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In this day and age, relationships are more volatile than they have ever been. Forgive me for sounding like a fossil from yesteryear but relationships and marriages were a lot easier to nurture before the likes of social media apps. But, is Instagram toxic for relationships or is it shouldering unfair blame for the fragility of modern relationships?
Honestly, I am of the opinion that Instagram is toxic for relationships if used without moderation and careful consideration for the sanctity of a relationship. Instagram makes it ridiculously easy to compare, deceive, lie and entertain other people outside of your relationship. For these reasons, it is most certainly toxic.
If you’re not careful, it’s easy to get sucked into behaviors that jeopardize your happiness and the quality of your relationship.
Even if you don’t intend on partaking in any of the things mentioned above, you may fall victim to it.
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Reasons Why Instagram Is Toxic For Couples
1. It creates a false sense of reality
Think of every time you posted a picture on Instagram, didn’t you look for the perfect shot, with the right lighting and filter to make it look as amazing as possible?
You want to impress, I get it.
It starts off with a simple desire that gradually disintegrates into an obsession with digital perfection.
Not only is this unreal but it’s unsustainable.
That level of consciousness ends up bleeding into reality and places unnecessary pressure on you and your partner to look and behave in a manner that’s congruent with the Instagram identity you’ve created.
You’re going to end up unhappy and struggling to enjoy precious time with your partner because of it.
2. Certain trends perpetuate poor morals
Let’s be honest, not every trend that makes its way onto social media is a good thing.
You’re exposing yourself to random people with differing views and various moral codes that may not align with your true identity.
The pressure of wanting to fit in and follow along with what garners attention can influence you and your partner to behave in ways that do not serve the relationship or the life that you are trying to live.
3. You’ll end up comparing your relationship to others
Nothing steals joy and gratitude like comparison.
I’ve been a victim of this and my relationship in the past has also been a victim of comparison.
If you’re someone who struggles with shiny object syndrome or the grass is greener syndrome, you are at a disadvantage being online.
It’s like window shopping for another relationship based on a false narrative.
There’s always going to be someone more attractive than your partner and a relationship that’s more exciting than yours online.
It’s the nature of the game.
But, should you be exposing yourself to that regularly?
Just because you like what you see, does it mean that you should discard what you have or what you’re building?
Should you even look at your person or your relationship in that manner?
These are questions that you need to ask yourself because it’s important if you want to reduce the risk of ruining your own enjoyment in the relationship.
The ironic thing about all of this is a simple fact that there isn’t a perfect person or perfect relationship out there.
Every single one is flawed in some way.
Be sure to take that into account the next time you’re on Instagram and subconsciously comparing your relationship.
When you find yourself unhappy and dissatisfied in your relationship because you’re too busy comparing your partner and relationship to someone and something else, be sure to also compare what your life will look like without your partner in it altogether.
Picture them out of your life, with someone else, living the life that you are taking for granted right now.
Because let me tell you something, you don’t just get to walk away and pretend like what you had didn’t exist.
Reality will come knocking and you best be ready to live with the consequences of comparison.
4. It can influence a wandering eye or create temptation
One of the reasons why divorce rates are high and more people struggle to find partners is because of an abundance of options.
It should be the opposite, right?
You would think that social media helps people to connect.
The problem is that when you have too many options, you end up picking none.
What’s also problematic is the constant attention you may receive online.
Just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean that you won’t find other people attractive in some way.
Typically, you ought to recognize this, brush it off and move on with your life.
But, when you allow yourself to indulge in attention and attraction outside of your relationship, even online, you open the door to unnecessary temptation.
Perhaps, this would explain why cheating is so prevalent and monogamous relationships are facing challenges.
We’re programming our minds by viewing people as options instead of as human beings.
Instagram is the worse place for this because you’re not only exposing yourself to people who are portraying a version of themselves and their lives in a polished manner but you’re also receiving unfair attention from these people.
It’s dangerous and I think couples who do not have boundaries for social media usage face an uphill battle.
5. You waste valuable time on Instagram
We know that love and closeness are nurtured via shared experiences and connectedness.
Ironically, it’s being connected online at all times that can fracture the connection in a relationship.
I want you to go out for lunch or dinner, sit at the mall even and pay attention to the couples around you.
Count how many of them are frequently distracted by their phones or glued to them.
Observe those who are far too busy trying to take the perfect picture instead of experiencing the romantic moment with their partner.
You’ll be shocked by how many people are doing this.
Then, months or years down the line, they’re shocked to discover that their partner is a stranger to them or feels completely disconnected from the relationship.
Social media addiction is a reality.
Not only is it addictive but it also lowers our tolerance for long-form focus.
It wires our brains to seek out distractions and entertainment every couple of minutes.
Think about the time you could be spending having a deep and soulful conversation with your partner instead of scrolling through your Instagram feed!
Imagine how close you would feel to each other.
6. You’re giving people access to critique your private life
Fundamentally, a relationship should exist between the parties within it.
And yet, when we use Instagram to share detailed shots of our romantic life, we invite strangers to criticize and deconstruct our relationships.
We don’t know which of these people actually have our best intentions at heart.
In fact, I would argue that everyone has someone in their life who is secretly jealous and resentful.
They don’t actually want you to progress further than them and like a wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing, they pretend to care about your best interest only to whisper ideas into your ear that are detrimental to your overall happiness and wellbeing.
Why do you think so many celebs and influencers struggle to maintain a healthy love life?
They can’t obtain any privacy and this chips away at their happiness.
Related post: How to bring mystery back into a relationship
Final Thoughts
As much as this article paints a distinctly aggressive image of why Instagram is toxic for relationships, I don’t believe that it has to be eliminated altogether.
In fact, I would go so far as to even argue that Instagram can have no adverse effects on your relationship if used in moderation and with boundaries.
Find a healthy balance between your online persona and the life you are trying to live without making the former bleed too much into the latter and you’ll be quite fine.
Trust me, I know that there are some people who have used these social media platforms to make a living or to acquire fame surrounding their relationship.
That’s great for them.
But, just because they have doesn’t mean that you should.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on why is Instagram toxic for relationships to be insightful and interesting. If you have any questions or thoughts that you would like to share with me on this topic, please do so by visiting the comment section below to let me know.