If you’ve ever wondered whether chasing a girl is worth your time, it isn’t. Despite what is projected in movies and romantic novels, chasing a woman is counterproductive and a waste of time. Why? Here’s why.
Rather than chasing a girl who isn’t interested in you, it would be far more useful to spend your valuable time on women who find you attractive and are down to earth.
What do I mean by down to earth? I simply mean a humble woman. The definition of humble may vary from person to person but the overall essence remains the same.
A humble woman is someone who does not think she is better than everyone else.
Arrogance and conceitedness are two of the most unattractive qualities in a person.
The sad truth is that most men and women mistake arrogance and conceit for confidence. I understand why though because they project similar traits but there is a fine difference.
A confident person does not measure themselves against others with the intention of diminishing others.
In other words, a confident person can appreciate the qualities and worth of someone else without negative comparison.
That is a valuable trait in this day and age. We live in a time when superficial nonsense dictates social media.
Rather than place a higher emphasis on character, society has allowed itself to value superficiality, money and status over everything else. This in turn breathes a vocal and loud group in society who embody arrogance and conceit.
Forgive me, I went off on a tangent but the point I am trying to make is that a high-quality woman would not make you chase her indefinitely. She may test you or encourage pursuit but it’s often subtle.
She will not leave you feeling undervalued, unappreciated or diminished.
Why? Because her character is not wired to do so. She values honesty and well being so even if she isn’t interested, she will do her best not to hurt or diminish you in the process.
Arrogant and conceited women will intentionally or unintentionally reject you in the worst of ways. Not because they’re necessarily bad people or want to hurt you.
It’s because they use the situation to inflate their insatiable appetite for arrogance and conceit.
Given how difficult it is to determine whether a woman is confident and humble or arrogant and conceited, I just don’t encourage chasing a woman because it really isn’t worth your time.
If you can rewire your brain to appreciate that which comes to you, then you may never feel diminished in life. Contentment and happiness will not evade you.
1. You run the risk of getting rejected and wasting your time
Obviously, there’s a risk of getting rejected by anyone, even if she was initially interested in you. But the problem with chasing women is that it involves a strong form of pursuit.
Most men interpret the chase as sending her a ton of messages, spending money on her, always initiating the conversation and carrying it, not accepting rejection and waiting on her indefinitely while rejecting other girls.
Unlikely normal situations of equal pursuit, you have sacrificed more in this situation and put all your eggs in one basket without any reason to.
If you get rejected, the amount of wasted effort is insurmountable compared to a normal situation that doesn’t involve chasing a woman.
2. You could be investing time in women who actually want you
The whole point of a relationship is to mutually care for each other. This involves providing equal effort and investment in the relationship because you both want to give love to each other.
In life, I believe there is an unspoken equation that dictates what we get from our decisions.
When you choose one thing, inadvertently, you reject another. That’s just an explanation for what I have witnessed in my life.
Years ago, when I invested my time chasing a specific girl to no avail, I had lost out on a girl who was interested in me and who I actually liked at some point thereafter.
It’s tempting to chase after something that is hard to get because it projects a sense of worth that seem almost unattainable. But just because it’s hard to get doesn’t mean it’s good for you.
The same can be said for people.
3. It diminishes your self-worth and value
I read a poem about life recently and a particular line struck a chord with me. “Give too much of yourself away and you’ll be all used up.”
Have you ever chased someone and found yourself feeling empty inside at times? I have.
The reason for why I felt this emptiness evaded me for a long time. The more I chased, the emptier and uglier I felt.
As time went on, it dawned on me that I was completely giving myself to someone who gave me nothing in return but asked for too much.
When I decided to walk away and put an end to this unhealthy dynamic, things changed. Over time, I understood how diminished I felt in that situation.
Value yourself and only reward people with your attention, effort and company if they deserve it.
If you operate on this level, the quality of women in your life will drastically improve.
4. It creates an unhealthy power dynamic
The foundation of any healthy relationship is built on equal effort and investment by two people.
But when you chase a woman, not only do you deprive yourself of being pursued but you submit all your power to her.
This may be a controversial statement but I believe it to be true.
In every relationship where one party is taken for granted, it’s often the person who chases.
I challenge you to step away from chasing a woman and watch how the relationship starts to fall apart.
Why? Because you aren’t there to hold everything together with your excessive effort.
If a woman is genuinely interested in you, she will notice this difference and start changing her behavior to accommodate you more by making an effort.
Alternately, you’ll catch a wake-up and realize how defeated and diminished you feel by chasing this girl. Then, you’ll stop!
Here’s how you can attract a girl without chasing her
I like to think of dating as a game of subtlety. During the early phases, less is more.
As a man, you ought to take responsibility of setting up dates with a woman.
Rather than spend much of your time texting or talking her out of liking you, save your conversations for a date. Call her up, chat a bit and ask her out.
Be deliberate and very clear about the details. Take charge of the romance. Ask her when she is free, then set a time and place to meet or pick her up.
On the date, focus on asking her questions and having a good time.
Forget about trying to impress her with silly lines and over-the-top flirting. Instead, pay attention to her and be a good sport. This will have a profound effect on her level of attraction.
Don’t try to rush or force a romance to brew. You may need to step aside from your desire to do this but being objective will save you from a lot of heartache.
With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article. Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.