When I was much younger, I had no idea how to navigate a breakup, let alone the art of reattracting a woman who had lost interest in me. I particularly remember struggling to understand why my ex girlfriend doesn’t reply to my texts.
I’d reach out in what seemed like a nonchalant manner, only to be greeted with silence.
What I hadn’t realized is that she didn’t reply to my texts because she stopped caring about me, moved on with her life, blocked me or found another man.
I swear, being ignored was my kryptonite.
It’s something that would drive me crazy and it would encourage me to react impulsively as well as unpredictability.
Rather than maintaining my dignity and self respect, I sacrificed and traded them for a reply from someone who probably couldn’t care less about me at that point.
This really made me feel pathetic!
I wish someone had told me that when my ex girlfriend doesn’t reply to my texts, I should focus on moving on by using the no contact rule.
Anyway, silence influenced me to send my ex girlfriend a long text that emphasized just how much I missed her.
I poured my heart out to her over text and her response was priceless.
Can you guess what she said?
Nothing.
She didn’t reply to that text either.
I was genuinely guttered.
At first, I was angry as can be. But that quickly morphed into feeling rejected and defeated.
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If this is something you can relate to, trust me, I sympathize with you.
It sucks because it’s indicative of her low interest and lack of care.
I would hate for you to go down the same road as I did so let’s talk about all the reasons why your ex girlfriend doesn’t reply to your texts and what you should do instead of chasing her.
1. She’s doing no contact
The no contact rule is one of the most effective ways to win back an ex or to move on after a breakup.
If your ex is ready to let go of you and wants to move on with her life, no amount of text messages will change her mind.
No contact is a big decision to make and usually when a woman decides to walk away, it is preceded by a ton of thought and consideration.
She won’t just give up no contact because you reached out.
If anything, she may have prepared herself for the possibility of you texting her and is ignoring you on purpose.
Alternatively, if you’re the one who dumped her, she may be using no contact to get you back or move on.
This is particularly the case if she is unsure of whether you actually want to get back together with her or if you are just reaching out to get some comfort or to get laid.
No contact, in and of itself, is a nonvocal message to an ex-lover that you are not willing to waste your precious time, energy and effort on someone who doesn’t see your value.
And if your ex felt like you were unappreciative of their presence in your life, it’s probable that she’s using no contact to teach you a lesson apart from trying to move on.
Related post: She stopped responding to my texts
2. She has nothing left to say to you
A lot of relationships end in the worst way possible. Both parties have a hand in saying and doing things to each other that create negative feelings and loads of drama.
By the time those negative and ugly feelings disappear enough for you to reach out via text, she may have given up hope on the idea of reconciling let alone staying in touch.
Some people prefer a clean break, especially if they’ve said everything they needed to say when the relationship ended.
At which point, talking will change nothing and she’s just focused on herself altogether.
Also, what you text her could be the reason why she has nothing to say.
Guys make the mistake of sending text messages to their exes that are either superficial, close-ended or desperate.
- “Watched our favorite movie last night and thought about you.”
- “I miss you so much babe. I wish we could turn back time and be together again. I would do things differently.”
- “Hey, hope you’re well. It’s been ages since I heard from you.”
All of these text messages leave little to no room for her to reply.
There’s nothing mysterious or exciting about them.
They’re either stinking of desperation or they’re so mundane that she really can’t say anything other than ‘okay cool’.
The last thing you want to do is text a woman about your feelings when she is the one who walked away.
She already lost interest in being with you, what makes you think that text messages about how much you miss her will reignite her interest and attraction?
3. She’s over you and moved on
I hate to say it but if she’s completely over you and has moved on with her life, she won’t reply to your texts.
Why?
Because you’re of no importance to her anymore.
She doesn’t care what effect it has on you nor does she worry about what you may think or feel about her.
I know it’s a bitter pill to swallow but you can’t ignore the reality of the situation.
A woman who has lost all feelings for you will come across as the most careless person you’ve met.
And that drives us crazy because we know how caring and thoughtful she could be. Hence, that desperate feeling you have in your gut to make her treat you the way she used to.
It’s not about love. You’re subconsciously reacting to the end of her connection with you.
I’ve come to learn that most women stay in relationships long after the expiration of their feelings.
By the time they dump you, it’s already too late.
Most of their feelings have disappeared and the attraction she once had for you is mostly dead.
Which is why she doesn’t even care to reply to your texts.
You’re no longer a priority and that means that she has no obligation to treat you with the same level of care and consideration as she would to someone who still has a place in her life.
Related post: 15 signs your ex is never coming back
4. She blocked you
Nowadays, when a woman means business, she’ll block you and keep you blocked for as long as she likes.
I don’t know what’s worse, being blocked or being ignored.
Both situations are indicative of one ugly truth – she doesn’t want you in her life at all.
For this reason, I encourage you to never extend yourself beyond a double text.
Imagine all the time you’re wasting waiting on her to reply to your heartfelt messages that she never received because she blocked you!
Don’t put yourself through that form of torture.
At the end of the day, a woman or ex girlfriend who still cares about you will eventually text you back.
The fact that you haven’t heard back from her in weeks is just an indicator of how little you mean to her right now as well as her commitment to moving on from you.
