If He Goes Back To His Ex, Will It Last?

So, you were involved with a guy, but suddenly he broke things off for his ex. It sucks, and I empathize with you. I’m sure the following question is burning through your mind, “If he goes back to his, will it last?”

It depends on the reason why they broke up, how long they were together, and if they both have a growth mindset for relationships. Problems that caused a breakup will always exist and recur unless a couple takes the necessary steps to fix and overcome them. If they don’t, chances are that if he goes back to his ex, it will not last.

When someone has been in a relationship for many years, it’s incredibly difficult to break all ties and move on unless they fall out of love completely or betrayal is involved. Even then, some couples choose to remain together and work through deal breakers that occurred due to the commitment and years invested in the relationship.

The problem most long term relationships face is monotony and hardwired routines. 

When the excitement and happiness of reconciliation pass, couples tend to fall back into old habits.

Rather than resolving issues with new and more effective methods, they resort to what they used in the past, which ultimately failed them.

If one or both parties to a relationship are unable to maintain the changes needed to preserve the reconciled relationship, doubt and uncertainty, along with dissatisfaction and frustration, set in again.

Left unaddressed, these negative emotions accumulate until the couple breaks up again.

You need to read this article: I miss my ex so much. What should I do?

Were You Just A Rebound Relationship?

It frustrates me to think about this, as I’m sure it does for you, but we really have to entertain the possibility that you were a rebound for him.

As difficult as this may be to do, it’s something that heavily affects the outcome of a particular situation because rebound relationships are prone to ending. 

Why?

Because the rebounder tends to mask their feelings for an ex with the presence and affection of a new relationship.

Unfortunately, residual feelings will always surface, and when they do, the rebounder is plunged into a state of sadness, grief, doubt, and uncertainty pertaining to their new relationship and to their ex.

I’ve mentioned this before, but relationships that burn brightly at first tend to die the fastest when there are other factors at play, like an ex still being in the picture. 

Rebound relationships almost always exude passion and desire at first, but they don’t last very long.

But, here’s what’s interesting.

I’ve been in rebound relationships before, and they didn’t last long. 

However, because I conduct myself with dignity and am a very respectful person, the very same women who rebounded with me would constantly contact me every couple of weeks or months.

I was able to re-attract them because I learned how to accept rejection or breakups with grace, respect, and confidence.

If you can conduct yourself in the same manner, you will drastically improve the likelihood of him thinking about you, missing you, and even coming back to you in the future.

You need to read this article: Do rebound relationships make you miss your ex more

Tips On Re-Attracting A Man

Okay, now that we’ve got that out of the way, I think it’s more important for us to discuss what you should do if he goes back to his ex.

It’s pointless for us to fixate on something out of our control. There’s no guarantee that his relationship with his ex will last or fail.

Sitting around and hoping that it won’t last won’t actually affect what happens in his life or his relationship.

A much healthier use of your time is to focus on yourself.

What can you do to re-attract him, and what can you do to move on if he doesn’t come back?

Those two questions will have a much greater impact on the situation than anything else.

Don’t do these things if you want him to come back to you.

• Don’t chase him.
• Don’t blow up his phone with texts.
• Don’t berate his ex or try to insult her in front of him.
• Don’t beg him to come back, and don’t try to cheat with him, because you will be the biggest loser in that situation. 
• Don’t stalk him or his ex online. 
• Don’t argue or fight with him.
• Don’t throw yourself at him.

The best thing you can do is let him go. More importantly, preserve your dignity and self respect. 

Whenever you consider doing something, ask yourself whether it will preserve your dignity and self respect or damage them.

Here’s why.

When you act with dignity and self respect, people will find you infinitely more attractive than if you don’t.

People with true high value in society don’t sacrifice themselves for the validation and attention of someone who left them.

Ask any man, and they will all agree that we men are incredibly attracted to women who have grace.

This is important. 

You don’t want to be used or considered a distraction, correct?

You want to be someone’s first choice. Your goal is to have a man who will love and honor you for a lifetime. 

For that to happen, said man has to respect you, right?

Before you can expect respect from someone else, you have to treat yourself with respect. It begins with you. 

A person with respect doesn’t tolerate the violation of boundaries, nor do they reward those who reject them. 

They are willing to walk away and let go of others if it means preserving their dignity, self-respect, and honor. 

That’s the kind of woman most men are dying to marry, and it’s getting harder and harder to find such a woman.

Here’s the truth of the matter.

Men are simple minded.

Right now, he’s gone back to his ex. But, if that doesn’t last, who do you think he’ll contact when he’s reflecting on the past?

He’ll be thinking about the girl who was wonderful.

That’s you.

If he still has attraction for you and there was a degree of respect that existed right up until he reconciled with his ex, he will contact you.

Whether you should give him another chance is up for debate.

Unless a man is very handsome, successful, and charming, attracting the type and quality of woman he desires will be difficult!

Even those who tick all those boxes have a hard time finding the right quality woman, so if that’s you, I can assure you, he’ll be back once things with his ex don’t work out.

You need to read this article: Why is it important to let a man chase you?

Key Takeaways:

• Couples who reconcile break up again if they can’t resolve the issues that led to them splitting in the first place.
• Couples who have been together for many years are more likely to reconcile and stay together.
• If he still has attraction and respect for you, he will come back if things with his ex don’t work out.
• Don’t beg, chase, plead, or throw yourself at him in an attempt to get him back. This will only devalue your worth in his eyes. 
• Act with grace, self respect, and dignity when facing breakups or rejection. It drastically improves the likelihood that he will come back to you in the future when he’s single. 
• Don’t waste your time waiting for his relationship to fail. Channel all your time into living your own life and being the best version of yourself. Either you’ll get him back, or you’ll find someone better.

Final Thoughts

If he goes back to his ex, maybe it will last, or maybe it won’t.

Either way, it’s a waste of your time and life to sit around waiting to find out.

He made his choice right now, and it is imperative that you choose yourself and do what is right for you.

I understand how painful and depressing it is to get rejected or to lose someone suddenly because of their ex.

But, such is life, and I believe that the right person would choose you over their ex.

I hope you can believe that too.

With that being said, if you’d like to learn more about getting an ex back, grab a copy of my eBook called Reconcile by clicking here. Alternatively, head over to my services page to get in contact with me for email coaching with yours truly.