Gender based violence is rampant. We hear many accounts of women who have been abused by men, especially in romantic relationships, but the far majority of cases are unspoken and unheard.
Speak to abused women and they all echo the same emotions – confusion, shame, fear, distrust and anxiety.
What begins as a ‘one off’ hit during an ‘argument’ gradually develops into regular beatings that come without warning.
From the outside looking in, the average perspective is to just leave a man who hits you. But, what most people don’t understand is the mental and emotional programming that develops through abuse.
To an abused victim, the thought of leaving can sometimes be more terrifying than actually remaining within an abusive relationship.
There are girls who grow up exposed to their mother being abused by their own father. What should be viewed as an instant deal breaker and crime is almost normalized in these young and impressionable minds.
These girls go on to date and when they encounter an abusive boyfriend, instead of leaving at the sign of a massive red flag, they remain in the relationship because this is what they witness growing up.
When chaos is all you know, it feels like home, even if it’s hell.
So, to clarify, is it normal for my boyfriend to hit me?
It is not normal nor is it acceptable. Physical abuse is nothing short of destructive and a man who hits you has little to no respect or love for you. True love doesn’t harm, it protects.
What is normal for a boyfriend to do is to treat you with respect, kindness and affection.
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It’s Never Okay For Your Boyfriend To Hit You!
I am completely aware of the degeneracy in our society. With the rise of incels, it comes as no surprise to me that relationships are suffering, divorce is rampant, abuse is on the rise and more people are remaining single.
I want you to realize that there is no greater betrayal than a man physically hitting you.
Trust me, I don’t say that lightly.
Not even being cheated on, which is one of the worst forms of betrayal, is as bad as being physically harmed by a man who is supposed to protect you, love you and cherish you.
If you are dealing with a boyfriend who hits you, tell someone you trust and get away from him as quickly as you can.
If you are dealing with ongoing abuse, seek help immediately and report him to the authorities.
I understand that you are afraid but you have to find a way out.
Do not accept this behavior as normal because it isn’t, not under any circumstance.
When it comes to sexual situations, I know that the water can become murky. Granted, people have kinks but the difference between rough play and abuse is consent, enjoyment and intent.
Personally, I don’t get it but I am aware of it.
I won’t delve too deep into the topic of kinks because I want this article to focus predominantly on abuse.
I know that these situations can get complex and there are instances when someone may make a mistake once and then show genuine remorse and seek out therapy to fix their issues.
Even then, it doesn’t change the fact that this individual is capable of hurting you physically in this relationship.
I would say the same thing if someone cheats.
Perhaps, it was a one time thing and they will commit to change. There’s a chance that they made a genuine lapse in judgment and it’s something that will never happen again because they are truly remorseful and committed to fixing whatever reason led to that misjudgment.
But, it doesn’t erase the fact that they cheated on you.
The relationship you had before is gone and now you know that they are capable of cheating on you.
You’ll have to enforce new boundaries to protect yourself but you’ll never be able to fix or change them.
And you know what, you shouldn’t have to.
I have a feeling that if you are reading this article, this isn’t the case.
Your boyfriend has probably hit you a few times and you’re growing concerned.
I’m also aware that he appeared all upset about hurting you, apologized, gaslit you and provided you with a sad story about the demons from his past.
And yet, none of that matters.
He could have been through a war but that doesn’t justify his actions for hurting you.
It doesn’t matter what his story is.
You have to find a safe way to get out and protect yourself.
If you were looking for some reason to say that it is normal for your boyfriend to hit you, I can’t give that to you because there isn’t.
You need to read this article: How to get out of an abusive relationship
Before you leave this article, I just want to say that you deserve better.
When you’re being abused or cheated on, it may appear to you like this is something that everyone goes through but it isn’t.
There are people out there who would never cheat on you nor would they ever hit you.
The damage caused from an abusive relationship not only affects you but will eventually affect your children and family.
It’s just not worth it to risk all of that on a boyfriend who hits you.
It just isn’t.
What I hope is that you make the right decision for your wellbeing, safety and happiness.
So, no, it is not normal or okay for your boyfriend to hit you.