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Is Chasing Men Worth It? (5 Terrible Cons)

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You have a habit of chasing men in hopes of trying to win their affection and show them how interested you are. But, you’re unsure if it’s a good thing to do. So, you ask, is chasing men worth it?

No, chasing men is not worth it because it devalues your worth and forces you to run after people who are not willing or interested in putting in the same effort as you are. 

What I can tell you, with absolute certainty, is that the best of relationships are built on mutual effort. 

It may not be equal but at different times, both of you will make a great mutual effort to connect with each other on a deeper level. 

I want you to consider something for a second – what do people value more, things that come easy or things that they have to work hard for? 

From observation, we can say that people value that which they have to work for. 


If the result or prize is the same thing, why does it matter whether it came easily or through difficulty?

The answer is investment

When we have to invest our time and effort into something, it creates more desire and appreciation for the prize because it costs us something. 

If we’re willing to make that kind of trade, then we must care, by necessity. Otherwise, we wouldn’t bother making an effort.

And that’s the reason why it’s not worth it to chase men.

Men who invest no time or effort into connecting with you, to the point that you have to chase them, are clearly men who don’t care enough about getting to know you.

Why would you want to reward someone for not making an effort or for bad behavior? Would it make them behave better?

No. It won’t.

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If anything, they’ll show a lack of appreciation for what you say and do. 

That, in turn, will make you feel as if what you have to offer and what you’ve been doing is not good enough for their attention and affection.

It’s not true but your brain will lead you to believe that, even if you’re the least insecure person on this planet. 

What I think is that we should rephrase this question as follows – is chasing men who are not interested worth it?

The answer is unequivocally, no. 

Now that we have a clear answer on whether chasing men is worth it, let’s dig a little deeper into why so that you are convinced that it’s not worth your effort. 

Related post: 7 Signs you are chasing him and why you should stop

1. You’ll waste precious time and energy

By chasing men, not only will you use up valuable time and energy that you can never get back but it prevents you from spending time on other things and people that matter.

Everything in life changes and nothing lasts forever.

Your friends and family won’t be around indefinitely.

And the opportunities you have right now may not come around again. 

If chasing men consumes your life to such a point that you miss out on valuable and amazing memories and experiences with loved ones, you’ll be filled with regret in the future. 

Additionally, chasing after men is usually something that happens when you are investing yourself in people who don’t truly seem interested in something meaningful with you.

Men who actually genuinely like you will pursue you and it will be quite easy to get their attention and time.

So, would you rather be wasting your time on men who don’t really care enough to make an effort or would you rather spend time on men who will value and cherish your time and presence? 

2. It will make you feel undervalued

Imagine putting in a ton of effort and time into chasing men and they don’t respond to your messages, they don’t seem excited when they see you and they don’t do anything to romance you. 

They serve only their desires and you’re left feeling like just any random person to them.

That will be awful.

It would devalue you to such a terrible extent.

You could blame them but you could also blame yourself because the only person who is in charge of knowing your worth is you.

Until you are able to identify the kind of way you want to be treated by men, you’ll continue to find yourself chasing men who make you feel undervalued. 

3. It will hurt more if they reject you

What’s worse than feeling undervalued? Being tossed aside after you make every single effort to make someone feel special and cared for.

That’s what happens when you invest too much of yourself in people before they even prove their worth.

If you wait until you are involved with people who genuinely care about you, then being rejected significantly reduces and you’ll often find yourself not needing to chase after them because they actually make time to see you.

Not all those men will fall in love with you and you may not go on to have a relationship with them but you’ll at least leave those interactions knowing that you got as much as you put in. 

That they actually saw your worth and were excited to make an effort to get to know you.

If all you’re doing is chasing men, it will be easier for them to reject you because they didn’t invest and harder for you to deal with rejection because of how much you invested in them. 

Related post: I stopped chasing him and he came back

4. They won’t make much of an effort even if they like you

Sometimes, you may end up chasing men who actually do like you. They may see you for exactly who you are and admire you for all the amazing traits you possess.

But, because you barely give them the opportunity to miss you or work for your effort, they won’t really feel the need to do much.

They’ll go along with the ride and enjoy all the effort you make.

They may actually like you, too but because you’re chasing them, you’ll often feel like you’re not being romanced.

You have to be willing to let men come to you and sweep you off your feet.

5. Chasing men makes you look desperate

Believe it or not, feelings develop in-person and in absence. What this means is that you should spend as much time away from someone as you do with them.

This healthy balance of distance will make men think about you, fantasize and start missing you.

There’s no way a man can believe you’re desperate if you’re not even around half the time.

When they begin to miss you, they’ll reach out and try to see you. In other words, they’ll make an effort and you won’t have to chase them.

Additionally, giving them space to miss you will avoid the possibility of overwhelming or scaring men off through neediness or clinginess. 

This will completely remove the possibility of you coming across as desperate.

Related post: How to make him miss you like crazy

In Conclusion

You really don’t need to chase men because those who are interested and see your value will make it ridiculously easy to see them and spend time with them.

Also, don’t sell yourself short. You deserve to have someone who is willing to make an effort to be with you.

This is why it’s important for you to spend more time investing in self-improvement because it will remind you of all the amazing things you have to offer someone as a partner.

The more you accomplish as an individual, the more confident you will become. The more confident you are, the more self-respect you’ll have and the more you’ll attract better quality men.

This will guide you towards making the right decision for your heart and life.

With that being said, I hope you found this article to be insightful and eye-opening. If you’d like for me to write about something specific, feel free to drop a comment down below with your suggestions or questions.

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