My Best Friend Blocked Me After A Fight. What Should I Do?

I’m a pretty non-confrontational person and I pride myself on exercising rationality and understanding during disputes but even I have had fights with people, some of whom I care about deeply. What I hate, though, is getting blocked. It causes too much damage and emotional turmoil. So, if my best friend blocked me after a fight, here’s how I would address the issue.

First of all, I would take some time to cool down so that I can think clearly. Even if this means doing nothing for a few days.

Most of the time, the aftermath of a fight and getting blocked causes extreme emotions that cannot be sustained.

The anger and pain will diminish. For this reason, it is best not to act on those temporary emotions. 

I like this quote – “Do not make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.”

Thereafter, I’ll examine the fight and my behavior to determine if I was right and wrong as well as whether I said or did something that extended beyond the fight. Did I betray my friends’ trust in any way or did I hurt them deeply?

Once I’ve zoned into a specific stance, I’d reach out to address my role in the fight and apologize sincerely. 

I would also express a desire for us to communicate and perhaps meet to talk it out in a respectful and great way. I would emphasize that I do not want to fight but make things right and save our friendship.

I’ll either do this via a different platform or number. Alternatively, I’ll reach out to someone or try to pay my friend a visit face to face. 

If I’m met with resistance, I’ll give it more time and then try again.

At a certain point, I’ll stop reaching out and doing anything because you cannot force someone to remain friends nor can you force someone to feel how you do 

Once I feel like I’ve made a fair effort to make things right and rectify the situation, I’ll exercise patience and decide if I want to leave the door open for my best friend to come back or if I want to let this friendship end here even if they come back.

Related post: What to do if a girl blocks you

Reasons Why Your Best Friend Blocked You After A Fight?

1. They’re extremely angry with you

I’m someone who has always prioritized communication to resolve any form of conflict, even if I’m upset or clearly in the right.

However, there have been times in my life when I was so angry that I blocked the other party. 

Granted, it didn’t last long but if someone like me can be driven to block a best friend or past lover, then I wouldn’t exclude anyone from doing this after an argument.

Angry people are not measuring all the circumstances at play nor are they thinking logically. They’re acting out of impulse and passion.

It may just be the case that your best friend is extremely angry at you for something said or disagreed with and blocked you in the heat of the moment.

2. They’re hurt and need space

“Hurt people hurt people.”

Fighting with a best friend and not holding back can be detrimental. People can turn nasty and say things or use things against their best friend that cuts deep.

After all, they’re your best friend and have probably confided in you about their mistakes, fears and insecurities.

Using that against them will feel like a slap in the face and a betrayal of trust.

So now, the problems between the two of you extend beyond the subject or cause of your fight. 

3. They just want some time away from you

When examining my own approach to arguments and fights, my emotions fluctuate very rapidly.

I can transition from angry to fairly cool and collected relatively quickly. But, in the same breath, it takes me a while to get angry with someone because I pride myself on being centered and level-headed.

On the flip side, I have people in my close circle who take significantly longer to de-escalate from anger to calmness than I can.

During that time, they want space and distance to work through those emotions caused by the fight and when they are ready to talk, they’ll come back and open up.

Perhaps you were not easing up and continuously texting or calling to continue the fight or argument that your friend blocked you to get some space.

4. This argument was the feather that broke the camel’s back

Mounting tension and problems in a friendship that is left unaddressed can all boil over after a singular event.

It may seem outlandish that your best friend would want to block you and break all contact over this fight but what you may be overlooking is a series of problems that have been building up in the background.

This fight could have caused the collapse of your friendship and it finally resulted in this drastic decision.

Does it mean that your best friend is justified in doing so? Perhaps not. Does it mean that you chose to ignore the issues your best friend had with you up until now? Perhaps not.

But, what matters is that your best friend felt this way, even if they failed in vocalizing any of this to you. 

And so, what seems like a drastic and unexpected action to you may actually be something your best friend has been thinking about for a while. 

5. Evasion and stonewalling are how they deal with conflict

Unless people are actively seeking out guidance and therapy for change, they are often influenced by the behavior they witnessed by their parents or guardians, their schooling environment, their close circle of friends and perhaps what they observe online.

If what your best friend is accustomed to is running away from arguments or completely icing out the other person if they have not ‘won’ an argument or fight, then that is what their default emotional reaction will be when you fight.

To them, this is normal because it’s all that they know or feels comfortable with.

It may seem weird to you because what you’ve been taught is to communicate through issues and not to resort to drastic actions after a fight but that may not be the case for your best friend.

Related post: How to get rid of a toxic best friend

What To Do If Your Best Friend Blocked You

1. Give them some time to cool down

Why do you need your best friend to cool down and talk to you right now? 

Is it stemming from a need to eliminate guilt because you feel like you are to blame for the fight or is it to quell your own anxiety about possibly losing your best friend?

Either option presents the argument that you’re looking to feel better more so than you are looking to remedy the conflict.

There’s nothing particularly wrong about either option either but it does allow us to entertain the idea that you should love in such a way that the other person feels free to leave or come back when they are ready to.

You see, guilt, fear and anxiety influence us to seek out immediate fixes that may not be possible and the more you try, the longer it may take to get what you want.

I have been trying to remind myself that it is essential to exercise logic and rationality when you’re dealing with emotionally driven problems because emotions do not take a number of relevant factors into consideration.

Entertain the possibility that much like your emotional state is pushing for immediate reconciliation, their emotional state requires space and distance to calm down.

