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My Girlfriend Doesn’t Care About Me. What Should I Do?

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my girlfriend doesn't care about me, why doesn't my girlfriend doesn't care about me, she doesn't care about me

An unspoken belief we all have at some point is that once someone cares about us, they always will. This is especially true in the case of romantic relationships until you actually face a partner who appears to no longer care. This highlights an important question, what should I do if my girlfriend doesn’t care about me?

It would be easy to indulge in self loathing and heightened self criticism when the person who is supposed to care about you doesn’t.

  • What’s wrong with me?
  • Why doesn’t she love me?
  • What can I do to win her back?

These questions repeatedly bother you on a daily basis and every interaction you have with her is filled with insecurity, fear, anxiety, discomfort, sadness and uncertainty. 

It would be easy to blame yourself and it would also be easy to blame her.

In some cases, the blame may lie with one of you or both of you.

But, what’s important is the unbiased examination of why your girlfriend doesn’t care about you.

Rejection hurts. Period. But, what really stings is when you witness someone start to fall out of love with you.

This seems to be the case for a lot of men who are unable to lead a relationship. 

Before you can lead a relationship, you need to develop your masculine foundation and that begins by leading yourself.

If you’re a man who is lazy, undecided and a slave to your desires, the likelihood of you nurturing a healthy relationship with a woman who is confident in your leadership is unlikely. 

Men like this struggle with consistent effort.

Once the goal is achieved, the systems that were in place fall apart because they were result driven instead of identity based.

When you stop doing the things you did to make a girl fall in love with you, the relationship falls apart.

She feels unloved, unheard and cheated because you’re no longer being the man she fell in love with.

That’s when she’ll start to pull away or complain to you about things.

It will be subtle at first but left unaddressed, it worsens.

By the time you notice, it’s already at the point of her losing significant amounts of attraction and feelings for you.

Let me tell you something more interesting, the very first thing to leave is not a woman’s attraction or love for you, it’s her respect.

Without respect, she’ll never find you attractive enough nor would she ever love you enough to remain happy in the relationship.

There are some women who will date you for selfish reasons.

They never truly cared about you from the get go.

With those women, it doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do, they’ll never make you feel truly cared for because their objective is to get rather than to give.

You shouldn’t waste your time, effort and resources on a woman who is only with you for ulterior motives and who doesn’t care about you at all and never did.

In this article, we are going to focus on those cases in which your girlfriend did care about you but has stopped. 

You need to read this article: How to keep a girl interested in you

What To Do If She Doesn’t Care About You

my girlfriend doesn't care about me, why doesn't my girlfriend doesn't care about me, she doesn't care about me

Step 1: Talk to her about how you feel

As much as it’s true that we guys get complacent and lazy in a relationship, the same could be said for some women as well.

She may not realize how her behavior has changed but in being comfortable and lazy, she has created an impression of not caring.

It’s important to pay attention to what a woman does instead of what she just says but you this does not invalidate the importance of communication.

When a woman’s words and actions align, you can trust her. 

The same could be said for men.

Find out why things haven’t been fulfilling.

The manner in which you bring up this topic is as important as what you say.

If you approach her in a confrontational and demanding manner, don’t be surprised if she shells up and becomes defensive.

Sit her down over a meal, find out how she’s feeling and then bring up the issues that you have without blaming her.

Find out why she has been distant and uncaring.

If she has been distracted and stuck in a comfort zone, she’ll realize this through the conversation.

Then, she’ll make an effort to rectify her behavior and you need to validate her by showering her with warmth and affection when she does.

If she becomes aggressive, cold or dismissive without showing any change in her behavior, something else is the issue and you need to be on high alert.

You need to read this article: How often should you talk to your girlfriend?

Step 2: Change your behavior

A lot of women are reactive in relationships.

In other words, the choices she makes are in response to how you behave as the man.

If you have made her feel unloved, invisible and unimportant, she’ll react to this by pulling away or appearing feisty.

