by Clicking Here. This manual has helped hundreds of men get back with an ex or find someone better.