I would advise you to block her as well, remove her from social media sites and get rid of any reminders of the relationship or her.
Getting rid of these reminders will really help you process your feelings so that you can move on from her.
Related post: 10 signs your ex girlfriend is over you
5. She’s got a new man
As soon as your ex girlfriend finds a new boyfriend, you’re fighting a losing battle especially if she ignores your initial texts.
What usually happens is the guy she’s with now is doing more things right than you are.
Her attraction for him is probably sky high right now, this is usually the case when dating someone new whereas her attraction for you is way less than desirable.
By you chasing her over text and desperately trying to get some validation from her, she’s busy chasing after her new man.
Who ends up looking more desirable?
The ex who is blowing up her phone with soppy or boring messages or the new guy who is a challenge to her?
The new guy!
I’ll be honest with you, I’ve been the kind of guy who asked my girlfriend to avoid talking to her ex’s too much because it would be far more beneficial for us to avoid drama and baggage from the past.
I’ve also had girlfriends who would randomly show me messages from her ex and we’d actually have a laugh about it.
Again, this is just another reason why you should be doing no contact.
It guarantees that you don’t make a fool of yourself to an ex.
6. She has a new number or lost her phone
Granted, this isn’t a popular reason why for why my ex girlfriend doesn’t respond to my texts but it is definitely a possibility.
People do change their numbers from time to time and unfortunately, their phone can get lost or stolen.
Personally, I’ve changed my number a few times over the last couple of years. The same could be said for some of my ex girlfriends.
Usually, girls post about losing their phones or changing their numbers on social networks to update their friends and family.
An easy way to find out is to call your ex. I mean, what do you have to lose at this point, especially if you’ve tried blowing up her phone with countless texts.
If she answers, then she obviously received your texts. I wouldn’t really engage with her.
I’d just cut the call and block her if I were in your shoes. If the number is unavailable then it could very well be one of these reasons.
Related post: What to do when someone takes forever to text you back
7. She’s punishing you
Some women can be very vindictive and as soon as they get a whiff that you’re missing them or in a vulnerable state, they’ll exploit that and make you pay.
It’s not about you, though.
It’s about making themselves feel powerful by watching you get undone by their lack of replies.
If there ever was a simple but effective way to punish and gain the upper hand over an ex, it’s to utterly reject their attempt at communication in the coldest way possible – by ignoring them.
This ticks me off because it’s really immature but perhaps she has her reasons for doing it.
Maybe, you did the same thing to her before and this is her chance to get payback. It’s not a good thing to do. Nor is it mature but I can rationalize it.
If you genuinely suspect that she’s doing this to punish you, run the opposite direction from her.
Block her immediately and never reach out to her again!
Related post: How to get revenge on your ex who used you
8. She’s afraid of talking to you
This was quite a difficult section for me to write because I remember reacting so poorly to one of my breakups that it makes me cringe.
I was in my late teens and I just had a meltdown. I did everything you shouldn’t do verbally.
Begged, pleaded, argued and lashed out. It was awful and I’m so glad that I grew from that experience.
I think highly of myself but that makes me wonder if a guy like me can do something so off-putting, imagine the guys who are abusive and outlandishly impulsive.
I think you have to really be honest with yourself by entertaining the possibility that you have played a serious role in why she’s ignoring your texts.
Self-awareness can benefit you in so many ways and in this particular case, it can help you identify the kind of toxic behavior of bad habits that have played a role in isolating you from your ex girlfriend.
What I would do if my ex girlfriend doesn’t respond to my text messages
First of all, if my ex initiated the break up, I wouldn’t be reaching out to her at all. I’d have said my piece and walked away.
My go-to reaction to any break up that wasn’t my idea is to initiate the indefinite no contact rule.
I would completely stay away from my ex and now engage with her on any social networking apps either.
If by some chance, I was thinking about texting her – it wouldn’t be about how much I miss her or want her back.
Those things don’t work at all.
I’ve tried them in the past and to no avail.
You get ignored or rejected all over again which is so unnecessary when you’re already going through a breakup.
My priority would be to focus on accepting how I feel and finding peace with how things ended.
This may take some time but that’s all we truly have in life.
During that time, I’d prioritize self development and improvement.
All of that unresolved feelings and love for my ex would be transferred to myself. Put simply, I’d go out of my way to take care of myself in good ways.
It’s also a good idea to run over all the things that could have been done differently in your relationship or breakup.
Make a list of lessons you learned and what you would like to find in a new partner.
At the time, all of these little tactics really helped me stop focusing on the fact that my ex girlfriend doesn’t reply to my texts.
Only focus on that which you can control.
In conclusion
I know it sucks to be in this predicament but I promise you that it gets better.
You may have been struggling to understand why ‘my ex girlfriend doesn’t respond to me texts’ but don’t give her any more power over you than she already has.
As far as possible, try to leave the past behind and focus on the present. Look towards finding someone who is better suited for you.
In the grand scheme of things, this isn’t going to be something that bothers you, especially when you meet the next big love of your life.
With that being said, I hope this article on my ex girlfriend doesn’t reply to my texts to be informative and insightful. Please feel free to leave your comments below.