The same could be said if you are being too weak, needy and desperate. 

These are not attractive patterns of behavior and they do not nurture love.

What you do to make a girl fall in love with you are the same things you must continue to do when she’s in love with you along with some refinement and changes.

If you think the courtship is over because you are in a relationship with her, you will be in for a rude awakening.

Similarly, if you portray yourself as a confident man with a fulfilling life and now you spend all your time seeking out her validation and attention without actually pursuing self development, you’ll ruin your relationship and her perception of you.

As a man, it is your duty to lead a relationship.

This means that you have an obligation to create boundaries that protect the relationship, protect the well being of the two of you and her feelings for you. 

If you are tolerating poor behavior from your partner and then rewarding her with more of your attention and affection because you assume that this is the way to get her to do what you want, you’re making a huge mistake.

Examine your behavior leading up to this problem and figure out what’s causing her to view you as unimportant.

If the issue lies with your behavior, change it.

If the issue lies with her behavior, enforce some boundaries.

But, don’t just do the same thing while expecting a different result.

That’s the definition of insanity.

You need to read this article: What to do when your partner ignores you

Step 3: Walk away from the relationship and regain your dignity

In any negotiation, the party with the best position is the one who is truly willing to walk away. 

A relationship contains a fair amount of negotiation.

The issue isn’t that people are out to hurt you or that your partner wants to take advantage of you.

Only evil and insane people behave in this manner.

But, everyone wants to benefit and get what they want.

Everyone wants to feel powerful and important. If your partner can get whatever she wants, she’ll try to.

That’s where respect comes into play but more importantly, boundaries.

Unless you’re willing to walk away, your girlfriend or wife can push your boundaries as much as she wants because she knows that you won’t leave.

You have no negotiating power in a relationship and that makes you lack the respect needed to have a healthy and loving relationship.

After having a conversation with her and attempting to alter your behavior in the best possible way, if she continues to treat you like a low priority individual who she doesn’t care about, you need to walk away from her.

She needs to see that you’re serious and that you have self respect.

Let me tell you something, a self respecting man or woman would not tolerate being in an unloving relationship.

They will never settle to be in a commitment with someone who doesn’t care about them.

That self respect often results in others respecting you.

You need to read this article: When you stop caring she starts chasing you

Final Thoughts

It can be tempting to use this situation as an excuse to play ‘the game’ with your girlfriend but I would advise against this altogether.

By reacting to her in a similar manner, you’re just allowing this situation to influence you negatively.

Never compromise your own character and identity for anyone, not even your own partner.

Play stupid games and you’ll win stupid prizes.

To avoid having any regrets and to potentially lead the relationship to a better space, you need to be congruent with your words.

Don’t give her any more reasons to treat you this way.

Remain in your masculine frame, conduct yourself with maturity and respect, be compassionate to her and yourself, speak about it, make an effort to show her what you need from her and then give her the opportunity to adjust and show up.

If this fails, then you have no choice but to walk away because remaining with her will only reinforce this behavior.

When you leave, don’t just do it to get her back.

That’s another foolish way of handling the situation.

Do it with the intention of completely walking away for good.

If she changes her mind and realizes the flaws in her behavior, you can observe whether she makes an attempt to earn back your love.

That doesn’t mean you should jump right back into a relationship with her.

But, it can make room for you to explore reconciliation.

If she doesn’t, then you need to focus on healing and moving on from this relationship.

It will be difficult but you will walk away with your dignity intact and you’ll have an immense amount of self respect to display in your life.

Don’t waste your time in a relationship that doesn’t serve you, especially if you are committed to serving the relationship.

With that being said, I hope this article on what to do if your girlfriend doesn’t care about you was clear, practical and helpful. I’d recommend grabbing my eBook because it has helped so many men overcome this issue. Click Here to check out The Attraction Game eBook. Also, I offer email coaching for situations like this, check out my Services page for more information.

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