I have never tasted a sip of alcohol in my life, and I never will. I’m not the type of person to impose my beliefs on others, but I’ve seen what alcohol can do to relationships. There’s a belief that moderation permits an indulgence in alcohol, but in a world that is driven by overconsumption, instant gratification, and depression, it’s not easy to maintain balance. There’s too much of a risk, especially when you have dreams of a fulfilling life and an epic love story. This article is going to explore the reasons why alcohol ruins relationships.
Because I don’t consume alcohol, I never have to worry about ruining a relationship due to impaired judgment, unsober infidelity, expressing myself in a rude, inconsiderate, and unintentional manner, or being a jerk.
Before we proceed, I just want to ask you something: Why do you need to consume alcohol?
There seems to be this idea that drunk people are having fun, but I often wonder why intoxication is a prerequisite for a good time.
Are there people who are sober who thoroughly enjoy life and have fun regularly? Yes, absolutely!
Are there people who are sober and in relationships who are happy and have fun regularly? Yes, absolutely!
So, where does this idea come from?
I think it comes from the alcohol industry and people who struggle to tap into their inner carefree and playful child.
If you can, get rid of this notion that you’re missing out on a good time by not drinking alcohol. If anything, you’re missing out on a lot of health ailments and relationship problems caused by alcohol.
Don’t be fooled by the alcohol industry, which invests millions upon millions in advertisements to sell you the idea that alcohol is the best way to relax, socialize, and have fun.
They don’t care about your happiness; they care about your money.
If you’re feeling peer-pressured or ridiculed into consuming alcohol, don’t be.
You ought to think about what your goals are in life and the values that you possess to determine whether alcohol is needed or not. Often, you’ll find that it isn’t, and that’s important because you have so much more to gain from being sober and healthy than from being intoxicated and unhealthy.
The biggest selling point within the context of this topic is that what you can and will gain from a healthy relationship far outweighs anything you can get from alcohol.
So why ruin a relationship over alcohol?
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Okay, I think you get the point, so let’s get into the actual reasons to avoid alcohol.
Related article: 10 Toxic relationship signs you should never ignore
How Alcohol Destroys Relationships
1. Increased risk of conflict
Intoxication has the ability to hinder our ability to make rational and respectful decisions. We may say and do things that go against our values or express ourselves without consideration, which can hurt our partner’s feelings.
If you are a jerk when you’re drunk and your partner doesn’t want you to be this way around him or her, conflict is bound to arise.
Don’t expect someone else to turn off their feelings just because you’re inebriated.
Even if they know that you wouldn’t say or do hurtful things under normal circumstances, it doesn’t remove the possibility that your drunken actions emotionally upset them, or worse.
2. A breakdown of communication
Frequent conflicts within a relationship breed resentment and cause a breakdown of communication.
When couples resent each other, there’s a strong aversion to compromise and talking.
Even if you wanted to make things work or to communicate in a respectful and productive way, the resentment caused during spells of intoxication may prevent your partner from being receptive to what you have to say.
It’s only a matter of time before the relationship dissolves if you can’t undo some of the damage caused by drinking alcohol.
Related article: The dangers of the silent treatment in a relationship
3. Impaired judgment
I cannot begin to tell you about the number of good relationships that fell apart because someone decided to drink and got caught up in behavior that damaged their relationship.
From unexpected and drunken infidelity to financial betrayal that destroys good will, these are just some of the stupid things people do with impaired judgment while drunk.
Trust is delicate, and if it’s broken, whether explainable or not, it’s rebound is never guaranteed. The unfortunate reality is that people just make the assumption that they will never do anything to sabotage their relationship before they drink alcohol.
It’s easy to hold that sentiment while you’re sober, but there’s a reason why impaired judgment is so closely associated with alcohol usage.
You can’t think properly when you’re drinking alcohol.
Related article: What is considered cheating in a relationship?
4. Health issues and weight gain
Observe the appearance of someone who loves to drink alcohol, and consider the following:
- Are they in shape?
- Do they appear alert and vibrant?
- Is their skin clear or inflamed and unhealthy?
- Do they have any chronic ailments?
- Do they look happy?
- Is their face bloated?
- Do they appear sweaty and flustered?
These are, generally, the effects of frequent alcohol consumption.
You may be wondering how this is relevant to a relationship, but would you not agree that physical appearances continue to matter in a long-term commitment?
There are many things that will affect the way you appear as time goes on, many of which will be out of your control.
But the negative alterations to your physical appearance caused by the unnecessary consumption of alcohol are unfair to your partner.
Nurturing attraction in a long-term relationship necessitates looking the best you can under the circumstances you live in.
Aging is a part of life, and imperfections are full of beauty and grace. Finding someone who loves you with all of these factors is a beautiful sentiment, but don’t make it hard on them.
Whenever there’s something you can do to improve or maintain your physical appearance, do it for the wellbeing of your self-esteem and the desire within your relationship.
Always remember that effort is incredibly respected and attractive.
5. It may cause or worsen depression
When looking into the effects of alcohol on the body, I was surprised to learn that it has an adverse effect on our dopamine receptors.
While intoxicated, you may be able to escape or numb feelings of sadness or apathy, but once you sober up, these feelings return and can be amplified.
This makes it harder to naturally regulate your moods and find happiness without alcohol.
Chronic depression is an incredibly difficult condition to deal with, and it can have a profoundly stressful effect on a relationship.
Quick fixes in the form of alcohol are not a long-term benefit to you or your love life.
You’re gambling with your future in this scenario.
The correct approach requires you to grow.
Check out this article on the effects of alcohol on depression.
6. It’s a waste of time and money
Let’s be honest: when you’re drunk, you’re useless. The next day, when you’re hungover, you’re not productive, nor are you fun to be around.
If you were to drink daily, you’d be in this perpetual cycle that is not beneficial to you or your relationship at all.
That’s a lot of time and money being spent on something that yearns for nothing but liver damage, impaired cognitive function, weight issues, and a sub-par or damaged relationship.
Why would anyone want to be around a drunk, let alone married to one?
Most of the time, spouses become codependent on each other, especially when there’s an issue with alcohol involved.
We also know the damage that occurs from financial strain in a relationship.
This will ruin the relationship and drain the two of you until you’re nothing more than a miserably codependent and toxic couple.
7. It may damage emotional intimacy
Many times, people turn to an escape when they are faced with tumultuous events and emotions in their lives.
These life-changing experiences cannot be avoided, and all of us will be tested in some way or another.
But, in adversity, we may find deeper connection and closeness with those with whom we share our journeys.
Division and a breakdown of connection occur when people turn to a vice as an escape from their emotions rather than turning to their spouse.
In turn, the other person feels abandoned by the partner who chooses alcohol over them during times of need.
This casts immense doubt and poisons the relationship over time until there’s a significant emotional separation between both partners.
Related article: Why is he becoming distant?
8. Abandonment of responsibilities
The last thing on a drunk person’s mind are responsibilities.
Not showing up to do chores, to support your partner, to take care of the children, and to pay bills makes you an irresponsible partner and parent.
It’s only natural for trust to diminish and resentment to grow when you aren’t functioning as an adult while indulging in alcohol.
Being an adult is about making responsible decisions about what your priorities are.
Alcohol has a great influence on the abandonment of those responsibilities, which is why it ruins relationships.