The only way to preserve the quality and good nature of your relationship is to educate yourself on the issues that could cause a breakup. This is why it is imperative and incumbent on you to learn and familiarize yourself with all of the long distance relationship break up signs.
I’ve been in my fair share of long distance relationships and consider myself to be a master of how to get them right and wrong.
These long distance relationship break up signs become the most common and significant reasons why relationships fail.
With that being the case, here’s a quick overview of these long distance relationship break up signs:
- Trust issues.
- Compatibility issues.
- Flirting online.
- Lack of effort and distancing.
- Disinterest in having a long distance relationship goal.
- Poor communication.
- The relationship gets boring and predictable.
Okay now that we have covered the brief overview of what signs to look out for and red flags, let’s analyze each of them and identify why they cause long distance relationships to end.
1. Trust issues
When you or your partner struggle to trust each other, the relationship is bound to suffer. Understandably, with the distance and inability to be an active and regular part of each other’s life in person, it’s difficult to maintain blind faith.
However, not developing a means of dealing with those trust issues together will weigh heavily against you.
When one partner starts to suspect the other of cheating, it’s usually the beginning of the end because there is very little that can be done from a distance.
If you are battling with insecurities that have given you trust issues, check out this article on how to overcome the fear of being cheated on.
2. Compatibility issues
Not all reasons for why relationships fail or fall apart are caused by one party or the other. In fact, there may be no reason at all to shoulder any blame on either of you because compatibility issues do not necessitate someone doing something wrong.
Whether it be relational, ideological, psychological, cultural or religious differences, they play a role in every relationship.
Sometimes two people who love each other cannot justify being together with major compatibility issues hanging over their heads.
In which case, those very same compatibility issues become long distance relationship break up signs.
To determine whether you have compatibility issues with your partner, consider whether you both bicker or fight alot because of that particular difference.
If so, then it is definitely a long distance relationship red flag. If not, then the problem may have to do with something else.
3. Flirting online
Ever since social media took the world by storm, it has made infidelity a lot easier. It’s just a fact. People can log online and start flirting with strangers in minutes.
Don’t be the kind of partner who is constantly stalking your partners online activity but if there are signs for concern, make a note of it.
Particularly, people who comment on your partner’s posts and images in a way that seems personal or suspicious. As if they know each other. And make a note of his or her reaction to it.
I have been in this situation before and unfortunately, where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
Lay the boundaries of your relationship from the get go. If your partner truly respects you, he or she won’t engage people in a flirtatious manner online.
4. Lack of effort and distancing
All relationships go through different phases of interest. It’s the peak and valley effect. When things are great, the level of effort comes naturally. When things are not so good, the level of effort has to be intensified by choice.
If someone in the relationship seems disinterested, doesn’t make an effort to video call, won’t text as often or have conversations that facilitate bonding, it’s going to make the situation worse.
A lack of effort and distancing is one of the most common long distance relationship break up signs.
The only option at your disposal is to have a compassionate conversation with your partner about your needs or pull back your effort if he or she refuses to show any interest.
5. Disinterest in having a long distance relationship goal
The goal of any long distance relationship is to bridge the gap. It is the mutual agreement to eventually live together or take the relationship to a new level.
If one or neither of you has any interest in setting up future plans of meeting each other, there’s no point in the relationship.
What I have noticed is that people in relationships like this are often just codependent on each other from a distance and when the time to fulfill in-person connection appears, one or both of you will bail.
Don’t be the driving force of a one sided relationship. Focus your energy on someone who wants to be with you as much as you do.
6. Poor communication
In my article about the reasons why relationships fail and fall apart, I made an emphasis on how a lack of communication is the biggest contributor to the death of a relationship.
Nothing can be resolved without communication. In long distance relationships, communication is the one and only way to keep things together.
It dictates more effort towards listening and speaking clearly about needs and wants.
However, when a long-distance couple can’t effectively communicate with each other, everything will fall apart. This is another significant long-distance relationship break up sign.
For context, here’s what happened to me. One of the habits my ex had was to use the silent treatment on me or ask for a break when things weren’t so great.
When this happened during the last phase of our relationship, I knew this was the beginning of the end.
And it did infact end, badly at first. Why? Because the communication fell apart before the breakup.
Limited or no communication will ultimately end a relationship.
Now, I have implemented a simple technique to keep my current relationship firing on all cylinders. I ask my partner to rate me as a significant other on a week by week basis.
I do the same as well.
We don’t use this as an excuse to criticize or insult each other. Instead, this has become an activity that critiques our behavior constructively. We share how we felt and ways in which we could have been better.
This has prevented us from drifting apart or fighting for significant periods of time.
7. The relationship gets boring and predictable
I don’t blame anyone for feeling this way but long distance relationships cannot offer much when there are no plans of meeting or doing things together.
When I was young, I never truly grasped the concept of love. I just enjoyed feeling it.
What I never pieced together back then was that love developed via experiences.
You grow fonder and more attracted to someone by spending valuable time with them.
A relationship is the agreement to share the journey of life together. You have to actually be together and do things to share the journey.
If a long-distance relationship falls into a comfort zone that diminishes all excitement and thrill, it poses the risk of becoming stale and boring. Eventually, the distance and lack of communication will cause a huge drift and the untimely end.
8. Someone gets busier and busier
As we get older, we get busier. I look around me and I see people falling deeper and deeper into the rat race of life. It can’t be helped.
But if one or both of you become too consumed by life, it’s not uncommon for that event to become the catalyst for the change in your relationship.
The distance is exacerbated by the lack of presence and effort in the relationship which will cause feelings to diminish.
Love may last a lifetime but it takes consistent effort and presence.
What to do if your long distance relationship is on shaky ground
The first course of action is to determine if you can change the situation by showing up more or altering your behavior.
Thereafter, you have to initiate a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner without assigning blame to anyone.
What ensues after the conversation will determine whether it can survive this rough patch.
If your partner is on board with saving the relationship, the next course of action would be to draw up a list of things to work on in the relationship.
From the communication to planning dates when you both can meet, focus on all the practical fixes you can make before branching out to other fixes that require a more passive address.
What you don’t want to do is incessantly chase your partner. That’s my advice to you.
And if you have no option but to let go of a long distance relationship, do not beat yourself up over it because you tried to fix things and that’s what counts.
Chasing someone who doesn’t make an effort will only diminish your worth and value in the relationship. The only instance when pursuing your partner is allowed is if you were the one who neglected and failed to show up in the relationship.
There is no instant fix to situations like this unfortunately. It will take time, effort, patience and dedication but it can be salvaged.
So long as there’s a mutual understanding, you can save this long distance relationship.
My hope with this article is that you are more equipped to spot and fix issues in your long distance relationship before it’s too late.
Always prioritize love and romance in a relationship. Even if you have been together for a significant amount of time, don’t neglect each other. This will serve you well.
Let me know what your thoughts are on these long distance relationship break up signs in the comment section below.
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