Breakups can be so messy. We’ve all been through it at some point or the other. Trying to establish how your ex feels can be difficult when they’re being cold, distant, unresponsive and quiet. You may be struggling to answer the following question, is my ex over me or just angry? Well, here’s how to find out and what to look for.
To determine if your ex is over you or just angry, you need to examine how long it’s been since you both have talked, if they reply to your texts, if they are displaying any emotion towards you or appearing indifferent and if they are dating other people or not.
An appropriate question to ask yourself is this, Is there something that they can be upset and angry about apart from the breakup?
Typically, when the answer to this question is in the affirmative, then there’s a strong likelihood that your ex is just angry and not necessarily over you.
Even though it’s a bit difficult to tell the difference, there are subtle signs that your ex is either over you or just angry.
In this article, I’m going to share everything you need to know in order to figure out whether your ex is over you or just angry.
Related post: Does he want me to chase him or leave him alone?
How to tell if your ex is over you
1. They haven’t replied to your texts in weeks
Whenever someone gives you the silent treatment, you can assume one of two things, they’re either over you or they’re angry with you.
The only way to determine between the two is when you reach out to them and the time it’s been since you last spoke.
If you reach out to find out what’s wrong or to apologize and you’re met with an emotional or slightly upset response from your ex, then it’s safe to say that they’re just angry with you.
However, if you don’t hear back or they seem completely unbothered by you, then it’s highly possible that they’re actually over you.
The longer they don’t reply to your texts, the more we can assume that they’re over you.
This is even more apparent when you send double texts or triple texts only to be met with silence.
Related post: Why did my ex block me out of nowhere?
2. They don’t take or return your calls
Texts are one thing but ignoring calls or not returning them is a clear sign that your ex is over you.
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Here’s what I know, an ex who is angry with you will engage in a conversation when you reach out.
They still have feelings for you and they want to feed this by engaging in a dialogue, even if it’s to fight and argue.
I’m willing to bet they’ll answer your call or return it eventually if they’re just angry.
If they don’t or if they act completely cold and surprised that you’re calling, it means that they’re not angry but over you.
A lack of all contact is a big sign that an ex has moved on.
3. They treat you like a friend
Nothing signifies the end of romantic attachment than a platonic demeanor around your ex.
It may seem impossible to you because at this moment, you may still feel attracted or attached to your ex.
But he or she may not feel the same way.
Their attachment has passed and so has their romantic attraction.
And so, they’re able to talk to you in a different way that you may not be familiar with.
They don’t reply to you fast or often and if they do, it’s really non-flirtatious and completely friendly.
When they see you, they try to keep their distance and they ask mundane questions instead of appearing to be flustered, excited or attracted.
This shift in behavior is a sign that your ex is over you.
Related post: She wants to be friends after dumping me
4. They’re dating other people
Ordinarily, I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that dating other people is a sign your ex is over you.
If that were the case, rebound relationships would be highly successful but they aren’t.
Why?
Because most people realize that you can’t replace your feelings for one person with another.
You have to work through those feelings and let it pass over time.
Dating other people may help a little but it doesn’t signify a complete loss of feelings unless they have completely fallen out of love before ending the relationship or it’s been a significant period of time since the two of you have split.
If this is the case, then I’d say that he or she is over you.
5. They’re indifferent towards you
The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.
A lack of care is the biggest telltale sign that your ex is over you.
By lack of care, I mean that they appear to be disinterested in anything to do with you or a potential relationship between the two of you.
They’re not angry and feel there’s no need to say or do anything.
In other words, they treat you like anyone else and that means they’re over you.
Related post: 8 Signs me ex is over me and doesn’t care anymore
How to tell if your ex is just angry with you
1. They are clearly giving you the silent treatment
The easiest way to tell when someone is giving you the silent treatment because they’re angry is by looking at the conversation leading up to it.
If the two of you were talking frequently and something you said or did could be interpreted as hurtful or disrespectful followed by an immediate silence from your ex, that would indicate anger instead of being completely over you.
Furthermore, this entire thing occurred within a short time after the split.
Once you reach out inquiring what’s wrong or to apologize, it’s likely that they’ll respond either saying they’re fine (which means they’re not) or they’ll go into a monologue about how upset they were with you.
2. They’re posting things about you or your relationship on social media
There’s not many things more obvious that an ex is angry than picture quotes, status updates and videos that all have an underlying tone of hurt and anger of behavior.
You’ll see a trend of relationship quotes or anger being shared that seems relevant to your split or issues.
That is by design and your ex is related to this stuff so much right now because they’re angry with you.
Of course, there’s also the possibility that your ex directly expresses her anger over something you said or did on social media.
That’s not only obvious but awkward as well.
3. They blocked you immediately after an argument
Understandably, getting blocked by an ex can look like they’re over you or it can look like they’re angry at you.
To differentiate between the two, you need to examine the conversations leading up to it.
Did your ex suddenly block you after weeks of being distant and barely talking? If so, then they’re over you or trying to move on.
If they immediately blocked you as a result of a message or event that took place after the split, that indicates anger more so than indifference.
An emotional reaction of that nature is evident of anger which is evident of residual feelings.
Related post: She blocked me after an argument
4. They keep arguing with you over something specific
You may notice that whenever you reach out to your ex, they seem cold or bitter. Their standoffish nature seems like they’re over you.
But, things soon devolve into an argument over what seemingly seems like nothing.
This is actually a sign they’re angry with you about something bigger and it keeps leaking into every interaction.
Alternatively, you may have asked if they’re angry and they replied with a dismissive and short response.
Perhaps, you left it at that and tried to pretend like things are fine only for your ex to act more reserved, distant, cold and bitter.
If you try to be a bit more persistent about them telling you what’s wrong, if they’re angry, they’ll probably drop the act and start divulging all their issues with you that have made them angry.
If they’re not, they’ll just keep maintaining the same response that they’re not angry.
In conclusion
What I’ve come to realize is that when someone is angry with you, they’ll be unnecessarily cold, standoffish, rude or distant from you.
You’ll sense tension between the two of you and if you try to examine events leading up to this behavior, you’ll find things that could have triggered this reaction from your ex.
When you finally approach him or her about it and try to get to the bottom of why they’re angry with you, they’ll eventually crack and tell you.
The ones who are not angry will not be so obvious.
They’ll appear extremely indifferent and that is in keeping with the idea that they are over with you.
That’s the biggest difference between the two, indifference.
With that being said, I hope this article on whether or not your ex is over you or just angry was helpful and insightful. If you have any questions or thoughts to share with me on this topic, please feel free to do so by visiting the comment section below.