I’ve written quite a few articles on texting etiquette and something that constantly pops up in most questions and emails I receive is double texting. Some people use double texting as a way to develop interest whereas others double text to the point of spamming people out of their lives. This begs the question, is double texting a turn off?
I am of the opinion that double texting is a turn off if you’re talking to someone who doesn’t have a high level of interest in you or if you’re double texting too frequently. Otherwise, sending a double text can be viewed as sweet, thoughtful and a sign of interest which isn’t a turn off under normal circumstances and in normal relationships.
The worst thing you can do is double text someone who has rejected you. It’s not going to change their mind about you. If anything, it’s going to make them perceive you as desperate, clingy or insecure.
That’s not attractive at all.
If you’re going to demand respect from people around you, it’s imperative that you start with yourself.
When you possess and earn a healthy amount of self-respect, you won’t find yourself double texting and chasing someone who treats you like a low-priority individual in their life.
You’ll view that behavior as a waste of your time.
At this point in my life, I would rather be alone than reward someone with my time and effort for treating me like an option.
Do you know why?
Because when I’m alone, I’m with myself. Since I’m working on my relationship with myself, I know that I can treat myself with respect and dignity.
So, why would I chase after someone who can’t even make an effort to respect me enough to reply to my text?
Here’s what happens when you adopt a mindset like this.
You begin to weed out those people who are either not interested in you, toxic, unworthy, taken or users.
Any interest you may have in them is snuffed out because you know, innately, that the only validation you need is from yourself.
Then, you start to gravitate towards the people who respect you and have an interest in you.
When you’re around such people, they value your time and you value their time,
That results in healthy conversations that are built on mutual respect, mutual interest, mutual value and mutual integrity.
When you double text such a person for some reason, they’re happy and turned on by it.
That’s the difference!
Also, there aren’t many opportunities to double text them because the conversation flows with ease.
Most of the time, people who double text often are experiencing insecurity and uncertainty.
It’s not just because they’re insecure.
Sometimes, the other person is behaving in a manner that causes them to feel these emotions.
You’re not going to be placed in that position with people who are genuinely interested in you and value your time.
Related post: Do girls like texting?
How To Double Text Without Turning Off The Other Person
I’m going to share a summarized version of how I would use double texting in a positive way and avoid being a turn off.
You don’t want to do the following:
- Ask them if they’re ignoring you.
- Ask them if they’re talking to other people.
- Try to find out if they still like you.
- Get angry and lash out.
- Being insulting and throwing a hissy fit.
- Disrespecting them.
- Making threats about cutting them off or doing the same thing.
Don’t do any of these things.
If you ask any of those questions, what makes you think that you’ll be met with honesty?
Secondly, what makes you think that these reactions are going to come across as self-respecting and confident?
Don’t diminish yourself based on someone’s actions or lack thereof.
Here’s what you want to do.
Send a straightforward, short and non-aggressive message.
Keep it easy and simple.
What if you’re jumping to assumptions and the other person is genuinely busy or unable to text you back?
You’re going to look like a jerk for lashing out and making it an issue, especially if this is a one-off incident.
Instead, send a message just to check up on them and this will give you an idea of what their intentions are.
If he or she replies apologetically, enthusiastically and with something that looks like a genuine reason for why they hadn’t replied in a few hours, then you know that things are okay and you may be reading into the situation too much.
Also, you’ll find that the conversation turns fun again and they’re still showing high levels of interest.
But, if they’re dismissive or take a long time to reply to your double text while they’re still online and so forth, then you know that something’s wrong.
At that point, instead of chasing them which will only chase them away from you, it would be a smart decision to match and mirror their effort.
In doing this, you’re asserting your boundaries and letting him or her know that you aren’t going to give show up for someone who isn’t willing to make an effort to show up as well.
I want you to also remember that no relationship can maintain one level of interest and closeness.
Fluctuations are expected.
When they do, you have to permit the space needed for interest and desire to grow again so that the two of you are enthusiastic to be around each other.
I’m not advising you to put up with no effort.
Just that you should avoid double texting when you can see that the other person is slowly losing interest.
There always needs to be a healthy amount of space from each other to maintain mystery and excitement.
I have learned this the hard way and I hope that you consider this.
Related post: When you double text and they reply straight away
If you aren’t notorious for double texting and it’s just something you do when situations call for it, there’s no reason to overthink it or refrain from it altogether.
The people who double text frequently and find that it’s synonymous with rejection have to attack this issue as their romantic life depends on it.
To determine whether a particular action is ruining your relationships or not, simply count the number of times you’ve done it and that relationship didn’t work out or you got rejected.
At that point, you’ll get an answer.
If it’s an answer that makes you uncomfortable, then that is probably the biggest sign that you need to work on your texting skills because there’s a problem there.
But, I will say this.
If you have the time to double text people all day, then you are not chasing a life of excellence.
That’s my honest opinion.
The next question I have for you is this, why aren’t you using your time fruitfully? Do you not believe that you deserve to be excellent, successful, rich, fit and healthy?
Because if you’re trying to achieve excellence in all areas of your life, there’s no time for you to be sitting on your phone all day and double texting people to the point of turning them off.
You need to get your priorities in order if this is something that you are guilty of doing.
With that being said, I hope you found this article on whether or not double texting is a turn off. If you have any questions or thoughts on this topic that you would like to share with me, I strongly encourage you to let me know by leaving a comment down below.