If and when they do unblock you and open communication, you’ll know that it’s because they still care about you and want to resolve things.

That makes it tremendously easier to get your best friend back.

2. Examine your role in the fight

When I was attending university, I remember being averse to the idea of not knowing something. 

If a lecturer asked me a question, the panic, fear, anger and frustration of possibly being wrong were overwhelming in the moment, even if it was fleeting.

And yet, the whole point of being a student is to learn. If I had all the answers, I wouldn’t be a student. 

Thinking on this, I feel like we all have an egoistic desire to be right even if it means embarrassing ourselves, being defensive, avoiding reality and painting fake narratives.

All this just to avoid hurting the ego or allowing it to be diminished. 

Sometimes, this presents itself in arguments and fights with people we care about. 

We struggle to balance our desire to be right with our desire to maintain a relationship with the other party.

Even if we are right, we still have to entertain the idea that it may cost us the friendship in question.

This is why it’s so important to examine your role in the fight.

Before risking the loss of someone altogether, be certain that what you fought for is a good enough reason.

Be sure that you were right so that you mitigate some of the responsibility for why the fight has reached this level.

If you were right but your level of anger and outlash was disproportionate to that of your best friend or the issue, then perhaps it becomes irrelevant whether you were right or not because what caused you to be blocked was how you conducted yourself within the fight rather than the fight itself or the cause of the fight.

By doing this activity, you’ll be able to determine how to fix the friendship and how to apologize.

If you’re going to apologize, you need to know what you’re apologizing for. 

Why? 

Because it will ensure that you’re being sincere in your apology and it will be on the act or subject that your best friend is actually upset about. 

3. Apologize for the part you played in the argument

The way I look at an apology is like this. To provide comfort for the ails of another that you may or may not have caused.

When we look at what makes people comforted, we can argue that we first have to understand how they feel followed by an acknowledgment of those feelings. 

Then, we are to take ownership of the part we played in causing those feelings and then offer a remedy that replenishes what was lost.

For example, if I borrow my friend’s special bicycle and I buckle the wheel while riding carelessly because I ignored his warning about using his bicycle on a particular path. 

Then, for me to make amends, I am to apologize for not only breaking his bicycle but also for ignoring his warning. I am to apologize for being inconsiderate and careless in handling his bicycle and his trust in me to take care of his precious belongings. 

Furthermore, I am to express how sorry I am for all of the above and then take ownership for doing these things. I am to explain how, in the future, I will not make the same choices or mistakes again and I can go so far as to offer to repair his bicycle.

Beyond that, there’s really nothing more that I need to do or can do.

That’s an apology with sincerity, maturity, honesty and integrity. 

You’re now displaying genuine care for your friend and his feelings as well as his belongings. 

If he or she chooses to continue fighting with you or blocking you, then that is not your fault because you’ve done everything humanly possible to remedy and replenish what was damaged and lost.

Whether it’s enough for them is up to your friend. But, it’s enough in terms of what you need to and can do. 

More often than not, I believe that this type of apology will fix things unless all trust has been destroyed and there’s no respect remaining.

Your apology will serve as a tool for preventing hatred or bitterness but the friendship may be over.

But, if you want the best chance at doing what’s right or saving the friendship, then this is how you approach an apology. 

4. Express a desire to communicate 

Reach out to your best friend after your apology to try and talk to them.

Let them know that you miss them and would really like to hash things out because you value their friendship and their presence in your life.

Sometimes, people walk away because they feel unheard, unloved and unappreciated.

By making an effort like this, you’re remedying the feelings that push them to block you after a fight.

5. Let them go

Unfortunately, not all friendships are meant to last a lifetime. This doesn’t minimize the importance of friendship by any means. But, it does paint a realistic picture of the complexity of relationships and friendships as time goes on.

You cannot be the only one extending an olive branch nor can you be expected to extend it time after time only to be met with silence and hostility.

At a certain point, you have to step away from the situation and think about whether you deserve to be treated this way.

If you do, then is there really any hope to get your best friend back? This is something worth exploring even if the answer isn’t what you want.

If you don’t deserve this treatment, then should you be sacrificing your dignity continuously for the friendship?

In both scenarios, we circle back to the same conclusion that it may be best for you to let them go without closing the door.

This is the last thing you are to do after trying everything we discussed above.

Perhaps, when your best friend realizes that you are going to stop chasing after them and that you did everything you can to get them back, this may trigger a reality check for your best friend.

He or she may realize that if they don’t do anything now, then the friendship is absolutely finished and done with.

If they still care about the friendship, I’m willing to bet that they will unblock you after a fight and your apology.

If they don’t care, the chances of them coming back for a long time is slim.

Related post: 10 signs your friend doesn’t care about you

In Conclusion

While I sat at my desk thinking about an ideal conclusion for this article, it dawned on me that I didn’t mention something important and often overlooked in this situation. What if your best friend is toxic?

Sometimes, you may find yourself closely linked with someone who uses toxic traits to manipulate, deceive and gaslight you into doing and being what they want. 

A healthy friendship does not have room for constant disrespect and devious intentions. Please keep that in mind. Perhaps, your best friend blocking you after a fight might be the best thing for you in the long run.

Really think about that while you’re in the process of deciding on how to address the issue.

With that being said, I hope this article on “what should I do if my best friend blocked me after a fight” was practical, helpful and thought-provoking. If you have any questions or thoughts that you would like to share, go ahead and do so by visiting the comment section below.