The last thing you want to do is give your ex more power over you. Rather than lowering yourself to their level with petty revenge tactics, it’s best to give them no reaction at all. Which is why ignoring your ex is the best revenge.
It attaches a dire consequence to their decision of betraying you, dumping you or being a bad partner in general.
The fact that they reached out puts you in a more dominant position.
Sure, you could engage with them but what’s the point of doing so?
I’ve written about the power of silence before but here’s the gist of what it does. Being silent negates any control someone may have over you. It doesn’t validate anything they’re saying nor does it put you in a position of allowing someone bad back into your life.
Silence also sends across a message of strength. Imagine transitioning from chasing after your ex to now ignoring him or her! That’s shocking and unexpected. Your ex will not see this coming at all and it’s a great way of humbling them.Â
Let’s be honest with ourselves, most of our exes only contact us after ending a relationship because they’re looking for comfort and validation. They probably realized the grass isn’t as green on the other side. Which is why getting ignored will really affect them.
Related post: Why is she ignoring me?
Why you should ignore your ex
Unless your ex was an amazing person, it’s likely that talking to your ex will invite unwanted and unnecessary drama into your life.
Additionally, moving on completely and leaving the past behind necessitates a clean break from an ex. From my own experience, I can attest to the no contact rule. It’s an effective and useful tool for moving on, especially if you’re a sentimental person who struggles with nostalgia.
Then you should take into account the effect this has on your self respect and dignity. Most of us who have been dumped are victims of desperation. We chased and begged our exes to take us back or reconsider their decision.
But this behavior takes a huge toll on the way we feel and think about ourselves.
Flipping the script and ignoring your ex now will have a profound effect on the way he or she views you and more importantly, the way you view yourself.Â
Related post: How to make a guy chase you by ignoring him
What happens when you ignore an ex
At first, your ex will be confused by your lack or replies. They may chalk it down to you being unavailable or busy at the moment. But as soon as enough time lapses, the possibility of being ignored enters their mind.Â
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At this point, confusion turns into disbelief and patience turns into anxiousness. This may encourage your ex to send a follow-up message to get your attention. It may be very well worded without any hint of desperation or nervousness.
When you ignore this message as well, that’s when your ex has to face the reality of the situation.
Being ignored can have one of two effects:
- It may encourage your ex to chase after you out of desperation and an inability to accept rejection.
- They walk away feeling defeated and surprised by your stance.
Based on what you’re looking to achieve, these outcomes will benefit you irregardless of which appears first.
What I will say is that if you ignore someone for long enough, they’ll eventually get the message and walk away.Â
Related post: How to make a girl chase you by ignoring her
Am I a rude person for ignoring my ex?
No, not at all. If you’re one of those people who had a horrible ex, I’m sure they weren’t all too concerned about being rude when they broke your heart and hurt you.
And even if your ex didn’t do anything bad per se, that doesn’t mean you owe them anything. At the end of the day, moving on can be difficult. You have to prioritize your own happiness and that may require you to be rude to some people.
That’s okay because I’d rather be a little rude to an ex than put myself through pain and suffering for someone who opted to leave my life. Similarly, you should put your well-being first and do what’s right for you.Â
I’m not saying this is a rule of thumb but if you’re an overly polite person who often sacrifices their own needs and wants to avoid being rude, then I’m talking specifically to you.
How long should you ignore your ex?
Honestly, that depends on you. If there comes a time when you’re completely over him or her and feel content with allowing them back into your life, then resume talking. But, you may have to ignore your ex forever to avoid complicating your life again.
What I can tell you is that a time will come when you completely stop thinking about your ex.
Ignoring them will no longer be an active or intentional decision. It’s something that will happen naturally because you’ll be too busy living your life to worry about whether they contacted you or not.
This will especially be the case when you have found love again. I can actually remember the last time I spoke to my ex and it was very soon after I started dating my partner. It dawned on me that there was no reason for me to be in any contact with my ex and we never spoke again.
Ironically, there was a time in my life when I couldn’t imagine not talking to her, even after the breakup. But, once I moved on, there was really no need to remain in contact.
I didn’t ignore my ex to get revenge but the effect remains the same.
In conclusion
When I look at all the things you could do to get back at an ex, I strongly feel like ignoring your ex is the best revenge.
It exudes strength, self-respect and confidence whilst stripping away any power your ex held over you. Furthermore, it’s the best way to confuse and shock your ex when they low key expected you to be excited and hung up on them.
And let’s face it, most of the time an ex will come back when they get dumped or rejected. They’re mostly contacting you to get some comfort and validation.
In which case, getting ignored will sting like hell.
With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article on why ignoring your ex is the best revenge. Feel free to leave your thoughts or questions in the comment section below.
I heard from my ex almost an year after our breakup. I ignored her message for a month, but finally gave in to my impulses and wrote a brief but seemingly detached response. She must have sensed it, so that she replied back after a month. Can I regain my esteem by not replying back this time?
Absolutely. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Life is a series of ups and downs and none of us can be perfect. Don’t judge yourself for a mistake like replying to a text from your ex, especially if you are committed to doing what’s right. This is a small thing in the grand scheme of things.
You’re forgetting a third possible outcome:
3. They’ll be overjoyed that they’re finally rid of an unquestionable drain on their life and skip merrily off into the sunset knowing they’ll never have to deal with you again.
Your the ex
Best comment I’ve read in a long time.