The early days of dating can be quite exciting but also confusing. Someone can run hot and cold unexpectedly and this can leave you with a lot of uncertainty. So, in today’s article, I’m going to answer the following question so that you don’t have to waste more of your time and energy on the wrong man. Is he busy or not interested?
Determining whether he is busy or not interested will depend on his work schedule, lifestyle, behavior and transparency about his feelings. If he doesn’t make much time for you, always makes excuses for why he can’t see you but seems available to others, makes no effort to get to know you and isn’t flirty or romantic, then he most likely is not interested.
Understandably, it may be difficult to decipher between a man who is busy and one who is not interested in you.
The behavior may seem similar but there’s a fine line and subtle differences between the two.
I’ll share those differences with you below but what’s important to note is that a man who isn’t interested will always make excuses for why he doesn’t show up or won’t make an effort.
He’s seemingly too busy but if you observe his texting habits, overall activities and so-called stories, you’ll start to piece together a narrative that reveals his true interest level.
Nobody is too busy to send back a text in many days. Nobody is too busy to only see you when they want something from you.
Those are just the signs of someone who is only interested in their own selfish desires rather than a genuine connection with you.
The fact that you’re reading this article makes me wonder whether you’re being strung along or not.
If a carrot is being dangled in front of your face but it’s not actually attainable, it would make sense why you’re so confused.
He may be displaying some behavior that appears as if he is interested but when you try to engage his feelings, you’re met with a wall and many excuses.
With that being said, let’s take a look at all of the factors that can help us in determining if he is busy or not interested.
Related post: How to tell if someone doesn’t care about you
How To Tell If He’s Busy Or Not Interested In You Anymore
1. His work schedule
It’s not uncommon for a man who is either busy or not interested to be consumed by work. Most people are able to dial into their job or business and focus on it.
The difference between the two men is that the one who is legitimately busy with work will find or make time for you.
When he is free, you’ll notice that he focuses on either communicating with you or meeting you.
Whereas the man who isn’t interested will neither communicate well nor make any effort to meet.
I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t have an hour a week to spare for someone they’re interested in.
That’s the truth.
Even if you’re doing a long-distance courtship, there’s no way that he can’t make time in his day or in his week for a video call date.
I’ve noticed that a sudden change in his interest that is excused away by work that doesn’t have a deadline is a sign of him blowing you off.
Yes, deadlines and phases of intense work take place in any work environment but they have an endpoint. Thereafter, things return to normal.
If he isn’t offering up any form of date to explain when things will return to normal and he just claims that he’s unsure when things will get better, then you’re dealing with a man who is actually not interested.
Related post: Should I text him or wait?
2. His lifestyle
Lifestyle can play a factor in how busy someone may be. You may be dating a man who has many businesses or is inundated with goals and plans.
He could be a frequent flyer or someone who has to spend a lot of time on the road.
These lifestyle factors would obviously play a role in his relationships but never to the point where you can hardly get a hold of him.
People are extremely adaptable and a man who is interested in you will be excited to talk or be with you.
He’ll even look for an excuse to see you or he’ll find ways to incorporate quality time with you into his lifestyle.
He may invite you to certain activities that he partakes in so that the two of you can spend more time together.
For example, a musician may invite you to shows he’s playing at or to rehearsals so that you can at least be around him.
A man who isn’t interested will just use his lifestyle as an excuse.
In fact, he may not actually have that crazy of a lifestyle and still use it as an excuse.
3. His behavior
Now, I’m pretty sure that a man who is busy and a man who is not interested will share one thing in common, they’re unavailable for a long stretch of time.
But, what separates one from the other is how he behaves with you and around you.
A man who is legitimately busy but still interested in you will make plans to see you, he’ll reply to your as soon as he can, his replies remain engaging and enthusiastic as well as flirty, he keeps his word, he doesn’t blow you off and everything other than the amount of time he has to work remains the same.
A man who is not interested will start to behave very unpredictably. You’ll never know when to expect him to show up.
When he texts, calls or meets you, he may seem bored, distracted or distant.
Furthermore, he doesn’t flirt with you and has all sorts of silly excuses for why he can’t provide you with any information on when things will normalize or when you’ll see him again.
He’ll run hot and cold and his behavior online won’t match his excuse of being too busy.
You may notice that he’s online often but not replying to you or busy commenting on other girls posts with much more enthusiasm than he is with you.
My advice to you would be this – pay attention to what a man does and not just what he says. His actions should be congruent with his words.
Related post: When he’s on social media but can’t text back
4. His transparency about his feelings
Let’s be honest, most women can intuitively tell when a man has feelings for them. Granted, it may not be clear but you can tell by certain things he says or does that he’s interested in you.
The thing with interest is that it’s not a certainty for the development of deeper feelings.
A man can be incredibly interested in you and eventually lose all interest within a few weeks.
It happens and that’s perhaps why so many people dread dating at times.
But, when a man is interested in you, he’s almost transparent about his feelings.
In other words, he’s complimentary of you, he’s flirtatious, he’s excited, he’s enthusiastic and he’s playful or passionate.
When these feelings start to dissipate or are missing altogether, chances are such that he’s actually not interested.
If he’s busy, you’re not going to be around him enough to measure his level of interest.
However, when you do speak to him or see him those things that I mentioned above should be noticeable to you.
If it is, then he’s really just busy but still interested.
If they’re not and you leave the interaction feeling utterly confused, fearful, desperate and rejected to some degree, then he’s probably not interested.
Related post: How do I tell if he loves me?
During the very early days of dating, it’s not such a big deal to go through something like this.
If there’s genuine interest and attraction, as the days go on and you spend more time with each other, his interest should grow and he ought to be trying to talk to you more or see you more.
If none of that is happening and you’re many weeks deep into this but the only one making all the effort to keep things alive is you, then it’s a big possibility that he isn’t busy, he is just not interested anymore.
I know that it might sting to face rejection, especially when you’re really interested in him but this is part of the process of finding someone with who you will go on to have a meaningful relationship.
What I will say to you is this, when a man disqualifies himself from your life, let him walk and don’t waste your time trying to hold onto him.
Let him go and create space for a man who will treat you with love, respect, and adoration.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on whether or not he is busy or not interested to be eye-opening and helpful. If you would like for me to answer a specific question in a future post, be sure to head over to the comment section below and let me know.